27: Goodbye, Mom

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The next day, my dad comes home with Mom's ashes, and we plan the spreading of them for 3:00 that afternoon. Alex and I were to leave an hour after that, and get back home in L.A. at about 7:00.

Right now, Alex and I were both getting ready for the spreading of my moms ashes. Luckily, I had planned ahead just in case and made us both of us. My dad had told us all to just dress up in black as if we were going to a funeral, which is what Alex and I were doing.

I had already slipped into my dress, which was sleeveless and flowing, and Alex had put on his black button down shirt and black dress pants.

Currently, I am trying to do my makeup while Alex lays bored on my bed, watching me.

I had already applied my primer and foundation, and am now putting on my concealer.

"Can I do your makeup one day?" Alex asks, watching me.

"Maybe for a video when we get home. Why do you want to do it?" I ask him, blending my concealer with my beauty blender.

"I think I'd do a pretty good job. I watch you do it all the time and I think I know how to do it now," Alex tells me. I laugh at this, and he pouts.

"Makeup is harder than it looks, babe. And I have a feeling you'd mess up my products and stuff," I say, now filling in my eyebrows with an eyebrow pencil.

"I would not," Alex scoffs. "I think I'd do s good job."

"We'll see. We can make a boyfriend does my makeup challenge once we get home and settled in," I tell him, not putting concealer around my brows and blending it in.

"I'll do so good at that, you just wait," Alex assures me, and I laugh.

I then move on to put on my bronzer, blush, and highlight. After I do that I put on my mascara and some nude lipstick and I'm finished.

I then walk over to Alex on the bed and lay down next to him. Alex leans in to kiss my cheek, but I stop him.

"You're going to mess up my makeup!" I exclaim, pushing his face away.

"Why won't you just accept my kisses?" Alex pouts.

"You'll mess up my makeup if I let you," I tell him simply, and he sticks out his bottom lip.

"Later. It's about time for the ashes anyways, so we should probably get downstairs," I say, realizing that it's 2:48.

I put on my black high heels and Alex puts on his dress shoes, and we both make our way downstairs where the rest of my family is.

Alex and I stand next to the rest of my family next to the twins, waiting for the last few people to finish up and make their way downstairs.

"You look pretty, Dakota," Gracie tells me, tugging on the bottom of my dress.

"Thank you, Gracie. You and Tayler look beautiful too," I smile at them.

"Thank you!" They say in unison.

"Can you come home more to visit more often? I like Alex and I miss you when you're gone. You're my favorite family member, don't tell anyone else," Tayler tells me.

The twins have grown close to Alex in the past few days, always wanting him to read to them and carry them. The bond that the three of them have is very adorable and helped my understand why Alex wants so many kids. He is very good with them, and I can tell just by the way that he treats the girls that he'll be an amazing father.

Suddenly, the last two people, Henry and Gabe, come down the stairs and Dad leads us all outside to Mom's garden. He told the vase full of her ashes in his arms and stands in front, looking at the rest of us.

"Just as Eleanor requested, I'm going to pass the vase around and everyone who wants to will take out a handful of her ashes and say something that they liked about her, she taught you, she said, or a memory you have of her and then sprinkle them in the garden. She never wanted a traditional funeral because she didn't want everyone crying over her and grieving, so instead of dwelling on the fact that she died, let's all say something positive that you removed about her," my dad says.

"I'll start. I remember the first day I met Eleanor. It was raining and very cold out sit at a party. Eleanor was all by herself, continuing to dance and sing to the music while it continued to rain. Everyone else had gone inside to get out of the rain, but she just stayed there, in her own little world. I remember admiring the way that she did whatever she wanted, not caring if anyone else watched or wasn't doing it. And so, I joined her in the cold, wet rain and danced and sung with her. It's my favorite memory I have, and I know I'll never forget it, or her," Dad says, taking a handful of ashes and spreading them throughout the garden. He hands the vase over to Gabe, who clears his throat before beginning to speak.

"I remember when I got my head stuck in between the wooden boards in our playhouse when I was 7 just because Dennis told me to, and how mom had to butter my neck to get me out," Gabe starts, causing everyone to chuckle a little. "After that, taught me that I don't always have to feel pressured to do things that I don't want to just because people tell me to, and to make sensible decisions."

Gabe takes some ashes and sprinkles them, and then the vase gets passed around and around to everyone, skipping Alex because he didn't want to intrude, until it's handed to the last person, me. I take in a deep breath before beginning to speak.

"Mom taught me to never regret anything. She taught me never to live in the past, overthinking the things you've done and the mistakes you've made. She was the biggest influence I've had on my life, and still is. I remember when I was nervous to go and leave her to go on my first big modeling trip all the way in Japan, and the words she told me. She told me to go and follow my dreams, no matter who was in my way. She told me to not care about what anyone else thought, and to just go and do what I thought was best for me. Because of that, I've come to where I am today, and I'm very grateful for that. I love you to the moon, back, around the world three times, and to my heart. Goodbye, mom," I say, sprinkling the last of her ashes into the garden.

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