Alice in Wonderland

Chapter 11

A/N 

Hey, guys! Quick author's note. I just wanted to explain something about my writing in this novel. I know a lot of what Lily believes isn't what most people believe, but I did that with intention. I wanted to show that her parents taught her these concepts and ideas with the intention of causing her to be fearful of them. They used this fear that they created, to control her.

I hope that doesn't give anything away, but I wanted to make that clear. It's really hard to see what her parents did wrong at this point in the story because she is still under their control (mentally). Hopefully, my writing will do what it's supposed to and you'll understand more in the future chapters. The last thing I want to do is confuse you guys! I want you to understand and enjoy the story!

If something is ever unclear or doesn't make sense, don't be afraid to ask me. I will do my best to answer them without giving anything away. Again, by the end of the book everything should make sense. You should be able to see Lily's mindset changing over the chapters.

Love you all!

Chapter 11

I'm surprised to see Josh leaning on a set of lockers when I leave my class at the end of the day. Lately I've been leaving school on my own, mostly because Josh forgets me. I thought I was making decent progress, but maybe they don't trust me after my breakdown today. I assume he's heard about it if he's here.

"Hi, Josh," I mumble as he looks up from his phone when I approach.

"What's up?" he asks, beginning to walk towards the staircase. He doesn't seem to be aware of my bad day, but I don't really know if Josh would be the type to talk about feelings. He's very private and doesn't take many things seriously.

"Nothing much," I sigh. I wish nothing was going on right now. I'm angry at myself for ever wanting anything more than the life I had. I miss the simple days where all I had to worry about was school work and chores. Now I have bullies, the news, my parents and my physical and mental health to worry about. Life is so overrated.

He glances at me for some reason, but doesn't say anything as we continue to walk towards the parking lot. I want to reach out and hold his arm or his hand for some sense of comfort, but I don't think Josh would appreciate that. If Tyler were here I know he would let me hold him so I wouldn't feel so alone.

I slide Josh's headphones off and hand them to him as we exit the school. "Thank you, Josh. They helped."

"Keep them," he shrugs. "I've got more."

I'm surprised by this gesture because they're very expensive looking and he's worn them every day since I first met him. I put them back around my neck and glance around at the mostly empty parking lot. It's cloudy today and looks like it might rain, so I don't need to wear my sunglasses. I appreciate being able to look around without feeling like I'm going blind. Besides, my head hurts enough from all the crying.

I don't want to see Tyler or Kyle after what happened at lunch, but I know I have to. Maybe they'll leave me alone until tomorrow when the day is over and I can forget this ever happened. I don't want to hold grudges, but I think it's best I don't talk to Tracy anymore. She clearly doesn't like me for some reason and I'll just stay out of her way until I can go home.

When I climb in the back seat, I hear the end of an argument between Kyle and Tyler. I don't know why they argue so much, but I also don't know what it's like to have a sibling. Or seven, for that matter.

"Why do you care who I see?" Kyle sighs, shaking his head as I close my door. I really don't want to listen to them argue the whole way home.

"I wouldn't care if you dated respectable girls, but no, you're fucking the female version of lucifer."