Scars (Karma x Depressed Asano) (bxb)

Chapter 1

Asano's POV

I hold the pencil tightly in my hand, tapping the desk nervously as the test results were being handed back. Placing the pencil down softly and I sigh, burying my face into my hands. I know i wasn't able to finish the test properly and I'm terrified of what the results would be.

What would dad think if I didn't come first place?
He would be disappointed obviously.

I suddenly snap out of my thoughts when a slightly crumpled test paper was placed down softly in front of me. I close my eyes for a moment, praying that I got a good mark. I look at my test after a long praying session, but I guess the gods above couldn't hear my wishes.

I could feel my face burning up from frustration and anger. I definitely failed coming 1st.

I hear the bell ring, signaling the students it was break time. I stand up quickly and make my way out of the classroom. I look around and I see students pouring out of their classrooms, chatting and smiling.

I envy them.

I wish I could be as carefree and happy like them, then I wouldn't have to stay up countless nights studying and stressing about my school work. I walk into the nearest restroom and check under the stalls. After I confirm that nobody was there, I lock the bathroom door and take out my small razor blade that I keep in my pocket.

I drag the blade across my pale skin, slowly. I watch beads of blood form on the reddening cuts and slide down my wrist. I could feel a small pain slice through my arm causing me to wince.

Not enough...

I press the blade against my skin once more and slice deeper. The pain gets stronger making me cringe and blood to rush out faster. I sigh quietly and walk to the tissue dispenser. I dab slowly at the cuts, blood smearing all over the area and soaking into the tissue.

After cleaning up the blood, I pull down my sleeve that hid my scared skin. I unlock the big door and walk out as if nothing happened.

~~time skip~~

I walk home with my head hanging low. I feel so disappointed in myself.

I'm such a failure...
Why can't I do anything right...?

I reach my house that literally screamed 'I'm expensive'. I breath in and reach into my pocket for my keys. I unlock the dark brown door and walk in as quietly as possible.

I was expecting my father to be standing in front of the door waiting to scold me, since he did leave school earlier than I did. I looked around to see if my father was in any of the front two rooms.

Maybe he's in your room, waiting to slap the shit outta you...

I shake my head bringing me back to reality. I walk quietly before reaching the kitchen. I suddenly walk into a huge wall...or what I thought was a wall. I rub my nose softly and look up. My father stood there with an unfazed look on his face.

I wait for a slap or maybe a change in expression but he did nothing. He just stood there, staring at me, as if nothing was going on.

"I heard you didn't get full marks on the test." He finally says. I bow my head casting my eyes downwards. I hear nothing after he says this. I peer up to see my father not even there.

I thought he might be angry...

I look around the living room to see that he has retreated onto the sofa with a newspaper in hand.

"Are you angry?" I ask timidly, keeping my distance just incase he was gonna have an outburst.

He shook his head,"No. I don't care less." He replies with a monotone. I freeze hearing those words.

He doesn't care......?

"Oh......" is all I'm able to say.

Of course he doesn't care.
You don't deserve his care.

I flinch hearing my mothers last words echoing in my head. She left but I don't know the reason why. My father decided to look after me until I was able to graduate and move out. I guess she got jealous that father cared about me more than her and decided to part with those final words.

Tears formed at the corner of my eyes, blurring my vision slightly.

"Um...excuse me then..." I mumble quietly before retreating up into my room. I close my door softly and lock it with shaky fingers. I feel an itch on my scarred arm and glance down at it. I know underneath the school uniform sleeve is a page full of marks and ugly scars.

I have two choices.

Either walk into my bathroom and create many more scars than I already have...or....flop onto my bed and cry into my pillow until I'm completely dehydrated...

I decided to go with the latter. I've already made enough scars for a day and I really need to stop the habit of cutting too. I take off my shoes that I forgot to take off downstairs. I decided to have a shower before I cry my heart out. I grab my not very fluffy, lime green towel and walk into the bathroom.

I tear my eyes off the cabinet that my razor resided in and take off the rest of my clothes. I hop into the shower and adjust the water to the temperature I wanted. I begin to hum a tune my father used to hum to me when I was really little...

When he did care...

I shake my head, pushing away the depressing thoughts to the back of my head. I grab the soap and slide it against my skin, bubbles forming on the surface. I get to my right arm and slide it across the reddening cuts causing me to wince slightly from the pain.

After my long shower, I dressed into my short sleeved pajamas, cuz I know I'm going to fall asleep after my crying session. I hop into my bouncy bed and close my eyes. I haven't even thought of anything and I could already feel tears spilling from my eyes.

I guess it would have been better if I were never born....