Save Me ; Yoonmin ✅

20

((Yoongi's pov))

It was the day of the first concert in Japan. This one would take place in an arena in Tokyo and was completely sold out. It felt amazing that so many people would want to come to our concert to see us.

We were sitting in a small lounge in the backstage area before practising since the crew was still working on the stage. I slowly sipped from my hot coffee to wake me up a bit more.

Jimin was asleep on my side, me holding my arm around him. He was so tired all the time, it was sad to see. I knew he had trouble sleeping last night, as he went to sit with the window in the middle of the night for a while. I didn't bother him since he probably needed some alone time.

I looked over at him sleeping on me. He looked peaceful, as if nothing bothered him. I softly rubbed his shoulder with the arm I had around him and he snuggled closer. I kept staring at his pale but pretty face until I felt someone sit down on the other side of me.

I turned my head and saw Hoseok looking distressed. I raised my eyebrows at him, motioning for him to talk.

"Did you know... about this...?" He whispered nodding his head in the direction of Jimin's arm. I looked down at my lap and nodded slightly. I felt guilty for not telling him or Namjoon. But I didn't want to do Jimin wrong either.

"You should tell us these things, Yoongs." Hoseok whispered in a sad tone. "We should tell."

My head shot up. That would make everything so real. I mean, it is real, very real, but it would make everything so much more serious. I knew we should do it, for Jimin's sake, but it also feels as if I don't trust him to be able to do this himself, as if I'm betraying him.

I know we should've told a long time ago, but something in me tried to postpone it as much as possible. I felt like I could fix him. Haha, what a fucking joke. What was I thinking, that I could do this? I'm a terrible boyfriend either way.

"I guess..." I sighed. Hoseok nodded and then motioned for Namjoon to join. He walked over and kneeled in front of us. I just kept quiet and looked at Jimin. My beautiful boy, I can't believe I'm doing this to him. I knew it was for the best, why did I feel so bad about this?

I guess I am scared of breaking his trust. What if he never trusts me again? What if he breaks up with me?

Apparently Hoseok had already discussed what happened with Namjoon, but I was too lost in thoughts.

"You okay Yoongs?" Namjoon asked, which took me out of my thoughts. I didn't even bother faking a smile or changing my expression.

"I'm fine." I said, lying. I looked back over at Jimin and I caressed his hair. I bit my lip. I know Jimin is the one struggling, but it was also so hard on me. To see him cry already upset me, but knowing how low he thinks of himself, and him hurting and starving himself over it actually broke my heart.

I kept telling myself it would be okay, but what if it isn't? What if one day he accidentally cuts too deep? What if he decides to stop eating entirely and actually starves? What if he decides he's had enough and does something bad to himself?

It was hard to keep it all together all the time, there have been so many times I wanted to break down and cry, but I had to stay strong for him. Only one time I snapped, and I regret it so much. It was when I caught him throw up that one time, when instead of being there for him I got mad, ran off and just cried. I can't let that happen again. I need to be there for him.

"Don't lie." Namjoon said, seeing that I was deep in thought. I gulped and looked up trying to hide my tears. I hated crying. Especially in front of others. After taking a deep breath I continued.