The Unwanted- /re-writing/

Chapter five_(05)

••You don't know--how hard it is,
To wake up everyday, and smile••

       

       Dark brown deep-set eyes, with dark circles underneath, small pointed nose, thick black hair in long natural braids, plump pink lips pulled down in a disappointed frown; all set in an oval shaped face. I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering what it was about me that made me, me. I wondered why I was created and what exactly my purpose on this earth was but sadly came up with…nothing.

I didn’t have any special talents, I didn’t have any acquired skill—my parents wouldn’t let me learn tailoring due to some social standard trash reason—I didn’t have a particularly nice singing voice, nor could I move my limbs to any dance move. I was just useless. An unwanted burden on the balance of the world. I didn’t belong here, and I knew it.

I exhaled and watched my breath fog up the mirror, and with my index finger, I drew a heart in the fog I'd created. What exactly makes me so different from everyone else? What exactly is wrong with my destiny and my fate that I have to have this kind of life? Why exactly—

"Dumb mistress! When you're done staring at your ugly face in the mirror, will you please step out!" Stephanie's high-pitched shout from the other side of the door made me jump and I quickly packed my toiletries, tightened my towel around my chest and hurried out of the bathroom we both shared.

So, I'm ugly?

"Hmmh! I hope you didn't leave crap in the toilet? I don't even want to see your face in the morning, talk less of your crap." She said with her face scrunched up like she had mayonnaise mixed with groundnut and vinegar stuck in her throat and I just swallowed the come back built up in my throat and bent my head as I slowly walked to my side of the room to get ready for class.

Back to being the dumb mistress now are we?

It'd been a week since resumption and we were already knee-deep in homework and projects. I put on my ironed, cream colored long-sleeve shirt, red checkered skirt, red blazer and finished it off with our red and cream, stripe design bow-tie; then packed my stuffs and left the room before Stephanie could come out and yell at me again. It was still 5:38 and assembly didn't start until 7:30am; even the hostel-mistress hadn't rang the 'wake-up' alarm yet, so I made my way to Mary's room, mostly in the hopes of meeting her roommate. I don't know why, but since that day in class, Mary has been acting weird around me and everytime I ask who her roommate is, she just shuns me or changes topic. I knew something was wrong when she forbade me from coming to her dorm room at certain times during the day and I was worried she had a crazy-ass roommate like mine and didn't want to let me know.

I contemplated knocking as I got to room 4, but then decided against it and I just opened the door and walked in.

The sight that greeted me wasn't disturbing in the least bit—it was crazy!

Mary and that new Clara girl from Stephanie's clique were on Mary's bed, laughing their asses out over something unknown to me. My coming in made them pause and Mary's face took on a shocked look, mirroring mine. I just turned around and quickly left the room.

I didn't know where to go, and I didn't want to go back to my dorm room to Stephanie's hateful words, so I just walked out into the school garden. The relaxing smell of flowers invaded my nostrils and I smiled and closed my eyes, enjoying the early morning, flower-fragrance. After a while, I opened my eyes and walked further, away from the crazy normal world I lived in.

Morning dew slowly trickled down leaf petals and I bent down to collect one with my index finger. The dew felt cold against my skin and I just had this urge to lick it, and so I did. I brought my finger up to my mouth and smiled as the coolness met with my tongue...sigh.

Click.

The sound of a camera brought me out of my trance and my mind started racing as I stood up and brushed dirt off my knee, while frantically looking around for who it was that took my picture.

"Looking for this?" A male shadowy figure hidden behind a tree called out with a phone outstretched towards me, my picture fully displayed on the screen, and I ran with a racing heart towards the person but just before I got there, he laughed and ran away.

What the hell!

I stopped and bent over with my hand on my knees as I tried to steady my breathing and calm my racing heart. I didn't know who that was or what the person wanted with my picture but that was some creepy shit.

I sighed heavily after a while of looking around for the intruder in vain, and then I looked up at the sun peeping through the dark, early morning clouds and I decided to go to the assembly and just wait for everyone else.

My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I was supposed to be in the dining hall with the others for breakfast, but my mood was already ruined since I woke up and I just trudged to the assembly hall, head hung low.

Today is definitely not my day.