Hot mess

901 21 13
                                    

Luke enters and with some other men you follow in upscale office building with unmarked entrance. A man greets you at it, respectfully he bows and leads you to elevator. From it, you continue through well-decorated hall into session room. The room is styled in traditional fashion, a luxury desk is in the middle, black leather sofas are set beside it, down it in a row. Picture frames are decorating walls, alongside with shrine decorated with paper lanterns with pictures of the head people. At the end of the desk is Dougen Awakusu, the men which you met at the ceremony, accompanied by two men. Everyone exchanged greetings then seat. Attentively you look around, you should have known that he's the head of Awakusu-Kai, Yakuzas of Ikebukuro. The meeting begins. Plans are considered, tasks set, deals made. It doesn't take long that everyone involved and starts to make deals, each being in charge in different section of work. After a while, after everything is set, Luke hints everyone to get out.

"I'll go and catch a breath" familiar with such sessions you excuse yourself since all you have to do is wait for the ones in charge to make last deals and plans, or just to have a chat. You walk down and get out. No matter how many times you return you can't get enough of Ikebukuro. The streets and people, it's lively and bright, tempting and addictive. It's inviting and warm, it's like home.

There. That street. It's one of many, yet it reminds you of that dream.

Kida. Celty. Jean. Nick. Troy. Shizuo. All are smiling, smiling at you, showing the way out of this emptiness. There on the end of the street. There is a light in which street blends in. It's inviting you, it's calling.

Rapidly you shake head and blink a few times. It's not real. They are not there, there is only crowd of unfamiliar faces. Kida? Blonde which you meet after you woke up. They said you were friends. Yet maybe that's just a lie? The memory...the one you chased yesterday. Wasn't that when you met him for very first time. And Izaya, he was there too. Like he was when you passed out. 
Ah, you passed out in front of him, how embarrassing, how humiliating, pathetic. Anxiety and Humiliation. And then you had a panic attack? He saw that, he saw you all helpless and weak. He won't take you seriously after this, he said it himself. How immature and reckless. Humiliation, embarrassment, scornful mess.

Why did he have to be there to see you like that? It's just- ..but what if he wouldn't be? Or if he wouldn't help you? Izaya helped you, he offered his help. What's the point of it? What's his plan? He'll definitely want something from you or he'll just mock you, make fun and jokes out of you. But still... He helped, he offered help. And you rejected it, yet still he did the right thing. So why did you yell and insult him instead of praising him? Why did you do that? I-it was wrong. How could you act so stupid and reckless? He's right. You are useless, ungrateful bitch. He's right...

"hah" he really carried you when unconscious. It happened at industrial zone, right? Not far from the bookstore. It's away a few minutes of walking, or that's completely opposite part of Ikebukuro? Not sure where you are, you continue to walk down the street, trying to recognize familiar signs, streets and stores.

And what were those dreams about?
Kida, Celty, Jean, Nick, Troy, Shizuo. And Izaya...He's the only one left who's taking a direct role in your life. What about Kida? And Celty? When is the last time you saw her and Shizuo...when they crashed the place and came for Ivan. Enemies.

As you glance aside you recognize specific restaurant. You walked here before. 

People, shades and dim figures.

What are these illusions? They don't seem like memories. What is the meaning of this?

Your eyes stray to small store. 

"is it.." A small store....It's same old store at which you regularly bought cigarettes when passing by this district. A-Kai are close to it? It's so tempting, maybe that will trigger some memory. It can't do bad, just one. You walk to the store and look around it then purchase a pack of cigarettes. It feels right, just like you did it in the past. Automatically you glance around, searching for something. There's no Jean. He would wait for you there, at that bar. Curiously you walk to the bar and glance around then inside. Indeed, he was usually waiting here, for you. This side street. You would walk through it to the parking lot on the other side.

Snake[Izaya X Reader]Where stories live. Discover now