falling☆ | daniel seavey

chapter thirty

ayla's pov

My heart beat grew faster and faster as I stared into my own dark blue-green eyes through the mirror. The ones I'd gotten from my mother. The person who killed my best friend. I watched my eyes turn a soft grey, but I didn't cry. I wouldn't let myself. "Ayla?" I heard Maya come in. I turned my head, walking back to the bed.

"Hey." She smiled, her eyes looked tired. I noticed cuts on her wrist. Her ombré hair in a messy ponytail, she covered her marks. "It was in the waiting room. I won't do it again." I nodded. Not feeling anything. "Ayla. I know you're not okay. And that's fine. But you gotta talk to me about it." Maya's cold hand reached for mine as I cooley moved it away. "I don't have to say or do anything, Maya." I snapped, not meaning to.

Who was this person I was becoming? It wasn't me, that's for sure.

"So, what do you wanna do when you get out?" She asked me, with some pep in her voice. Not letting a word sip from my tongue, I stared blankly at the television playing an episode of 'Friends' above me. She anxiously twiddled her thumbs. "Oh my gosh, this episode was awful. Ross and Rachel argue about that whole 'break' thing. Remember?" She was so enthusiastic about such small things. I missed being that way. I kept my stare at the TV. "Yeah. We were up arguing about it too, until like 3:00 am," she sighed, "I loved that night." Clicking her tongue, she quietly stepped out of the room.

I did remember that night. Maya and I were about 16. She stayed over for a weekend and all we did was watch Netflix. Carter was about 2 at the time. He wouldn't leave us alone. So we let him stay up with us. He'd scream and yell when we did and pretended to know what we were being angry about and giggled at our reactions. All up until he fell asleep in my arms. I carried him upstairs. Put him to bed.

That was a good night.

Maya and Jack both walked in, "Ayla, say hey to all your fans," Daniel whispered, putting his camera lens up on me. I gave them a quick smile, then ignored it. Daniel's smiled slowly disappeared. He posted it anyways. I couldn't see the brightness in his eyes anymore. "Zach said we should all go to the mall when we're all feeling.. better. It'll be a good way to just have a good time. Like the old days. You guys can sing. And meet fans.." She wanted to go on, but I interrupted her.

"Maya, not everything is fun and games anymore. Nothing will ever be the same. 2 people are dead. More die every day. How could we go out and have fun, when others are still trying to cope with what's going on in their lives? It's not all sunshine and rainbows for everyone you know. It can't just be that way." My voice cracked as I spoke those final words. Daniel's mouth stood ajar from his patient bed. He didn't make eye contact with me.

But Maya.. Her eyes were like burning flames as she stared at me, I wanted to apologize. But I didn't. Even though, I didn't mean most of what I said. I didn't know what to say now. Instead, I briefly scanned the needle in the crease of my elbow, leading to my monitor. The water dripping as seconds ticked by. Without thinking, I ripped it out, causing my arm to begin bleeding. I let out a painful yelp. Daniel shot straight up from his bed, "What the fuck, Ayla?!" He started calling nurses by clicking numbers on the way as Maya screamed. "Ayla! What are you doing?!" Corbyn quickly ran out and went to get a doctor, I realized I had pulled it out too forcefully. Then the machine started beeping faster, and faster. Everything soon went dark.

a week later..

"We are gathered here today, to celebrate the life of Carter Ray Santos...."

Slow motion. Everything was in slow motion. The crying faces passing by, the boys and Christina and Maya, standing behind us, along with their parents and siblings. My face was straight the whole time. We didn't want to talk at his funeral. He wouldn't want us to talk about him. We'll save that for next year. Hours passed. It seemed like centuries, I just wanted to get out of that place and go home and never come out. People talked about my hospital incident.