Alice in Wonderland

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

My heart feels like it stops all together and I pull my arm against my chest when he lets go. I think about running, maybe to Kyle, maybe out of the mall, but the name stops me in my tracks. It feels like the ice cold water being thrown in my face again.

The man looks shocked to see me and I imagine I probably look the same. He keeps staring at me like I'm not real, like I'm an alien or something. He looks like he might be upset by this encounter, but I don't know what I did that could have upset him.

"I-I'm sorry," the guy apologizes and I begin to think this was a mistake. Maybe I just so happen to look like an Alice, which happens to be my real name. "I know I shouldn't have stopped you. But I just needed to see you."

I don't know what to say and he must know I'm confused and scared because he offers a reassuring smile. I'm not reassured. "My name is Silas. I'm your brother."

He acts like I should know this, as if the thought of me even possibly having a sibling ever crossed my mind. I stare at this strange man, now seeing the similarities in our features with his blonde hair and blue eyes. I begin to feel sick to my stomach and lean forward, hoping I don't vomit all over the hallway floor.

"Are you okay?" he asks, stepping forward to grab me, but I stand up straight and take a step back. This can't be happening. I thought it was all over. "Fuck. I thought they told you."

I don't understand who he's talking about or how he knows anything about me. I want this all to be a dream. Or a mistake. This guy just saw me on the news and is messing with me. Kyle told me people have been trying to get to me because of the news, but I had no idea what he was talking about. Maybe this is it.

"I'm sorry, Alice- I mean, Lily. I thought they said something to you. I've been trying to meet you for weeks, but they kept telling me it wasn't the right time." He keeps talking, apologizing for things I don't understand. I just want him to leave me alone. I just want him to take it all back so I can go back to getting over this. I don't want there to be more damage.

He looks close to tears now and I want to laugh because I probably look the same way since we're supposedly related and I feel like bursting into tears, too. This probably isn't how he expected me to react.

"I don't have a brother," I choke out, putting my hand flat against my chest as if that will make it stop beating so fast. I need to sit down.

"I know this is a lot for you," he says, running a hand through his hair helplessly. "Maybe we should sit down and talk about this."

I think about it, I really do, but my head is spinning and I still feel like throwing up. I want to know everything, like why he hasn't contacted me, why no one told me about him, why he randomly stopped me now. Why, why, why. Why me?!

I turn quickly, speed walking away from this man who has gone from a stranger to my brother in about five seconds. The idea of it doesn't even seem possible. That I have a sibling, a brother, born a few years before me. Was he at the hospital with my parents when I was taken? Or was he at home, waiting excitedly to meet his baby sister for the first time?

The thought makes tears spring to my eyes and I feel the pain of my parents betrayal all over again. When I step into the pizzeria, Kyle glances towards me and jumps to his feet when he sees my expression.

"What happened?" he asks as I wrap myself around him, finally beginning to cry. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to shed another tear because of my parents again, but they've managed to create even more damage without even doing anything.