Dreamer

Chapter Twenty-Four: Nothing is Real, Part Two

Someday, I'm gonna get this right

Gonna find a better way, I wanna lead another life

I wanted to let you know me,

but I'm trapped inside the fear

Tick… tick… tick…

The rhythmic ticking of the clock above the principal’s door matched the beating of my heart. Beside me, Nathaniel tapped his foot just as anxiously. The obnoxious quiet of the area was bringing out the nerves in both of us.

Nathaniel was a very calm and collected person. Very few things could cause him to lose his cool—and most of those things were Castiel. If he was feeling off because of all this, one could only have imagined how I’d felt.

“So, um…"  I tried to break the silence. “How, uh, how mad do you think your father is?"  I bit my lip; I was afraid to find out what I was in for.

He sighed. “It’s hard to tell just by his face, but I’m going to safely assume that he is probably furious."

I leaned down in my seat and put my head in my hands. “I’m so stupid. I really am. How are you forgiving me so easily? I kind of hate myself right now." 

Lightly chuckling, Nathaniel pat my back. “Desirée, don’t be so hard on yourself. Things will work out…"  He hesitated. “…eventually…"

I smiled ruefully and sat up. “Very convincing."

“Well… for now, all we can do is wait."

“I guess…"  I glanced at Nathaniel and grimaced. “How’s your face?"

He shook his head. “I’ll be honest: it’s been better."

“Sorry about that."  I laughed nervously.

Nathaniel dismissively waved his hand. “Don’t blame yourself for this. It was between myself and Castiel."

“No, the thing is, if you think about it, it relates back to me. Everything that has happened is all connected to me and my problems somehow. Essentially, everything is my fault…"  It was true; trouble followed me around like a lost puppy.

“If you’d like to look at it from a philosophical perspective, everything is interconnected, and all events relate to each other in some form."  He shrugged.

“Thanks for that."  I raised an eyebrow. So, what… all the problems in the world were somehow my fault? I wouldn’t have doubted that, to be completely honest.

“I know I should be angrier,"  Nathaniel said suddenly. “because I like to keep my private life just that—private. The fact that you let out such an—intimate—matter made me feel hurt and angered, however…"  He trailed off thoughtfully.

“I would be lying if I said that there wasn’t a part of me feeling quite satisfied with that. As I’ve already said, my father has done some unforgivably shameless things. He really did have this coming. He works so hard at looking perfect, so I consider this a… mini victory."

I blinked several times in surprise. Well, that was nothing if not interesting. “Uh… all I can say is that I’m terribly sorry but… you’re welcome?"  “works hard at looking perfect,’ huh?

It’s funny that he of all people should say that…’

We were both able to share an apprehensive laugh over the oddity of the situation. Just then, Vince finished with his ‘important call’ and returned.

He sighed and plopped down on the seat on my other side, muttering incoherently in Italian.

I shifted awkwardly. “Umm, is everything okay?"