Love and other disasters (A Zac and Tom story)

Feeling lost

*Zaina*
"You look like you haven't slept for a week". I say watching Avery eat her breakfast. I am concerned about her. I mean she is constantly getting Tom and that.. that woman stuffed down her throat everywhere, as they seem to be on some kind charm the world trip.

She stuff a piece of bacon in her mouth. "I know what you are thinking, but it has nothing to do with 'prince see me and america's sugar coated bitch'. The thunderstorm kept me up".

"It was a bad one, but luckily we didn't get any twisters here". I say. I don't believe that the Tom thing doesn't bother her, but I don't want to pressure her to talk.

She eats another piece of bacon. "Yeah thank God for that. But I heard that we had some bad lightning strikes, like more than 5 times the normal amount or something".

Right then the door opens and Zac comes walking in. He is dirty and his head is hanging. "What happened love ?"

"It all gone, all of it". He says sounding more defeated than I ever heard him before. "The lightning much have hit the trailer".

"The trailer burned ?" I ask in shock, Avery clamping a hand over her mouth. Zac nods slowly. And I hurry over to hug him. "Oh God I am so sorry love".

He snuggles his face into my shoulder, and I nuzzle his neck, the way I know he likes it. "Well at least most of my stuff is still in storage or at your place, so could have been much worse".

"It's still your home and it must have been such a shock. Just tell me if I can do anything for you". I tell him softly.

"I am so sorry Zac, and same as Zaina, just say it if I can do anything to help". Avery says, putting her hand on his shoulder.

Zac kisses my cheek and smile at both of us. "Thank you, both of you. Right now I would love if I could borrow your key and go to your place for a shower".

"Of course. And it is yours place too, for as long as needed.. our place". I say and go get my keys, handing them to him.

He kisses my cheek again and takes the keys. "Thanks darling. I will go take that shower, I smell like a bonfire here".

"Well I like the smell of bonfires. But you are kind of dirty". I say sending him a smile, before going to wash my hands.

Avery look at me after he has left. "Poor Zac, even if it just a trailer and he didn't have a lot of things there, well it was his home, he must feel rootless".

"Yeah". I look at the door. "I really hope he talks to me about it and don't bury it. I don't want him to go around feeling bad and alone".

She bite her lip. "Jala.. I know that look in his eyes, I see that look every time I look in the mirror. He is putting on a brave face.. he needs you".

"Oh Avery". I go to hug her. I know she is still in pain over that bastard Tom. Then I think about how Zac had avoided my eyes and the tension I had felt in him. "Shit you are right, I need to get to him".

I get my phone and call my colleague, asking him if he can come cover for me, luckily he can, but I am pacing the floor waiting for him to get there. Avery gives me a hug. "I'll be okay, just.. be there for him.. I need to go to work".

*Zac*
I let myself into Zaina's little house, well our little house. Oh I totally forgot to show her any appreciation about that. I should, shouldn't I.. right now I just feel so empty inside, not knowing what to do with myself.

It isn't so much about the things I lost, most of them can be replaced. It's the feeling of not having a home, of not belonging. And the thought that I could have been there.. we could have been there. Hadn't it been for her having to go to work in the morning we would have stayed there and.. I can't even finish that thought.

Getting undressed, throwing my clothes in the washing machine, I am thinking that I will need new clothes, most of it having been in the trailer. Then I step into the shower, letting the warm water wash over me, hoping it will help.

But it starts to weigh down on me, the loss and fear but not only that, it is also everything with Tom.. I feel betrayed, like I didn't know him at all and well the thing with Zaina's mother, I am not used to people hating me and I really don't like it. And I feel the tears start to stream down my face.

*Zaina*
As I step into the bedroom I hear the water running in the bathroom and I hurry out there, finding Zac curled into the corner of the shower cabin, crying softly. I quickly grab a big soft towel and turn of the water. "Zac ?! Come here babe. You are not alone anymore".

But he just stay there, crying and I pull of my socks and step into the shower, draping the towel around him, helping him to stand. Getting him into the bedroom is not an easy task, he is god damn heavy to move around.

I get him to lay on the bed and pull of my own clothes, it isn't sexual it is about warmth and contact. And I slide down beside him, pulling the blanket around us and he instantly snuggle into me, his head burrowed in my chest.

"I know Zac, I know and it is okay to feel lost.. so much has happened in a very short time, anyone would feel dizzy". I tell him lovingly, caressing him gently.

We lay there for a long time, me just stroking him, whispering sweet nothings as he cries and snuggle into me. Suddenly he looks up at me. "Shouldn't you be at work ?"

"I called my colleague in early, you needed me so I had to be here". I tell him softly. "I will always be here if you need me".

His face is still streaked with tears and his warm eyes look into mine, they look right into my soul. "Thank you Zaina, I love you so much".

"And I love you Zac". I tell him, kissing him softly... He is my everything.