Mine Will Always Be Yours

#SORRY#

        She opened her eyes ,feeling heavy. As usual, the same white ceiling with dazzling lights as the first things she saw every time she woke up from her deep sleep.
      She looked to her side and saw various wires attached to her body and ticking machine, showing her heartbeats. That's the only music that she got, to kill the silence in the room of her. Without the ticking sounds, maybe she will no more there.

        She's lucky to have Eric by her side. After what she did that upsets him, he's still there for her and even forgave to all her mistakes.
        She hope she can go back to time where everything still fine between her and Janice. But, to her realization, she was way too late.

        She fixed her back to make her stand, resting her back with pillows supporting her. From the drawer beside her, she took out a piece of paper and a black pen. With that, she began writing, addressed it to Janice and Arthur.

        I know this can be the dumbest idea ever came across my mind. But i didn't have any other option. I don't want to see you crying by my side when you know i'm no longer here, in this cruel world. I thought, the only way to make you stay away from me was just by creating a bridge in between us with the river full with hate set us apart.

       Apart from that, i also have been dreaming about how it feels like when you're able to be closer with someone you love...and i love Eric.

      And it turns out that you had a crush on him too. I'm sorry ,Janice....i do want to back off, but then i thought, it will make it easier for you to hate me. So, i snatched away Eric from you. And i can experience how it feels like to be around with your loved one. I know, you might be thinking that i'm greedy for my own good. But at least, just once...let me be...

I'm truly sorry if i had broken your heart so much after you saw your letters didn't make it to Eric.

      I admit it that i went too far, following my greediness.Seeing that you still care for me after i failed you, i grew panicked.At the end, I even make Arthur hate you,and i'm happy that you know i'm the reason why. And finally, i know you will hate me so much...and my plan succeed.

     But i don't stop there, i had involved Arthur in my stupid plan. Arthur presence made it even hard for me . And it's hard for me to make a simple confession to Eric when i found out that Arthur liked me. I don't want to hurt him so that's why i sent him away from my birthday party, cause that night i was planning to confess to Eric. I don't want to make him hurt. But then i realize, that i was wrong, i used the wrong way...

     So evil of me,right? I know....and i don't deserve your sympathy. I made my decision, so i need to take the risk. As i make my bed, i must lie on it.

     I'm writing this letter cause i'm afraid i couldn't make it .I have thousands of sorries to say to both of you,Janice and Arthur.

      For Janice, if you already find out the truth from Eric, i'm sorry if i hurt your feeling so much. I know i shouldn't do it, but that's the only way to make you stay away from me. I don't want to see your crying face when i exhaled my last breath.

     For Arthur, I'm sorry for using you all this time.I played with your heart. I'm such a fool to use the most cruel way to make you stop liking me and even used you to make Janice hate me...but believe me...I don't deserve your pure heart. And i kept torturing you....I'm sorry,Arthur. Hope you can forgive me before i gone. I wanna say thank you for been liking me, but i don't deserve it. Plus, i can see in your eyes, that your heart doesn't belong to me.

I'm sorry for being the reason why both of you separated until now.
I'm sorry for making you need to fly away from here to cure your broken heart, Janice.
I'm sorry for making you confused,Arthur. I'm sorry if I'm the reason why, who make you decided to disappear from everybody.

I'm really sorry for causing all of these upsetting memories to you guys.

Please, thanked Eric for staying by my side till the end.

I love you guys...

From,
Ca- -

The pen suddenly dropped from her tight grip when she just about to finished her letter properly. Causing her signature not written prettily.Her disease began to get worse when she couldn't control her body like she want it to be.

She can't help but to to cry as much as she can. She don't have much time anymore. And yet, her heart still surrounded by guilt if her letter didn't make it to Janice and Arthur.

Carefully, she fold her letter into a rectangle shape and  slid it under the vase of flower on her side table to make sure it stay in place.

Thank you Eric for helping me to find them, I'm sorry of I'm such a burden to you... Carol mumbled to herself, wiping her tears using the back of her pale white hand.

She tried to stop crying but the tears kept forming at the corner of her eyes, no matter how hard she try, they kept falling,. Even her hands became wet from all the the tears she wiped.

She bite the tip of her sleeve ,trying not to sobbed too loud. Even tho the machine sounds louder than her, her sobs still paint the air.

When suddenly, a sharp unbearable pain attacked her head. She held her head with both of her hand, trying to fight with the pain.

Feeling panic and tired, Carol tried to reach the buzzer to call the nurse but it dropped on the floor. She tried to reach it but the pain kept torturing her. Make her view became more and more blurry,... and soon it went complete dark.

     The last thing Carol could feel was the cold floor of her room against her skin.