Love and other disasters (A Zac and Tom story)

Leaving her broken

*Zac*
Shit what just happened ? Who was that woman ? I hurry up, turning of the water, getting out and wrapping a towel around me.

As I get out from the bathroom, Zaina comes in...She looks somewhere between fearful and amusement and I quickly say. "Hi darling.. uhh someone was just in here. I think she got a shock or something".

"You can say that Zac". She say shaking her head. "That was my mother, and she.. she was rather shaken from seeing you.. all of you".

I pull the towel closer around me. "Oh.. not the way I hoped to introduce myself to her... I'm sorry baby, I didn't know she would come by".

"Zac it isn't your fault". She say, reaching up to cup my cheek and I lean into her touch. "She came unannounced. But my mom is .. a bit special".

Letting the towel fall, I reach out to grab the clean boxers I brought. "It is just you know.. it's going to be a bit awkward meeting your mom again".

She giggles, her eyes running over my body as I pulled up the boxers. "Yeah especially the way she was screaming about the beast with the.. beast in my shower".

"She called me that ?" I feel myself swallow, the tears burning behind my eyes... I know what she was talking about... A lot of men might say that they would love to be in my spot, but if they knew how this feel in they wouldn't. "She called me.. a beast".

"Zac, it wasn't... No I won't make excuses for my mom being a uptight bitch... She called you a lot of not flattering things... She isn't used to seeing.. uhm someone like you.. it scared her". She say, looking like she don't know what else to say.

My throat feels like it is closing up and there is a painful emptiness in my chest. Fighting the emotions I ask. "Someone like me ? What is someone like me ? What am I ? Some beastly freak ? The monster you scare your kids with at night ?"

"Zac no.. please don't do this to yourself... I didn't mean it like that". Her eyes are brimmed with tears. "Please don't let my mother ruin anything between us. I.. I .. it came out wrong... Zac you are special, but in a good way.. you are strong, beautiful, impressive and amazing in every way".

I am fighting all those old feelings for a moment... You can fight this Zac. "Sorry I reacted like that.. sorry I snapped at you. It's just.. my own mom used to call me those things among others when I was younger. It has taken some time getting through it".

She steps up to me, winding her arms around me. "Oh I had no idea Zac. I feel so bad now... But don't apologies, I get why you reacted like that".

"It's just it's still kind of a sore spot, even after a shit load of therapy. And well I want your parents to like me". My arms are around her to.. feeling her snuggle into me, hearing the little involuntary noises my every touch pulls from her, it feels so damn good.

She look up at me. "My mom has to come around, I mean it is impossible not to like you. I like you, a lot.. all of you".

*Tom*
I wake up, wrapped around Avery. Is it weird that I just want to wake like this for the rest of my life ? I watch her beautiful face in the morning light, feeling how my heart swell.

This is overwhelming and a bit scary, but I have no doubt about my feelings. I just didn't believe in love at first sight, not before it walked into my life utterly unexpected.

And I make a decision right here and now. I need to take control of my own life. This is something I can't let slip through my fingers. I have already sacrificed so much. There must be a point to stop and start plucking the fruit of my hard work.

I slowly get out of bed, not to wake her. Pull on my shorts and grab my phone, making my way to the roof garden. It is afternoon in London now and a find Luke's name, pressing the button.

"Hi Tom, is something wrong ?" I had called him yesterday to update him about the earthquake, just in case someone had seen me there and asked.

I take a deep breath. "I wouldn't say wrong Luke, more like right. I.. I met someone, a woman. She is amazing".

"Okay, I am happy for you Tom... But you know you are flying back here tomorrow right ?" He sounds a bit nervous and sceptical.

"That is what I wanted to talk to you about.. I am staying Luke, for now at least... I am not coming back tomorrow". I hold my breath, waiting for an explosion. But I can't leave her..not this soon. I just need to change plans.

There is silence in the other end, then his voice sound, cold and clear. "You are not doing this to me Tom.. to yourself..  to her ! Not for some bird you just met. For gods sake use that brain of yours Tom and stop thinking with your dick".

"It's not like that Luke. I love her.. she.. she might be the one...And well that other thing, you just have to sort it, it's your job right ?" I tell him. I need him to understand this.

Luke's voice is patient. "Listen Tom, even if it really is love and if we forget about your other commitments for a moment... Is this girl even ready for this ? Does she know what it means to be with you ? I mean you have seen what Sophie has to live with being with Ben, could she handle that ?"

"I don't know Luke.. I will do my best to protect her". I bite my lip. I hadn't really thought about that. I know from Ben and Sophie that it can be hell at times, all the speculations and accusations.

"And Tom, you know she....".

*Avery*
I have woken up and pulled on my clothes. Wondering where Tom is, when he comes through the window from the fire escape. "Morning Tom.. I was wondering where you had ran of too".

"Morning Avery". There is something weird about the way he moves and his voice. I walk over to him, trying to put my arms around him, but he pull away. "We need to talk".

My heart sinks, everyone knows what that sentence means. I feel the tears starting to burn behind my eyes as I wonder what happened. "Okay, about what ?"

"About us, this.. our relationship". He makes a motion with his hands. He looks so distant, so cold in some way. "I mean I am leaving for London tomorrow at the latest. I have so much to do the next year and long distance is hard enough with a normal job.. I don't see how we would make it work".

I swallow a sob. "And those thing just appeared to you now ? You didn't think about this yesterday or the day before that ? I thought our love could make it work".

"Love ..". His eyes dilate, brighten for a moment, then he look away shaking his head. "We just met each other".

I feel empty, hollow.. like he has ripped out my heart and left nothing in its place. But why am I surprised ? I knew it from the moment we met, that he would break my heart and still I handed it to him without a second thought. "If that is what you feel".

"I guess I better leave". He says, he is looking at the floor, his chest kind of stuttering every time he breathes.

I close my eyes for a moment.. I won't give him my pain and my tears. I won't let him know how he is leaving me in pieces. "Yeah, you better do that".

Watching him walk around, collecting the few things he has left in my apartment. He walks towards the door. "Goodbye Avery".

"I love you!" I shout, the impact of my words lost on him. "I have loved you since the moment I met you, and since then, what I've felt has only grown. My thoughts can't fucking move without constantly being drawn back to you!" Hands dropping, my voice crack as I continue. "You're it. You're my world".

He meet my eyes with no remorse. "But you're not mine and you never will be". And with that, I watch, speechless, as my forever simply ceased to exist when Tom closes the door behind him.