Dreamer

Chapter Twenty-one: Love Will Tear Us Apart

All my failings exposed, gets a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold.
Why is it something so good
Just can't function no more?

“Come on, Desirée… say something. Tell me what’s wrong. I… we want to help you,”

My vision may have been clouded, but Melody’s troubled tones didn’t fail to reach my ears. Her embrace had held me comfortingly for several minutes. I sullenly lifted my head and rubbed my increasingly irritated eyes. I took in my surroundings with faint interest. We were in Nathaniel’s office in the Student Council room. I didn’t quite remember how I ended up there…

Ah yes, after Nathaniel shooed away what was left of the gawking onlookers, he and Melody had somehow coerced me into walking the short distance to his office for some privacy, I suppose. It didn’t matter at that point anyway. People had been there and seen what had transpired—the news had probably spread quicker than the Plague.

If there was one thing a person couldn’t count on in high school, it was privacy. It didn’t matter who you were, everyone wanted a piece of you. Though, I guess that was the truth in the real world as well. People were always so obsessed with others’ lives and flaws, possibly in an attempt to ignore their own insecurities for a while. It’s stupid, I thought, but it’s human nature, isn’t it?

I tried so hard to be invisible and almost nonexistent. I had just wanted to wander around unnoticed. Complete my goal, and be on my way. Few interactions, no complications.

What had I done instead?

I put myself in humiliating situations, made enemies, formed strong friendships… and worst yet, fallen in love.

All I wanted was to finish high school, right?

There were several other options, but I chose this one. Maybe I had wanted something else too… the companionship that all youth wanted to be a part of. Perhaps I had lost most of what little youth I had, but there was still something that lingered.

I slowly pulled myself away from Melody’s grip and wiped away what was left of the tears. What I shameful show I had put on for them. So much for feigning strength.

I blinked a few times and looked ahead. Sapphire and gold stared back. Concern and worry creased their features. The way they looked at me made me want to cry all over again. They were like the perfect mother and father—or what I assumed would be perfect. I had little to go by.

“Desirée… what exactly happened?” Nathaniel asked calmly. Always unfazed. Almost.

Nathaniel… perhaps he’d be a little less fatherly when he heard what I said about his. I had a knack for ruining things, it seemed. His eyes searched mine, pleading for answers.

Melody took hold of my hand comfortingly. “Just calm down and speak when you’re ready.” I felt a pang of
guilt course through me. Poor Melody. She cared so much, and what kind of friend had I been to her? Just a deceitful one.

“It’s just…” I trailed off, my voice hoarse. I tried clearing my throat and shifted my position slightly. Big mistake. I winced as a throbbing pain emanated throughout my back. Nothing seemed to have been broken, but there was definitely bruising going on there. I was uncomfortable to sit…

Actually, why was I sitting—or rather curled up—on the floor? We were in an office and there were several chairs around. All the same, Nathaniel and Melody were crouched by my side.

“It’s… It’s… I don’t know!” I cried, feeling a fresh batch of tears forming in my eyes. I covered my face with my hands. What was wrong with me? I couldn’t understand all the waterworks. Much worse things have happened –perhaps all those years of holding them in had taken their toll on me. From this experience, I learned that problems do not go away by ignoring them. Instead, they build up until one day you find yourself bawling on the floor at school.