There is a difference from being depressed and sad. Sadness passes, one day you feel hopeless the next you can function properly while depressed is a constant. You can feel down anywhere and everyday as if someone is holding you back from living your life. Tears flow every night and it gets to the point you let them flow not daring to wipe them because once you do you look fine which you're not fine being fine is a form of acting. Your life is a play. In fact you're dying not from a disease but from a pain in your chest causing your heart to break every moment you step outside.
Life seems like it can't be complete and for Park Jimin who sits alone in his room he can't see himself living on to the young age of 19. He sits there staring at his blank walls which were once filled with band posters and photos of which he took on vacation just years before. It was all fine until one day when he had enough and begun ripping every poster and photo off his wall until none were left.
His blonde hair was growing out showing some of his natural brown hair which was anything but healthy. His eyes were dull and bones stuck out more then they did the week before. If you were to describe someone who was dying of starvation there would only need to be a finger point towards the young male who sat there swaying from side to side.
Sure his family tried to help his parents calling the doctor who refused to do anything without Jimin's consent. They also tried talking to Jimin but when they entered his apartment they instantly got shut out. There was nothing really to do other then watch their child as he slowly wastes away in front of them.
Yet going to present day he was wearing black skinny jeans which made his legs look skinny, deathly skinny but to him they were fat and unworthy for slim fitting jeans. His arms covered in bruises and cut marks making him cover them with a baggy black sweatshirt. Nothing about his body he liked he thought of his body as a shell that once he dies he can move onto the next as if he's a crab living in the deepest part of the ocean.
He stares at the ripped posters on the ground causing him to shed a tear as he looked at the faces of the band he once admired. The faces on the posters have been ripped in fury as he couldn't help but stop his anger outbreak.
He had a lot of energy for someone who lost 5 pounds in a week. He knew he was going to die if he didn't get help and for his aunt who was visiting Busan decides enough is enough.
« Enough is enough that child needs to learn that if he wants to live he needs help, shove him in the Clinic and make him eat! »
He squints his eyes as he remembers the words his aunt would repeat to his mom as if recovery was that easy. Nothing was easy and nothing will be easy for the young 18 year old who wanted nothing more then to whither away. It seemed like the best option.
He sat still for a moment more before getting startled by the familiar door bell causing him to groan in annoyance. He hated that bell wanting every time it rings to shove it down the person on the other side of the doors throat. He hated visitors so the fact that every person who dared to ring the door bell wanted to make him get help for something he didn't see was killing him.
He got up slowly feeling the pain in his joints causing him to lean forward sadness hitting him when he feels his body weaken. He manages to make it to the door in just enough time to catch the person on the other side mid knock causing the person to laugh nervously like they were caught doing something wrong.
« Mr. Park! How nice to see you again! People down at the clinic miss you. »
There it was Jimin's aunt who treats him as if he was a client, someone who she sees once a week for thearapy. Of course she loved him but when she was in town the only thing she wanted was to convince him that the clinic is the only way to get healthy. He huffs rolling his eyes pushing the door open a little more so the slightly shorter female could enter the small apartment.
Her eyes fixed on the mess in the living room which consisted of accent pillows scattered on the floor. Endless amount of beer cans and candy wrappers scattered across the floor as for the month before he might of had a binge with resulted in this two month eating punishment.
The punishment required no solid food just smoothies which he made himself choosing the least cal foods to add in. He only had those when he really was about to die other then that no food was consumed. The less the eat he felt better about himself, how light on his feet he was.
« Jimin as I said the patients down at the clinic along with that cute french girl who got sent over for treatment misses you. She's sweet and is doing so much better. »
She smiled scooting the mess off a couch cushion so she could sit down running her hand threw her brown hair flipping it so it was behind her shoulder.
« Still Gay auntie. »
Jimin joined her on the couch as she took out two brochures one from her own eating disorder clinic and one was for one in America. She set them down on the coffee table the one for America was in English causing me to have a headache while trying to figure out what is said.
« forced recovery is the only way Jimin, if you don't want my own clinic then I will let you look at the one in America. Please choose and get back to me right away I would love to get you into some treatment classes over there. »
She brought up the brochure, Jimin taking it in his pale boney hands.
« Your Mom will be proud if you take control of your health. She still cries when you collapse out in public from starvation. Anyway I should go please again think about it. »
The front door soon closed leaving the apartment silent once more leaving Jimin in his thoughts as he stared down at the brochure resting in his hand. There was two people on the front who seemed happy way too happy to be forced into recovery. Yet he knew he was breaking his mothers heart which was a big reason he wanted to get better. He so badly wanted to be able to eat food yet he knew he would never be comfortable in his own body.
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30 minute rule || Yoonmin
Fanfiction"Your dick's small." Park Jimin is the depressed teen who was forced into a clinic with suicidal thoughts constantly surrounding him an eating disorder closely following. His mind was a battle field and the 30 minute bathroom rule was pissing him of...
