Alice in Wonderland

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Sneaking back in wasn't so bad. Josh knew how to lock everything back up and make it look like we never left. We've only been gone an hour, but I have to start getting ready for school. I don't feel as tired as I expect, but maybe I haven't been up long enough to feel the effects. I miss being on a schedule and never feeling this off-balance.

Josh doesn't say anything after he disappears behind a door and I'm left by myself as I return to my room. I know I should feel scared, maybe anxious, but I don't feel anything. I broke so many rules and put myself in danger numerous times, but nothing happened. I'm fine, I'm breathing, I'm not hurt. Why am I so scared if nothing's happening to me?

I don't eat most of my breakfast because I'm still full from the food I made early this morning and I can tell it upsets Mrs. Sharpe. I want to explain that I have eaten and she shouldn't worry about me, but I remember my promise to Josh.

"I have practice after school today, Mom," Kyle reminds Mrs. Sharpe, standing up and kissing her on her head.

"Alright, honey. When's your next game?"

"Friday night."

"Alright, maybe this time I can get everyone there on time," she chuckles, taking a sip of her coffee. "Lily, maybe you'll be up to going?"

Several sets of eyes land on me and I shift in my seat, feeling the twisting in my gut begin. I would love to be a part of something so special, so normal, but the thought of crowds of people, bumping into me and screaming and cheering scares me. "Maybe."

She nods her head and stands up quickly to help one of the younger kids clean up a drink they spilled. I see the older boys leaving out of the corner of my eye and stand up to follow them. I grab my backpack hanging on the back my chair and follow them out, pulling my mask out of my back pocket. I have another doctor's appointment this week and I'm hoping they'll tell me I don't have to wear this mask every time I leave the house.

I sit in my regular seat beside Josh, but I don't look at him because I don't know what to feel about this morning. I really wish I just stayed in bed.

"Glad to see my car's still in one piece," Tyler remarks casually, backing up out of the garage. I think back to all the curbs Josh hit and sharp turns he made, but keep them to myself.

"Told you it would be fine," Josh mumbles. I want to see his reaction, but I don't want to risk looking at him.

"If mom catches you driving again-"

"I don't need a third parent, thanks."

This time I do glance at Josh because he left out the part where he was told not to drive. He catches me staring and smirks, shaking his head a little like he doesn't want me to say anything. I'm starting to wish I didn't sneak out with him last night. He must be trouble.

I turn back to the seat in front of me, staring at the slick, black leather seat. I can feel the waves of anxiety coming. I should not have left the house this morning.

"I'm not lecturing you, but if my ass gets busted because of you-"

"Mom and dad didn't even notice, okay?"

The bickering turns into silence and I relax in my seat, trying to calm myself down before I make it to the worst part of my day. The last thing I want is to get in trouble, too.

"Lily, did my mom tell you about your appointment?"

I look up at the side of Tyler's head as he watches the road and try to think about Mrs. Sharpe mentioning any appointments, but the only thing we talked about at breakfast was school. "No. For what?"