the promise ➳ hemmings

Part 58

One and a half years later:

"Hey, you still busy tonight?" My roommate, Sarah, asked me from across the room of our dorm. It was the end of the first semester of my sophomore year in college, and I had known Sarah since I had first arrived here at CCNY.

I raised an eyebrow and motioned to the piles of books and papers that surrounded me. "Kinda..." Since I had chosen to double major in English, I was always reading and writing and reading and writing.

"Ugh, but you're so lame," Sarah rolled her eyes and smiled. I knew she had expected me to stay that. "Are you sure you don't want to come to the 5 Seconds of Summer concert tonight with me and everyone else? We have an extra ticket!" She pleaded.

"I've told you a jillion times, Sarah, I'm just not into those kinds of bands," I lied. She had no idea that I had ever even known them in person.

After Luke and I had gone our separate ways, the band 5 Seconds of Summer had played many more gigs across our state and then they began to get bigger and spread across the country. By a year since I had last seen Luke, they were huge--the hottest rising topic. And Sarah could not be more obsessed with them.

I didn't even have to try to keep up with what they were doing because Sarah was always telling me. It was hard to pretend I didn't care, but in some ways I liked knowing Luke was still doing okay.

I would be lying if I said I still didn't miss him like crazy or think about him a lot. I wonder if sometimes he still missed me, too. But of course I knew every night he spent hours in front of seas of screaming girls now that were all yelling his name. It would be easy to forget someone like me with that type of life. As much I hated to think about it, I assumed he had replaced me over time. It wasn't anything for me to get mad about, I couldn't blame him for being such a likeable--now famous--guy that even my own roommate drooled over.

Tonight 5 Seconds of Summer were in New York City--the closest I had been in distance from Luke in a while. I knew Sarah wanted me to go to the concert, but I just couldn't do that to myself. I couldn't let all those feelings come rushing back by seeing Luke again up on that stage.

"Can't you just take a break? Like just stop working your ass off for one night and have some fun?" Sarah begged again with a pouty lip.

"No, I really can't," I said shaking my head. Well, I could. But I didn't want to.

"What happened to the fun Hal you used to tell me about? The one that fucked around in high school and went to clubs?" She urged and I gave a large sign. Did she have to bring that up?

"She grew up," I answered plainly. "She grew up and got on with her life and she doesn't need to undo all her successful work in just one night." I had meant I would be undoing my hard work in a different way than what Sarah would probably interpret. But that was for the better.

"....You're full of bullshit," she finally burst out in laughter. "We're almost out for Christmas Break and you'll have plenty of time to do all that work then. So now you have no excuses. Sorry, but you're coming," she said while grabbing me by the arm and pulling me off the bed. I decided not to fight against it anymore and let her win. What real harm would seeing the boys again do to me? It's not like it would be in person. They wouldn't even know I was there.

"You're a bitch," I groaned as she dragged me over to my closet.

"We need to find you something to wear tonight," she giggled while completely ignoring my comment. She dug through my clothes and shoes and then she did again two more times before she decided I didn't have any of the right clothes for a concert. A year and a half ago I would have had a punk rocker's dream closet, but ever since Luke had left so had that rocker-girl side of me, too.