Don't Leave Me ••• Yoonmin Mpreg

Thirtyfour

Jimin-
Everyone looks at me. No one can touch me. I've made that clear. When I woke up, Yoongi was holding my hand. I kept screaming at him, he finally let go, and I stopped. Today is the last day I'm in the hospital. The twins have to stay a little longer. I have to go home.
"Ready to go?" Yoongi asks.
I look at the door. I don't want to go back to that place. "Yes." I walk next to him. I see his hand almost come up to hold my hand. It falls back down to his side.
Jihoon is with Namjoon and Jin. They are bringing him after lunch. Yoongi guides me to his car. I struggle to get in the car. We start driving. "The doctor gave me prescriptions for you and Jihoon. We have to go get the medicine," he tells me.
"What is it?" I ask. "What type of medication?"
"For you it's a lot. Depression, anxiety, pills to help you sleep, some for pain, just more to help you not remember what happened. Some to help you not get scared. For Jihoon its mostly to keep him from getting paranoid, and remind him what happened."
"He's just a child," I say. "He shouldn't need medication."
Yoongi sighs. "I know. I'm sorry."
He stops the car. He leaves the heat on when he goes into the pharmacy to get the medications. He comes back and drives us home. I walk a head of him, keeping a distance. He goes in front of me when we get to the door. "We can stay at my apartment until we find a new one if it will help," he says. "You don't ever have to be in there again, Jimin."
He's sweet. "I'll be okay. All of my things are in there." He sighs and opens the door. He walks in and switches on the light. I follow behind. It looks as if no had been in here since that night. The coffee table is still out of place. My blood is still on the floor and couch. But the tv managed to be switched off.
Yoongi watches me. He doesn't say anything as if I'm a shattering glass, and I could break any moment. It's true. It's all built up inside of me. Ready for release. "I'm going to take a shower," I state.
"Okay. Do you want me to come in with you?"
"No!" I shout. "Please, don't come in."
He frowns. "I won't. Let me know if you need anything."
I turn away from him and go into my room. The bed is messy. This is where he hurt my baby. I swallow thickly and go to my dresser. I grabs. Fresh pair of clothes. I go into the bathroom. I turn on the shower, strip of my clothes, and climb in. I scrub my skin. The touch still linger after the week or two that passed. His bruises are on my hips and thighs. I have new scars that are from the c-section. I scratch at my scar on my thigh. It bleeds.
I get out of the shower. I find a razor in the cabinet. I draw three lines on both of my arms. I let them bleed for who knows long. It's not enough release. I clean them and dress myself. A sweater and pants. I go back out to the living room. Yoongi is next to the couch with cleaning supplies. He's trying to scrub the stain off.
He stop and looks at me. His eyes flick from my eyes to my sleeves. His Adam's apple bobs. "I figure you wouldn't want to see the stain. I know I don't. I was think we could use my furniture or buy new furniture when we get a new apartment," he says. "Unless you don't want me to move with you like we planned. I understand if you want to be alone for a bit."
He's sad. It's my fault he's sad. It's my fault everyone is sad. I couldn't help Jihoon. I couldn't even help myself. I nod. I don't know what I'm agreeing to. "I'm going to lay down," I cut through the tension. He nods.
I go to my bedroom. I lay opposite of where the blankets are messed up. I press my thumb over the zdeepest cut on my left arm. I'm not tired. I can't sleep knowing two feet away I failed as a parent.