Pain

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You're sitting by the window, a glass of red wine in your hand, waiting for Johnny to come home and staring absent-mindedly outside.

It's a stormy day, one of those you like so much. It's thundering and soon it would start buckling down. And although normally in a day like this you feel amazing, today is one of the days when everything you've been through starts weighing on your shoulders and all you can do is cry. You never cry, you hate crying, but now you can't stop the tears that are rolling on your cheeks. They are like a waterfall of pain that had been flooded inside you and it's now finally running down from your eyes so you could breathe, because you're tired of drowning.

Johnny finally comes home and when he calls your name you run to the bathroom to wash your face. When you walk out of the bathroom you quickly go to sit up on the bed and grab the nearest book to pretend you're reading it. When Johnny comes to the bedroom he's smiling and in a good mood but his smile disappears when he notices the book in your hands.

"What are you doing?" He asks casually and sits on the bed waiting to see what your reply would be.

"What does it look like? I'm reading a book."

"No, you're not." He states and reaches to pull the book out of your hands. "It's upside do –"

He frowns when he sees your face and your red, puffy eyes. He throws the book and reaches to touch your cheek.

"What's wrong, love?" He asks and you can feel new portion of tears forming behind your eyes again.

He's so sweet, so gentle, so loving, so...perfect. And you feel like you don't deserve him, like he's too good for you.

"Nothing's wrong." You say. "I'm fine, really."

He moves his fingers under your chin and lifts your face to look directly at your eyes, but you avoid his look.

"Look at me." He pleads and with a sigh you move your eyes to look at him.

His brown orbits are staring right back at you, full of love and concern and comfort.

"I don't know what's wrong and why you've been crying, but I won't let you suffer. Whatever's going on, I'm here and I won't let you be in pain."

He moves to the upper part of the bed so he could pull you in a hug and holding you tight he kisses your forehead. You look at his face and you gently fondle his cheek.

"Look, I'll be ok, I just...sometimes when I'm all by myself I think of what my life has been before I met you and I need to lessen the pain somehow. So I let the tears beat me even though I hate crying." You explain.

He cups your face with his hands and stares in your eyes.

"I don't know what your life has been before we met but we're together now. I love you more than anything else in this world, more than myself and I can't stand to see the pain in your eyes and how much you're hurting."

You let out a small sigh.

"Sometimes pain is inevitable, but necessary and we can't do anything to avoid it. But then we learn how to cope with it and it starts hurting less. And we wait for the day when the pain might disappear completely."

"When did my girl become so wise?" He asks and you chuckle slightly making him smile too.

You love how he always calls you his girl.

"I don't know." You shrug and caress his cheek staring right into his dark orbits. "I love you, so much."

"I love you, more." He responds and he leans down to kiss you.

You kiss him back and snuggle your head into his neck.

"You're my center, my anchor." You say and you can feel him smile.

"And you're mine."

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