The Little Black Book for Girlz: A Book on Healthy Sexuality

Top 10 Questions We Had about Sex...

Questions and answers compiled from the Arcade Down & Dirty discussion group facilitated by Jessica Harrod and Bridget Sinclair, Youth Services Workers, St. Stephen's Community House

In no particular order...

1) Does sex hurt, and if so, why?

Sex for girls, especially the first time, can be painful and there are a few reasons for this. If you are nervous about having sex for the first time, getting caught, etc., your muscles may tense up, resulting in your vagina being very tight. This will make it difficult for the penis to enter, and it will be uncomfortable. Also, the vagina needs lubrication for sex to be comfortable. If you are not lubricated, sex can cause friction, which is painful or irritating. SO lube up ladies! (See next question for info on lubes.)

Finally, women have this lovely little layer of tissue called the hymen that sometimes covers the vaginal opening. When the hymen is torn, it can sometimes be painful, and even bleed a little bit. The hymen can also be torn by riding a horse, inserting a tampon, masturbating ... anything really.

2) How can I make sex more pleasurable?

Firstly, most people agree that having sex with someone you care about, respect and feel respected by, and are turned are on by can really help to make sex more enjoyable.

Also, masturbating and finding out what you like is totally important to helping your partner pleasure you! Don't be afraid to tell your partner what you like and don't like ... it's sexy, so lend a helping hand!

Before you have sex, try having lots of foreplay. Make out, touch each other, get your partner to eat you out, or masturbate. This will help you relax, make you wetter and bring you closer to achieving an orgasm. While having sex, don't forget about the clit! Find a position where it's easy for your partner to touch your clit during sex (like woman on top). Most girls orgasm from clitoral stimulation, not vaginal penetration! It's all about experimentation; everyone's different, and exploring what makes you feel good with your partner and on your own is tons of fun!

Another helpful tip for girls is to USE LUBE when you are having sex. If you are using a latex condom, make sure you use water-based lube, cuz oil-based lube can make the condom break.

3) What and where are the clitoris and the G-spot?

The clitoris is a sexual organ and the only part of the human body designed purely for pleasure! So here are some quick directions on how to find it: where the lips of your vagina meet at the top (the end furthest from your bum) there's a small fold of skin, and hiding underneath is the clit. As you get aroused, the clit will swell with blood .... it's kinda like a girl's version of an erection.

The G-spot is a bit more complicated; in fact, it'll probably take a while to master it on your own, let alone with a partner. The G-spot is a mass of nerve tissue inside the vagina. Slowly insert one or two lubricated fingers into the vagina, and using your index finger, make a "come here" motion with your fingers. Some women find this incredibly exciting, but some are indifferent or don't like it at all.

SO there ya go! Find a private place where you and your partner can find your clit and G-spot together, and have fun!

4) How do you put on a condom?

• Here are a few quick easy steps on how to put on a condom!

• Store your condoms in a cool, dry place.