Don't Leave Me ••• Yoonmin Mpreg

Eleven

Jimin-
There's a knock at the door. Jihoon looks at me with a confused look. Everyone that visits never knock. Tae and Jungkook bath know the password. The Kim family always rings the bell, or at least Minho does. Jihoon starts walking over to the door. My dad always calls first. Jisso and Jennie don't have my apartment number. Yugyeom would call, so would Jackson and Mark. I can't think of anyone else it could be.
I quickly get up and stop Jihoon from opening the door. I look in the peephole and see Yoongi standing there, looking a round. I lean my head against the door and let out a sigh. I open it slowly. His eyes lighten when he sees me.
"Morning," He says.
"It's almost five in the afternoon," I say.
"Then good evening," he says. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over? Hoseok is over, I'm sure Holly would love to see you."
My heart lifts. I haven't seen Hoseok since Tae and Kookie's wedding. I haven't seen Holly since I left.
"Who's Holly?" Jihoon asks. "Is that your girlfriend?"
Yoongi laughs. He crouched down to be my sons eye level. "That's my doggie. Do you like doggies?"
Jihoon nods. "Daddy, please! I wanna see the doggie!"
I sigh. "Fine." I look at Yoongi. "Only for a little bit."
Jihoon squeals and hops three feet to Yoongi's door. Yoongi opens the door for us. Jihoon wonders inside. "Daddy, it's like ours. But it's switched!"
I look around the well decorated house. "I'm assuming Jin helped you. And not Hoseok?"
"Yah!" Hoseok comes into the kitchen where we're standing. "I have the best fucking decor!"
Jihoon gets startled by the stranger. He runs back to me. I look at Hoseok. "Hyung, no cussing," I scold.
His eyes widen. "Do I spy a little baby?"
Jihoon hugs my legs. "I'm big boy. No baby."
I pick him up. "Jihoon, say hi to Hoseok. He's daddy's old friend from a long time ago."
Jihoon looks at Hoseok. He giggles. "I seen you. At Minho's house! You were ina picture!"
Hoseok smiles. "Why am I the last one to meet him? I love him." He holds out his arms. Jihoon moves to be held by him. He starts playing with his hair. He gasps. "Is that the doggie?" He points at Holly who's sleeping on the floor.
"Yup," Yoongi says. "I need to get him groomed. His fur is getting long."
"Holly," I call."
The dog lifts his head and looks at me. He gets up and walks over to me. I scrunch up my nose when he starts licking my face. "I know, I missed you too," I say. Jihoon wiggles out of Hoseok's arms and runs over to us. He pets Holly's head.
"Yoonny, can we have the dog?" He asks.
Yoongi chuckles. "If you took Holly, who would I have to live with?"
"Hm, us? You could come live with us. We could all share a room. Like sleep over!"
Hoseok laughs. "Can I come too? I want to see that sleep over!" Jihoon agrees enthusiastically. He walks to the couch and calls Holly. The tv is playing Finding Nemo. He becomes engulfed into the tv.
Hoseok looks at me. "How old is he?"
"Four."
"Why didn't Taehyung or Jungkook mention him?"
"I asked them not to," I say. "I don't know how you didn't notice. They have pictures of him everywhere in their house."
"Why didn't you want me to know?" Hoseok asks.
"Because he didn't want me to know," Yoongi says. "If you knew, you'd tell me. Accident or on purpose."
"I'm sorry," I say to both of them. "It's just... it's hard." I look at Yoongi. "I don't want... I can't let myself have my guard down again."
Hoseok looks at Yoongi who is looking at his hands. "Because of me?"
"Yeah."
"Jimin, I'm sorry. I wish you could've given me a second chance. I was drunk and stupid," Yoongi says. Hoseok slowly walks into the living room and sits next to Jihoon.
"You hit me," I say. "I forgot all about you making out with that girl. I forgot you screaming, and killing me with every word. All I care about is that you hit me. It gave me such bad flashbacks."
Yoongi cover his face. "I know. I hate myself so much for that. I just want a second chance."
I shake my head. "I don't think I can do that."
He lets out a sob. "I miss you. I can hear your struggle through the walls. You cry a lot. Jihoon is too much for one person to handle. I sit against the wall and hope you can feel me wanting to help you. I know it's stupid but I want you not to cry. I love you too much to hear it."
I frown. "Don't say that again. Never, you don't know me anymore. How can you love someone you don't know?"
"Because I never stopped."
I didn't either, I want to say. I want to hold him in my arms and kiss him. I want to let my guard down and give him a second chance. I'm too scared. What if it doesn't work out? I can't go through that pain again. What if I actually kill myself that time? What if he leaves? It'd hurt Jihoon too. Even though I want him so badly, I can't let myself.
"Daddy, can I go get Kiki?" Jihoon asks.
"I'll get him. Is he in our room?" I ask. Jihoon nods. I avoid Yoongi's eyes and go back to my apartment. I find the stuffed animal on the bed and go back to Yoongi's. Hoseok stopped me at my door. "Uh, Hey."
"Yoongi doesn't know does he?" He asks. I look at him confused. He sighs. "He doesn't know Jihoon is his? It's so obvious!"
"Hoseok, shut up," I say. I put my hand over his mouth. "Be quiet. Yes, he doesn't know. I don't want him to know. It's give him more reasons to try to be in my life. I can't have that."
Hoseok frowns. "Why not? You guys are perfect for each other."
I groan. "Do you not remember why we broke up? We can't be together. I'm not allowing it."
"I can't hide this from him. He deserves to know!"
"Do it, and neither of you will see Jihoon and I ever again. Got it?"
Hoseok glares at me. "You aren't the Park Jimin I remember. He was cute and lovely. He would always do what's best for the people around him. I'd be fine with not seeing this Park Jimin again," Hoseok huffs and walks back to Yoongi's apartment.
I follows. My heart flips when I sees Jihoon sitting on Yoongi's lap playing with his hair. "Baby, I got Kiki?" I say.
Jihoon looks at me excitedly. "Bring him here. I want to show Yoongi!"
I smile and hand him his toy. He starts explaining Kiki's personality to Yoongi. He listens and smiles. He reacts the way Jihoon wants him too. He's be the perfect dad. Hoseok stares at them from across the room. I know he's glaring at me, I pay no mind to him.
After a few hours, it gets to Jihoon's bedtime. He complains about having to leave. He makes Yoongi promise to have a sleepover. Then he gives him a hug and kisses him goodnight. He hugs Hoseok and kisses his cheek. Hoseok pretends to not like it, making Jihoon kiss him again. I take his hand and take him to our house. I give him a quick bath.
"Daddy, Yoongi told me he loves you," Jihoon says, playing with bubbles. "Do you love him?"
I look at him in shock. "No baby, I can't love him."
He pouts. "Why? I think I want him to be like my Namjoon. Jin is mommy to Jiji and Minho. Namjoon is papa. You are my daddy. Yoongi can be my papa," he says.
I shake my head. "I'm sorry Jihoon. That's just never going to happen." I start draining the tub and pick him up out of the bubbles. I starts drying him off.
"Everyone at school had mommy and daddy. I want it too! It's not fair," Jihoon says.
"Please don't do this tonight. Daddy's tired," I beg.
He stomps on the floor. "I just wanna happy! Everyone has family! I want a big family!" He starts to cry.
My mind is blown from how a toddler could come up with these ideas. "We have a happy family. I love you, you don't need another parent."
"I want to be like others. They say you're bad because I don't have a mommy. They say you are sick because you don't like girls. Everyone is mean to us because I don't have a mommy and daddy," he cries.
I pull him to my chest. "I'm sorry," I cry. "I'm sorry I can't give you want you want. I want you to be happy, but I'm too scared."
Jihoon pushes me away. "I just want normal," he yells before running off to our bed.
I leans against the tub. I know the boys words shouldn't get to me. He's not serious, he just wants to fit in. Having a single gay dad isn't really a popular thing in Korea. I can't help but feel as if I failed. I'm not good enough. I cry for a few minutes for attempting to collect myself. I check on Jihoon who's asleep cuddling with Kiki.
There's a knock at the door. I look at the clock. It's nine, who's be at the door. I open it to see Yoongi. I wipe my eyes again. "Hey, can I do something for you?"
Yoongi tackles me in a hug. His arms around my waist, his head on my shoulder. I bury my face in his neck. I start to cry again.