Save Me ; Yoonmin ✅

4

(( Jimin's pov ))

We were on our way to practice again. We had dance practise every day until the concerts start again, which was in a little more than a week. We were all very excited about the tour starting again, and we were working hard so we could show our fans the best.

We all slowly entered the building and me and yoongi walked a bit behind the rest. While he held the door open for me to enter he stopped me. My eyes widened a bit at the sudden touch of Yoongi's hand on my chest.

"Jimin, are you still feeling sick? You look pale." He sounded concerned. I forced out a small smile.

"I'm just tired, it's fine." Yoongi stared into my eyes for a few seconds. I felt butterflies in my stomach.

"If you start to feel unwell tell me okay? We can't have you being sick at the concerts." He gave me a small sincere smile. I nodded. He put his arm over my shoulder as a sign to continue to walk in the studio.

Everyone was already warming up when we walked in and we joined them. We had quite a long practice today where we did the first half of the show and all the choreo's. At the end of the practice my head was pounding and I sat down at the side of the room and drank some water. I think Namjoon could sense I didn't feel well because he walked over.

"Hey Chim, you look very bad. Did you have lunch?" I froze. I decided to just be honest since he probably saw that I didn't eat during our lunch break. I shook my head and looked down.

"Don't worry, we're getting dinner at that Mexican place close to our apartment, you should eat well." He said and ended with a sweet smile. I nodded and smiled back while panicking inside. But that panic didn't get to last long because Jungkook interrupted my thoughts.

"Guys let's make a selfie!" He yelled enthusiastically. I stood up to join in the selfie and got dizzy for a few seconds before heading over to the rest. I decided to lean on Yoongi's shoulder with my arms. Partly because it would look nice in the picture, partly because my legs started to feel weak.

After the picture was posted on our twitter, we went to the restaurant. Namjoon had just ordered tacos for everyone and we sat at the table. I was lost in thought until I felt a hand on my left knee. I shot my head to the left to be greeted by Yoongi's eyes.

"You should go to sleep early tonight, you look tired." I just nodded in response. The food was brought to our table and to my relieve I saw that the portions weren't that big. I took a bite and then stopped eating for a bit. I was hoping no one noticed but saw Hoseok looking in my direction suspiciously. I decided to just eat it. After all, I already skipped breakfast and lunch. After I finished it I actually felt pretty good. My headache was fading and the empty feeling in my stomach was gone.

We paid and went back to our apartment which was only a street away from the restaurant. I told the boys that I was headed to bed. Even though it was still quite early they all agreed on it since I looked pretty tired.

Once I got into my room I changed in some comfortable clothes and sat on my bed. I always check my phone before sleeping, especially since I can't fall asleep straight away this early. I opened twitter to save the picture of today on my phone. I looked at the picture and zoomed in on me and Yoongi. We look pretty cute together, but we would never be together.

Because you're fat and ugly

I gulped as my thoughts went dark again. I also didn't understand why my hand started scrolling through comments because I know it will only make it worse. And there they were again. Negative comments about me, hundreds of them. They were all about me. I read through some and tears started rolling down my cheeks.

I ran to the bathroom and sat down, still crying softly. They are all right. I am ugly, I am worthless. I hate myself. I stood up and walked over to the cabinets while I stared feeling angry at myself. Why would I eat? I know how bad I look, and I still ruin it. I quickly grabbed the razor out and slashed the skin on my arms several times. I quickly threw the razor back in the drawer once I saw what I had done. The cuts were deeper than the last time and blood slowly got out. 

***