Mine Will Always Be Yours

#PEDESTRIANS#

Yesterday's conversation still conquering some part of her brain, causing her to rewind back what had happened 3 years ago. Other than thinking about Arthur, Carol also take place in her mind. Janice somehow felt guilty for not being by Carol's side when she admitted to hospital. She felt guilty for not concerning about Carol's health since the beginning. She befriend with Carol for years, even though it's not as special as she thought, she should at least noticed something wrong about Carol.Why she skipped classes,why she often carried around a mysterious extra pouch in her bag, why she never participate in physical games and more whys lingering in her mind.

         Carol waited for the organ donor alone in the hospital back then. I wonder where were all her friends? Who she always hung out with?
If i only i could be there, i'm not going to hesitate to help you. You once betrayed me but, i still love and care for you. But i'm still glad that Eric was the one who be the donor. You're very lucky girl, Carol. 'Very' i should say.

"Maybe i should go back there for a while and visit her once." Janice talked to herself quietly. "But how can i know where she is? " 

The light turned from red to green. Like usual, hundreds of pedestrians waiting with her began to cross the road as quickly as possible before the light turn red again. It's not looked like they're running, but everyone quicken their pace of walking and the word 'rushing' may defined them well.

Realizing the sudden move by all the pedestrians stopped her train of thoughts and she also began rushing with the rest as well. With the petite size of her body, she need to be careful so that she won't be squished by taller and bigger person than she is.

Plus, it's Monday morning. Of course a lot of people need to hurry for their work. In Korea, punctuality is the key for success.

But that morning, the luck was not with her. A rushing man suddenly pushed her back and she lost her balance. The man just said sorry and walked away. She was annoyed but she couldn't do anything to it. Slowly, she picked up her bags and scattered files on the road quickly. The other pedestrians who walked passed her just looked at her without any sign of helping.

Maybe everyone was in hurry. They can't use the reason that they helped a girl picking up scattered belongings to tell their boss why they're late to workplace. Sure it's gonna be a nonsense and unacceptable reason for eternity.

"You're okay,Miss?" A hand finally showed up helping her chasing her flying papers.
"I need a help." Janice make it simple and continue to pick her things as quick as she can cause sooner or later, the light will turn red. Pedestrians also getting lesser and lesser.

Glad for the man who came to help her, she was able to collect it faster. She ran crossing the road to the other side with the man followed behind her. Janice let out an exhaled of relief for be able to make it on time. Just when the man and she arrived at the other side of the road, the cars began to cross the zebra crossing.

"Thank you for helping me." Janice said while they exchange the papers from the man's hand. The man is quite tall that Janice need to lift up her head first.

"Janice."The man said in his hoarse voice. "We need to talk."

Janice froze. The voice was not unfamiliar to her. After 3 years, she finally met him again, the one who kept reminded her of Carol. Janice looked up to his face and stared at his eyes.
There's something wrong happened. His eyes fulled of worries and panic.

...

"Janice," Eric said with something feels bitter in his throat. He was about to give her the saddest news ever that he himself feeling heavy to tell. The heaviest that he could ever experienced.

They just stopped by the nearest cafe and sat at the very back of the corner, not wanting to be in the center of attentions. They don't even bothered ordering drinks as Janice couldn't stay longer than 20 minutes. Whatever Eric trying to say, it must be very important until Eric decided to fly all the way crossing the sea to meet her in Korea.

"Janice,...i don't know how to put this in words..but." Eric's pupil suddenly wandering around but mostly looking down and outside of the window. Eric seems soo nervous and wrecking around. His grip to his own hands looked getting tighter and tighter.

"Eric! What's wrong?" Janice asked feeling worried as well. She never seen Eric acting this way. Like he's so freaking nervous and worried.

"Janice, Carol....Carol's dying.." Eric said under his breath, barely can't be heard by Janice.
"What did you say?" Janice squinted her eyes, trying to focus more on how Eric moved his lips. But one thing she was very sure, Eric mentioned Carol's name.

Can't hold it anymore, Eric began to pass half of his heaviness on his shoulder to Janice. He need someone to share with. And Janice should be the perfect one to listen to all of this.

"Carol is dying, Janice!!" Eric said directly and firmed. Finally feeling a little bit lighter than before as he finished the stage one of accomplishing his mission.

Janice was so sure that she don't have hearing problem. And what she had heard just now was totally an adrenaline activator. The train of questions and thoughts began to play in her mind.
Her brain started to get all muddled up with mixed feelings. She is worried, sad, nervous, panic and everything that could define anyone's feelings when your old friend who you just heard a happy ending of him or her but then suddenly received a twist to a shocking news that can broke your heart into million pieces just after a day you heard the happy one.

It's all too sudden for her to accept. She thought all of Carol's suffers had all come to an end. But it's still not. Her eyes began to create a pond of tears, starting at the corner of her eyes.

"What do you mean? I thought her cancer stopped when you gave her your kidney. What did you mean by she's dying??!" Janice said getting more and more upset.
"Yes i do. We did stopped the cancer. But Carol hide something more dangerous about her health from me, from you, from everyone!" Eric said.

Looking at Janice too baffled by what he just said,Eric got no other choice than just to be straight forward.

"Carol also diagnosed with brain tumor, at the bottom/base of her brain. Nothing can do with it because operation is not recommended,as....she could die anyway. It's too risky." Eric said trying to control his sorrow voice. " She was diagnosed when she was 23 years old, means that a year ago. Doctor said she should proceed with treatments, but she never come to the hospital to do so."

"But why? Why she didn't do the treatments? I just don't get it!" Janice started to tear up.
"Because she knew there's no happy ending for her. Even tho she did all the treatments, she's still not able to get rid of it and....... she's know she's gonna die sooner than everyone else. She told me that doing all the treatments would just waste her money." Eric explained.

"She told you that?" Janice asked.

"Look, Janice. I'm not here to explain you everything. I'm not the right person." Eric said. " Janice i'm begging you. Carol reached the stage 4 already and she wants to meet you so bad. She wants to apologize to you. That's why i'm here."

"I will go,Eric. I will. She's my friend!" Janice said confidently. "But how did you know i'm here?"

"Arthur texted me."Eric said. " I told him that i need to meet you. And he gave me your workplace address. Sadly, that's the last message he ever texted me. By any chance, do you know where Arthur is? Carol wants to meet him too. She want to meet you both."

"I...I...I don't know,Eric." Janice stammered in her voice.

"That's weird, he knew your whereabouts but you don't know his?" Eric asked, quite confused and upset as he can't bring along with him, two persons that Carol wants to meet the most.

"I..I don't know,Eric. I wish i know." Janice looked down as she feeling useless.