The Memoriam Files: Minds [EDITING] ✔

| Chapter 14, Memories

|I'll shoulder the load, and I'll swallow the shame

|Song: Devil's Backbone, The Civil Wars

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Dawn's P.O.V.

I was scared.
Down to the bone scared.
Maybe that was the reason I had kept my distance from Lisa, or from anyone really.
The only person who I did feel comfortable around was Newt, and he acted weird. Not only did I stay close to him because I loved him but also because I wanted to keep an eye on him. He seemed so sad all the time. And giving his leader position away that easily was still something that bothered me.

But he wasn't the reason why I was scared. I was scared to sleep. I was scared of the night, of tomorrow, of my memories and I hated feeling this way.
I hadn't even been this scared when I was in the Maze that night. This was a total new feeling for me, as if an iron fist was around my heart, squeezing it. It was hard to breathe and I had a constant urge to throw up.
A sigh left my lips and I turned around in Newt's arms. Now I was lying with my face to his. He had his eyes closed and looked so peaceful. An expression only served for when he was asleep.
I couldn't help it but to trace his jaw with the tips of my fingers.
I loved him, I loved him so much.

Suddenly he moved and took my hand. A shock went through my body but I smiled when he opened his eyes.
'What're you doin'?' He asked, his voice low.
I took a deep breath. 'I can't sleep.'
He gave me a sad smile. 'You mean you're scared of your memories.'
I gave him a small frown and then smiled as well. 'I should know better by now than to keep things from you.'
He nodded, the smile still lingering on his face. Then he sat up, leaning his head on his hand. 'You fought bloody grievers and survived Wicked and you're scared of a few buggin' memories?'
'This is different, I-' I stopped myself, playing with Newt his fingers as I searched for the right words to describe what I was feeling. 'It's not that simple, I'm learning all these things about myself and it, well, scares me and I-'
'Come here love,' Newt whispered, interrupting me. He lay on his back. I rested my head on his chest and felt him wrap his arm around me.
'No matter what you see, I'll never think differently of you.' He gave me a kiss on my head.
I smiled and closed my eyes. 'I love you,' I whispered.
'You too,' he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

With a wild beating heart the girl walked into the room. Around the table were doctors seated, along with a few guards. Her sister was there as well, her gaze turned to the table.
'Please take a seat,' one of the doctors, a female, said.
The girl took a deep breath before sitting down, folding her hands in her lap.
'As you well know by now, the Maze Trials will start in two years,' a male doctor started to speak. 'But to determine whether or not you belong in these Trials, you will have to be tested first.'
The girl looked up from her lap, panic flashing through her. 'A test? I have never heard about a test before.'
'It is a new rule to ensure our succes.'
The girl took a deep breath and nodded then slowly, her eyes turning to her sister who seemed to be looking everywhere but at her. Something was wrong, but else could she do than playing along?
'What do I have to do?'
The doctor nodded at one of the guards who started explaing her test. 'For the Trials to be a succes we need more Subjects. For your test you're gonna join us in taking more Immunes.'
Outside. She was going outside.

She was woken out of her thoughts when the Berg landed.
'Slow and steady guys,' the head of the guards said.
There were five guards, plus herself. With a little smile she took her bow and put an arrow on it. The bow always had been her favorite weapon.
With a click the door opened and guards stormed outside.
She kept on standing by the door and raised her bow.
Ready to fire if nessecary.
The street was empty and the guards ran toward one of the little dirty houses.
Her breath stopped. She knew this street, all too well. She used to live here...
After what felt like forever the guards came out of the house, dragging a blond boy and a blond girl with them. They were both struggling and the girl seemed to be crying.
She felt her heart sink to the bottom of her stomach.
She knew that voice.
Of course she knew it.
This was her real test and she had fallen for it.
It was him. Her best friend back when she used to live here. They had played together. Trying to make the world a happier place. Wicked couldn't have him. She wouldn't allow it.

Quickly she made a decision. She knew she was going to regret it, but she didn't care. She had to safe her best friend.
Her bow was loaded and the arrow pointed right at one of the guards.
Without thinking she let it fly and it hit the guard right in his chest.
The boy looked in her direction, his blond hair wild and messy and his brown eyes piercing into her.
She smiled slightly before shooting another guard. 'Go! Run!' she yelled, while shooting another guard down. 'Leave! Now!' she screamed again.
He snapped out of his daze and started to make his way towards his sister. She took another arrow and was about to shoot the last guard. Then she frowned. Where was the fifth guard?
Suddenly something hard and cold was thrown against her head. She groaned and dropped the bow.
Slowly she fell down on the floor. The last thing she saw before her eyes closed was her best friend. Taken with his sister. She failed them

A shock went through my body, causing me to open my eyes. I felt Newt's calm and steady breath, but it didn't calm me. The memory was playing itself over and over again in my head. I looked at Newt and felt a sudden hate for myself. I was the reason he was here, the reason he had suffered through all this pain.
Slowly I broke out of Newt his arms and sat up. I looked around me and suddenly noticed that something had changed.
The wind.
It had been blowing stronger yesterday but now it was so loud I couldn't even hear myself thinking.
I shivered and wrapped my arms around my waist.
Then I turned to Newt and shook him until he was awake.
'What did you bloody do that for?' he mumbled, not even caring to supress his morning mood.
Without saying a word I pointed to the sky. It was pitch black and the wind made it only worse.
Newt narrowed against the wind and sighed. 'Bloody hell.'