Alice in Wonderland

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

When Friday rolls around, I expect my high to fade, but it doesn't. I still feel happy and confident that I can conquer anything. I'm not going out of my way to talk to strangers or run off on my own, but I smile and hang out with the boys more. Tyler had even taken us for ice cream yesterday -us and the twins since the older boys didn't want to- and they blasted music in the car and we all sang along. I didn't know the words, but I picked up on the chorus and laughed at their lame dance moves in the car. I wasn't scared about getting in a car crash or the music hurting my ears. I was happy and laughing and singing. It was amazing.

I find myself thinking back to these moments a lot, no matter how insignificant they seem. I don't think about my parents a lot or what's going to happen to me. It's like I turned the off button on my brain for a while.

I wave good-bye to Mrs. T as I leave the classroom. In a group session, I was able to open up about how much I was enjoying the little things, like playing tag or getting ice cream. I know it's childish, the looks my classmates gave me were alarming, but my teachers seem proud that I'm finding activities I enjoy.

Part of me wonders if this is normal. Maybe I'm just trying to make up for lost time by doing kid things, but I remember Tyler chasing after me and singing in the car and reassure myself that this is just normal fun. I don't need to go to parties or do drugs to have fun like other kids my age.

I stop at the restroom as I make my way out of the building. Our breaks are usually in between classes -since our class doesn't switch- but I'm usually too anxious to go with my class because the hallways are so crowded. Now, there's no one in the halls.

The last time I was in this bathroom I had a breakdown over a stupid confrontation. Now, I feel like I could handle the situation better and maybe even be friends with Tracy. It's weird to think my only friends are boys and they are all related.

I leave the bathroom stall and as I walk towards the sinks, a figure comes into view. She pushes off the bathroom door and saunters over to me, looking extremely displeased. "Hey, Lily."

I'm shocked that's all Tracy has to say since she looks like she wants to hurt me, but when she sees my fear, she smiles kindly. I thought she would have been mad at me because I thought her and Kyle broke up. He wasn't in school yesterday and this morning he looked really upset. Even Tyler wasn't talking to him, which was shocking since they always bicker. Maybe Tyler didn't tell Kyle. Tracy seems to be fine, a little mad, but that's probably because she doesn't like me.

"Hi, Tracy," I stutter, moving to the sink to wash my hands. As I dry my hands, I take off my mask and shove it into my pocket, afraid she'll make fun of me for it. I still don't know if I can stop wearing them, even though I rarely do anymore. I do have a doctor's appointment coming up soon so hopefully I can find out then.

"Do you want to hang out?"

She must see how shocked I am at her invitation because she laughs. I think about all the reasons this is a bad idea, but I remember my goal for the week. Be friends with Tracy. "I-"

She must know of the obstacles in my way because she holds out a hand. "Let me see your phone."

I cautiously hand it to her, mostly because I don't have any attachment to it and still don't understand how to use it completely. She starts tapping on the screen really fast with her long, pink nails and after a few seconds, she holds up the phone in the air. As if she expected it, it begins ringing and I see Tyler's name on the screen.

"Ty is so annoying sometimes," she sighs, turning my phone off and shoving it in her pocket. I know I should ask what just happened, but she ushers me out of the bathroom and in the opposite direction of the parking lot. "We'll go to my house first."