I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew Luke was watching me closely, focusing on my every move as he awaited my side of the story. I swallowed and looked back into his crystal blue irises that fluttered worryingly about my face.
I opened my mouth to speak but closed it again afraid of how to begin. Finally, I found some words as Luke watched patiently. "I don't know how to act around guys I like." There was a long silence as I thought of how to explain.
"What do you mean, I've seen you pick up plenty of guys at clubs easily with the way you act!" Luke chuckled crudely. He didn't understand.
"I mean, I don't know how to act around guys I would bother having an actual relationship with. Not just a one night stand thanks to a couple of drinks and raunchy club music." There was definitely a difference between getting a guy because you have a pair of boobs and because you have a wonderfully likeable personality. Luke raised an eyebrow. "Look," I sighed. "That's why I was so rude to you the first time I talked to you. I didn't know what to say because I liked you. You were so different from Jesse, and I didn't know how to talk to guys to get them to like me. Jesse had been the one to come onto me, I had no idea how to do the opposite."
"Soooo, you called me a dildo?" Luke laughed and I made a face.
"I guess so," I laughed along with him.
"Wow, it's just too weird to think of you as a shy girl," Luke's jaw dropped in a playful manor.
"Well, once we became friends you made me more confident in how to talk to guys. I mean, if I could be that rude to you and you still hung around..." I giggled, but Luke's face went serious.
"So, what happened?" He pestered.
"What do you mean?" I shifted to the left side of my body to lay facing away from Luke. My eyes danced around the sand admiring the shadows the dock cast onto it.
"Well, after you got better at talking to guys, did you continue to like me or...?"
I bit my lip, "No. I kind of stopped liking you after we became friends. After that, I kind of just saw you as a... a friend..." Luke shifted in the sand and I could tell that he had rolled over to his right side so we were now back to back.
"Oh." He finally said.
"...But I guess it kind of came back," I added followed by a bit of a forced laugh.
"Did it really, Hal?" Luke questioned and I began to hold my breath. One slip-up in my words and I knew he wouldn't exactly believe me. But it was true.
"It did, Luke. That night you asked me out, geez that kind of took me by surprise. But then I realized that deep down inside it was actually what I wanted. Or at least I discovered that while you slept in my bed that same night. I spent a lot of time thinking out 'us' that night."
"So did I," Luke mumbled and I sat back up.
"You were passed out high and drunk off your ass, Hemmings," I spoke shaking my head to get the loose sand out of my hair.
"No, I wasn't that drunk. In fact, I think that was the only night I was finally thinking clearly," Luke chuckled and rolled onto his back again. He looked up at me and smiled. "You know, because I finally decided to try and make you mine."
"Well, it was completely out of the blue, Lucas," I pouted and he sat up with me, not bothering to shake the sand off his head.
"I know, but you wer-"
"Shut it before you get all romantic on me," I pressed a finger to his lips. "You still have to tell me why you had sex with that Talia girl last night." It hurt to say it out loud, but we were ignoring the elephant in the room and he did owe me some explanations.
"Oh yeah," Luke frowned remembering his so-called "mistake." I removed my finger off his light pink lips. I hoped this wouldn't hurt too much to hear, but I knew of course it would. It was Luke. Luke whom I loved.
"Okay," he started. "Look, Hal, after you left I knew for good that we couldn't be together. So, I went and talked to Ashton and-"
I rolled my eyes. "Ashton? You went and talked to Ashton for advice?" I scoffed.
"Yeah," Luke laughed. Him and I both knew Ashton wasn't exactly the best source of knowledge for the situation we were in, but then again Mikey and Calum weren't too much better. "I guess I did."
"Let me guess. His answer was to take a night out and get drunk?"
Luke sheepishly nodded. "And meet girls." He scratched his head, "So, instead of actually letting me meet girls, the three had already invited Talia over to Cal's house before we were about to leave."
"Luke..." I breathed.
"What was I supposed to do, Hal? She was already there!"
"Well, not fuck her!" I screamed and turned my back on him again.
"Okay, that was wrong of me! I got really drunk and I was missing you horribly... And I needed to find a way to get comfortable around Talia." Luke tugged at the back of my shirt to get me to turn back around.
"Well, you got a little too comfortable with her..." I said as I ignored his tugging.
"Hal, next thing I know I'm eight drinks in and she's pulling me into a dark room and undressing! I made some bad decisions last night, and I regret every one of them!" Luke's voice cracked and for a second I thought he would cry.
I knew Luke regretted it, I could hear it in his voice. But this wasn't just something I was going to get over right away, let alone forgive him for yet. I knew we hadn't been that committed to each other in the first place and that I had left him anyways. But the thought of him having sex with another girl got to me. And I was beginning to think that now it also had something to do with the fact it had only been his second time having sex, and I had been his first. What if Talia was better at it or something competitive like that?
"Luke, I'm pissed at you for being so fucking stupid," I finally spoke and turned around to face him. His eyes were shinier than usual and I could now see he had actually been on the brink of tears only seconds ago. That wasn't like Luke. He had always covered up his sentimental emotions 24/7, but it seemed like lately I seemed to make him so vulnerable and fragile. For some reason I liked that.
"Hey, don't cry," I lightly giggled and Luke giggled, too rubbing his eyes. "Oh, you got some sand in your hair," I said scooting closer to him until I was kneeling right in front of him. I leaned in and lightly brushed the sand off the top of his dirty blond hair. We were now face to face and his lips were only inches away from mine as my fingers continued to run through his hair.
His hand moved from the sand up to my thigh and the other to the side of my face. He pulled me into him and our lips reunited once again. They were warm as mine were colder, but he didn't seem to mind or pull away. I felt his lip ring from the inside of his mouth with my tongue.
"Hal," Luke moaned through our kiss as I continued to run my fingers through his hair and tug at it every once in a while. He fell backwards into the sand taking me with him. I toppled over him, our lips never disconnecting as his hands traveled down my waist.
YOU ARE READING
the promise ➳ hemmings
Fanfiction| Promises are just very sincere lies. We make them thinking that we'll keep them. But in time, our motivation to keep them fades-- just like the hope and trust others had in us that they wouldn't. It's just sad to think that's what our relationship...
