Toxic (H.S.)

29

Marlene

When I was a little girl I wanted to be an actress, my mom on the other had told me that famous actresses turn into coke heads and whores. She told me I should go to school, find a husband and dedicate my life to god, and family. She'd tell me a lot of bull shit, that up until I turned fifteen years old, believed in.

I believed that when you had sex, you'd bleed so much that it would look like a crime scene. I quite enjoyed sex the first time, not a drop of blood. She'd say weed would fry my brain, yet I had pretty good grades all of my years in college.

There were things she taught me that I still take with me until today, I was kind to everyone. She'd tell me that the worst people needed the most love and patience. I really wish she'd listen to her own advice.

As Emily sat across from me on a park bench, I realized that her father was a lot like my mother. No, he wasn't religious and told her constantly she was going to hell, but he did beat the hell out of her. "He did this to you?" A part of me wanted to rub it in her face; tell her that it's what she deserves for abusing Harry.

I just couldn't do it.

"I told him to leave you guys alone and he beat me, saying I was ungrateful and a bad mother- as if I didn't already know that." I stared at the marks on her arms and neck; they were shaped like hands. "You know why I would hit Harry?" I shook my head. "Because for once, I was in control." She looked down shaking her head. "You guys don't need to worry about him, he's given up on taking the baby."

"What was his problem anyway?" She laughed shaking her head.

"I know you think I'm crazy because of my mum but I get all the crazy gene from my father. I've been asking what his problem is my entire life." She sniffled. "You won't have to worry about either of us anymore."

I didn't like the tone of her voice so I quickly shook my head. "What's that supposed to mean?" She sighed.

"Nothing, forget it." She wiped her other eye that wasn't swollen shut. "How's the baby?"

"Oliver." I corrected.

"Yeah Oliver, how is he?" I smiled.

"Good, he's healthy and likes to climb. His hair is still blonde." She didn't smile, just seemed deep in thought. I knew deep down in her cold heart, Emily wasn't the terrible person she seemed to be. I'm sure this was her way of coping through physical abuse. "I'm sure if you got clean, Harry would let you see him."

She turned to me. "Would you let me see him, you're his mother." For some reason, I felt tears weld in my eyes, for once Emily was being selfless and doing what's best. It felt odd that she carried him for nine months and could feel no attachment to Oliver.

"Yes, I would if you were clean." She scratched at her arms and nodded. "These drugs are destroying you, you were clean once and you can do it again." She scoffed.

"Good to know, I have to leave." She stood up and I did the same giving up to head back home. Harry is probably worried sick by now. "Marlene?" She called after me so I turned. "Promise me you'll look after Oliver no matter what happens between you and Harry, he needs a mother; someone who will always protect him." I simply nodded watching as she walked away back to her car.

I walked back home and saw Harry talking to a neighbor when he noticed me. "Jesus Christ, thank you, Steve." He waved to the neighbor and ran over to me. "Are you okay?" I nodded but he seemed worried.

"I'll explain inside." He nodded walking with me back into the house.

*

Harry looked down at my ring and gently held my hand as he played with it. There was a small spark in his eye and a smile as he pulled my hand up to kiss it. I explained the conversation with Emily and how her father wouldn't try to bother us anymore.