Dreamer

Chapter Twenty-Three: Breakfast At Tiffany's

You'll say the world has come between us

Our lives have come between us

But I know you just don't care

Truth. A small, one-syllable word that meant so much. It is something all people seek, no matter how much they fear it. And yet, it appears that something so seemingly simple is so difficult to reveal.

I wanted to tell Castiel everything. From beginning to end. Start to finish. But I couldn’t get the words to form. How did one say such a thing, anyway? I knew that I couldn’t keep doing this to him. To myself. Us. I wanted to be with Castiel. Lying to him any longer was not an option.

“Just tell me what’s going on… I won’t judge you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

‘Are you sure about that?’ I bit my lip nervously. “What do you mean ‘what’s going on’? I don’t know how to answer that. The one who has been acting differently lately is you, Castiel.” I wasn’t trying to evade the truth—really, I wasn’t! But how he asked his question made no sense to me. And I was right.

“The night at the dance—your whole attitude did a 180. You treated me like I had less worth than a piece of garbage. And then afterwards… I don’t even know what that was about. You acted like you didn’t care about me, but you still gave enough of a **** to make sure that I got home safely? What, do you have some sort of personality disorder, or something? I’m getting real sick of you walking in circles around me.” I was afraid to tell him the truth. Deeply terrified. His reactions were incredibly unpredictable.

How would he react? I couldn’t say…

“Oh yeah? Well, I’m getting real sick of you lying to me.” Castiel glared at me with crossed arms.

That was it. And lying? About what, exactly? Well, many things, I suppose. One thing was certain, and that was that I didn’t at all understand his methods of interrogation.

“This!” I exclaimed. “This is exactly what I’m talking about. One minute, you’re calm and telling me you won’t judge, and the next, you’re attacking me! Do you realise how uncomfortable of a situation you’re putting me into? I have no way of knowing what you’ll think of me after I tell you! In fact—I don’t think I will—”

“Hey, shut up and think for a second. Right now, you’re the one attacking me. Don’t confuse yourself, Sweetheart.” He smirked at me. It killed me, but—in a way—he was right. Why did I even like this jerk?

I glared back at him. We kept up the staring contest for several moments until Castiel finally sighed and shook his head in defeat. “Why did I do anything at all? Because you—Desirée—drive me insane and make me do crazy things.”

“I don’t remember forcing anything upon you!” I retorted defensively. Please, tell me when I asked him to hook up with Amber, because I didn’t remember such a thing.

“You have got to be kidding me.” He plopped down in a nearby chair and placed a hand on his face.

“What?”

“Seriously, Des? You really are an idiot.” He mumbled something incoherently.

“Want to say that louder?” I mockingly asked him.

“Gladly.” He replied icily. “I like you.” He winked at me.

My jaw dropped. I never understood how he could say things like that so easily and confidently—needless to say, I was more than a little jealous of that trait. But at that moment, I was slightly taken aback by his bluntness. I did, however, do my best not to look like a gawking fool…