The Memoriam Files: Minds [EDITING] ✔

| Chapter 9, Tattoos

|Can't sit around holding up my guard

|Song: Do I ever, Kensington

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Dawn's P.O.V.

Her footsteps echoed through the long halls as she made her way to the cafeteria. After she'd abandoned her old name she was immediately threated a lot nicer. And today was very special because she was finally going to meet the others.
The doctor who walked before her stopped and pushed open two sets of doors. Her eyes widened as she saw the huge group of girls sitting on all the tables that filled the room.
The doctor put a hand on her shoulder and brought her to one of the tables. A girl with long brown dreadlocks was sitting there, together with a girl who had a lot of freckles and black hair. An odd combination but it suited her.
'These will be your friends for the coming few years,' the doctor said, nodding at the girls before taking her leave. She watched the other girls who smiled at her and gestured for her to sit down. She took a seat, folding her hands in her lap. She didn't understand why she was this nervous.
'So what are your names?' She asked.
'I'm Harriet,' the girl with the dreadlocks answered. Then she pointed to the other girl. 'And that's Tori.'
She bit her tongue for that was not what she wanted to hear. Of course they wouldn't tell her their real names. Not if what happened to her had happened to them.
'So what's your name?' Tori asked.
'Oh, it's Dawn,' she answered.
The two girls shared a glare but much more words weren't spoken.
She looked around the hall and felt suddenly so alone. She missed her home, her mother and sister, even the boy from across the street but she wasn't allowed to think of them anymore. They would torture her if she did. Suddenly she stood up from her seat, carefully shoving her knife into her sleeve.
'Where are you going?' Harriet asked.
'Just to the bathroom,' she answered.

She walked across the hall and opened the door with the toilet sign on it. After making sure the door was locked she stood before the mirror, the knife in her hand. She took a deep breath. Then she took her hair in one hand and the knife firmly into the other.
It was as if she could hear her mother's voice singing, her favorite song, "this slope is treacherous, this path is reckless", while she was brushing her daughter's hair. She shook her head, not wanting to think about any of that now. She had to forget.
Taking a deep breath she put the knife in her hair and started cutting.
It didn't go so fast and she cut herself twice while doing it. But when she finally finished she smiled at herself in the mirror. It was as if a stranger was smiling back, a stranger with her face but not her name or her hair. It was now short, just above her shoulder.
If Wicked wanted her to forget who she was, then she would.

When I woke up I noticed there were tears streaming down my cheeks. Quickly I wipped them away. Forcing down my sob. I had been so young, not even eight years old and yet I had been so lonely and in so much pain. I stared at the sky, trying to calm my breathing but the memory kept playing itself before my eyes. I turned to Newt, lying next to me. His blond hair was wild and messy making him even more adorable. I loved his face when he was asleep. Always had. Peaceful, young. As a reminder of another life. A life we would never be able to get back to.

I took a deep breath and stood up. It was still dark, Minho would probably wake the rest of us up soon, to move forward, right back into the arms of the people we so desperatly wanted to escape. My eyes stared into the darkness. The landscape here wasn't beautiful but it had something tragic to it that made me stop and stare for a moment.
If this was what the world looked like I would rather go back and live in the Maze.

Suddenly there was a crack behind me. I reached for the knife in my boots since I didn't have my bow anymore and turned around, the knife raised above my head.
'Woah! Careful it's just me!'
I blinked and lowered the knife when I saw Lisa standing behind me with her hands in the air. I breathed out with relief and put the knife away.
She chuckled but it seemed force. 'You're jumpy today.'
I shook my head. 'Not really, just scared.'
She took a deep breath and nodded. 'Yeah, me too.'
I raised my eyebrows. It wasn't like her to admit that. 'Everything alright?' I asked.
Lisa blinked confused, her mind had been far away. 'Mmm? Yeah I'm fine.' She walked up to me and stared out over the dark desert before us.
I turned back to the view and felt a wave of sadness hit me. All those people who lived here. They were all gone...
'Do you think they could do it again?' Lisa asked.
I frowned and turned to her. 'Do what?'
She looked at me. 'Control me?'
I opened my mouth to answer but closed it again. Honestly I had no idea. Lisa sighed, probably knowing what I had been thinking.
'Then I can't come with you.' She walked away and kneeled down by one of the bags.
'What? Don't be silly!' I said, walking after her.
'I'm not being silly and you know it. Who knows what I will do next time. I could seriously hurt someone.' Her voice was calm as she spoke but I heard how much the words hurt her. She took her gun and put it behind her belt. 'Haven't you seen how they look at me? They're afraid of me. All of them. How can I stay?'
I stared at her, not knowing what I should answer. She was right but on the other hand she would never survive on her own.
And where would she go anyway?
If she left now she could turn into a crank, somewhere alone and scared. And I wasn't going to let that happen.
She made a ponytail in her hair and turned her back to me. Ready to walk away.
'Goodbye. Tell the others...' she took a deep breath. 'Tell them to be safe.'
I opened my mouth to scream at her when I suddenly noticed something in her neck.
'Lisa, wait,' I whispered.
She stood still but her back still turned at me. 'What?' She hissed.
'There is something in your neck,' I said and walked forward, my heart beating faster.
I put her ponytail out of the way, reading the words.
'What? What is it?' She asked, slight panic sounding through her voice. I knew the question was pointless though, she already knew what it was.
Letters. There were black letters tattoed on her neck in a messy handwriting.
'Dawn, what does it say?' She asked, the panic making way for anger.

"Property of WICKED. Group A, Subject A15B. The Killer. Special Experiment."

'Shuck,' Lisa mumbled. Then a frustrated groan escaped her mouth. 'See, this is just another sigh I ha-' She cut herself off and narrowed at me.
'What?' I asked feeling suddenly uncertain. 'It's in your neck too,' she said and roughly spinned me around. Her fingers traced the words.
'Well?' I asked. 'What does it say?'

"Property of WICKED. Group A, Subject A15A. The Healer. Special Experiment."

She scoffed. 'You sure got a nicer title than I do.' I gave her a little smile, trying to hide my shock and fear. Questions gave floating up in my head. How was this even possible? Had Wicked been here in the night?

'What's going on?' A voice asked behind me. I turned on my heels to face Newt. He was still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
I felt my heart melting right on the spot, he was so incredably adorable.
For a second I stared motionless at him before I realized I was staring. I cleared my throat. 'Lisa and I, we woke up to find tattoos in our neck. The same as yours.'
Newt frowned and walked towards me. He pulled down my shirt, reading the words out loud. I could feel his wheels spinning. He stared at me but didn't say a word.
Then he turned to Lisa.
'What does yours say?'
She looked away, uncomfortable.
I put my hand on Newt his shoulder. 'It reads, the Killer.'
Newt his eyes widened, then he sighed and rubbed his temples.
'What do you want to do?' I asked him softly.
'We don't say a word. The others don't trust her and this could only make it worse,' Newt responded.
Lisa narrowed at the blond Glader. 'Are you saying that you do trust me?'
Newt was silent for a couple of seconds, looked at me then back at Lisa. 'Dawn trusts you, call me bloody stupid but that means so do I.'
A small smile appeared on Lisa her face and I felt the knot in my stomach untie itself.
Newt kept staring at the both of us for a while until he shook his head. 'I'm going to wake our great leader.' And he walked to where Minho was sleeping.

I turned back to Lisa who seemed to be doubting.
'You can't leave. I won't let you,' I said, my voice firm.
She took a deep breath 'Alright, but don't blame me if someone gets hurt. This tattoo stuff isn't making me feel any better.'
I nodded and gave her a quick hug. 'I will never blame you,' I whispered.