Don't Leave Me ••• Yoonmin Mpreg

Thirtyfive

Yoongi-
It's been almost two weeks since Jimin was allowed to leave the hospital. The twins were at home with their very enthusiastic dads. Jin told me they're already asking for parenting advice on everything. I did too, considering I'm currently the only functioning parents of Jihoon.
Jimin has fallen into a routine. Get up, take a shower, eat lunch, sit on the couch, go to bed at six. I know he's not just showering. He's cutting himself. I find the dirty razors in the trash. It breaks my heart. I want to replace myself with him, I want to endure the pain instead of him. He barely talks, he rarely eats, he never smiles.
He's left the house twice. He ran out of razors and went to buy more. I threw them away. He bought more and hid them. He stopped allowing me to stay over. He doesn't like the lack of room between our bodies. Jihoon started sneaking out to my apartment, afraid to sleep with such an abscess of life.
Jihoon is very effected by Jimin's behavior. He tries extra to make him happy. He tip toes around him, afraid to upset him. He cries to me about how he's scared his dad is dead. When I finally told him his dad his alive in the room just next to ours he said, "No, Dad's souls left his body. He is missing it and will never be happy." Of course that made me cry because how would a five year old think something like that? He knows his dad is hurting, he blames it on himself just like everyone else does.
Jihoon sits on the floor. He stopped sitting on the couch because of what happened. I'm going to throw it out as soon as I can. Holly sits next to him. He reads to the dog, something Jimin would do with him. Jihoon laughs at the childish book. He laughs because Holly licked his face since he was laughing. At least we have his smile.
I go to the bedroom. I knock. A faint come in allows me to twist the door knob. "Hey Jimin," I say softly.
He sits up in his bed. He's noticeably thinner. "Hi."
"Taehyung and Jungkook are coming over with the twins today. Do you want to come out and see them?" I ask.
Jimin looks out the window. "Yeah."
I step into the room more. I sit on the bed. "Jihoon is very smart. He escaped through the window and come into my apartment. He then ran down to the parking garage and found me," I say. "He was praised by a lot of police. They said it's hard for children to think straight in times of panic, but Jihoon stayed calm because he didn't want to hurt you."
Jimin chokes on a sob. "He's so brave."
I smiles. "He gets it from you. You raised him all by yourself when you were so young. You provided for him, you kept him healthy. And you managed to make him a hero." I want to hold his hand. "He can only learn that from you."
He sniffs. "Is he okay? Is he happy?"
"He's doing okay. He's not happy. He feels your pain. More than I do, or than anyone does. He is too smart for his own good. He feels your pain and he pretends he can't."
Jimin starts crying. "I'm a bad dad," he brings his legs to his chest and buried his bed in his hands. "I wish I could take it all back. I wish I hadn't opened the door. I wish I wasn't so afraid. I wish I couldn't done something. Anything could've helped. Now everything is ruined."
"Baby, everything happens for a reason," I say. "It will make Jihoon stronger. He knows the evil, and that will help him. Nothing is your fault."
Jimin reaches out for me. I quickly pull him into my lap and into my arms. I wipe his eyes. "You are strong. Jihoon misses you. I know you're hurting. But I can't raise Jihoon on my own. I'm new to this dad stuff. I can barely wrap my head around that I managed to have a beautiful son with someone as amazing as you," I say. "He needs both of his dad's."
Jimin nods. "I'm sorry if don't tell you sooner. I wanted to do badly."
"Sh, that's okay," I say. "Things happen the way they add supposed to. Now let's go cuddle with our son. He misses you."
Jimin nods. I lift him up. His thin arms wrap around my neck, allowing me to carry him tot he living room. Jihoon and Holly sit up in interest. I sit on the couch, Jimin sits next to me. Jimin holds out his arms. Jihoon climbs onto his lap.
"I love you Buggie," Jimin says.
"I love you too," he says back. "I love you too Appa."
"And I love the two of you," I say. I kiss both of them.