Alice in Wonderland

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

For the first time in several days, I see Josh on the car ride to school Monday morning. I was worried that something had happened to him, but when I mentioned it, he just shrugged it off and said he had a rough weekend. I didn't understand what he meant, but I assume it wasn't good, so I didn't question it.

He had walked me to my class and I realized I had actually missed being around him. He makes me smile a lot and he makes me feel like there's nothing I can't handle. So when it came time for lunch, at first I thought I could handle it and would get through the block without any issues, but that wasn't the case.

I stand a few feet from the entrance to the cafeteria, glancing around to grasp a familiar face, but there are too many and they're all moving too fast. I can't even find an open seat or empty table where I can sit until the bell rings.

My anxiety is starting to blossom and I know I can probably run out of here and back to my class, but I don't want my classmates to see me in the middle of a breakdown. They leave me alone and let me be, I don't want to give them a reason to begin making fun of me.

I hesitantly slide Josh's bulky headphones over my ears. He had given them to me this morning when I asked him if they help block out noises. He laughed and shrugged, saying 'if you play something loud enough'.

He somehow put music on my phone and showed me how to access it, but I wasn't really interested. Now, however, it feels like this might save my life.

I turn on a song that doesn't seem as vulgar and loud as the music he usually plays, but I know I won't find anything I enjoy on here. He laughed for a very long time when I told him my favorite song and he searched it on his phone and asked 'where are the words?'.

The music drowns out the loud noises right away and when I close my eyes, I feel like I'm not here. I'm somewhere else, not trapped in this cafeteria with kids who think I'm crazy. When I open my eyes, I search again for a familiar face, but all I see is wandering blurs and narrowed gazes staring back at me. At least now I can't hear what they have to say.

I don't know how long I'm standing there, but I know it's too long. People are starting to get suspicious and I can see more and more people turning to look and my stomach begins to churn.

Someone appears in front of me and as I pull down Josh's headphones and stumble to turn the music off, I realize I recognize the blond girl.

"Hey, Lily," Tracy grins, arm cocked on her hip with a pink purse hanging on her other. "Lost?"

I shake my head lightly, keeping my head down as two guys walk by and stare far too long at me. "No."

"Oh," she frowns, thinking something over, but deciding not to say it. "Well, Ty and Kyle don't have this lunch if that's who you're looking for. You can sit with me, though."

I have a bad feeling about her invitation, especially since she referred to her friends as the 'bitch squad' and Tyler told her she's a part of it. Clearly, they're not nice people and if what she was doing with Noah was any indication, she doesn't care about other people's feelings.

She loops her arm through mine, making my heart race from the sudden physical contact and I want to hurl, even with nothing in my stomach. Why did I even come up here if I knew I wasn't going to eat?

Tracy stops at a table of all girls and I try to hide my surprise when they all look alarmingly similar. It takes me a moment to realize they aren't related and just happen to share far too many similar features. Why would you want to look like anyone else? This is terrifying.