eight

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Sometimes Namjoon really hated Ji-hye.

Did she have to flirt with Jin? Jin was clearly uncomfortable with the attention he was getting. He kept fidgeting and looking at his feet, or he would look at Namjoon clearly asking for some help.

When she flirtatiously giggled and winked at Jin again. Namjoon had fucking enough. Jin didn't need this in her life, he was flushing but not in a cute way. More in a embarrassed way, it was adorable either ways though. Ji-hye was his girlfriend, Jin didn't need to deal with her. The hell had even gotten into her?

"Ji-hye I need to talk to you" he said his voice emotionless. Taking one look at Namjoon's face, she knew she fucked up. Wordlessly standing up she nodded and followed him out the room.

Facing her something inside Namjoon snapped. What was wrong with him? Why did no one love him? After all he's become, why was he still not good enough? Why was it so hard to love him?

"Do you love me?" He asked his voice cracking, and tears already pricking his eyes as he collapsed on to the bedroom floor. Maybe he already knew the answer that was coming, maybe he was a fool. But he loved her, that he did.

Shock filtered through her face and she decided it was finally time to give him the cold brutal truth "No I don't."

He buried his face in his hands as his heart tore into two pieces "Do you rembember, you used to tell me you loved me once. What happened? Am I no longer worth your attention? After all I've done for you, am I still not good enough for you."

He couldn't hold it in anymore he started sobbing, where was the girl who loved him. Where was the girl he loved, the one who would hold him as he cried. The one who would listen to every word he sayed. The one who would make his day. The girl who would hold him just because. Where was the girl he would do anything for.

Looking at Namjoon crying his heart out on the carpet floor. A piece of her hear shattered, and she dropped down next to him. Bringing his head onto her lap, she cradled him as he softly cried. She had loved Namjoon once, once she was just a ordinary girl and he was just the stupidly clumsy idol that had fallen for her.

Once upon a time she would have done anything for Namjoon, once upon a time Namjoon was her whole world.

But somewhere along the way, she had changed. The hardships of the world had changed her, her parents death had changed her. The death of of the one person she had truly loved her, best friend had changed her.

Finding out that she couldn't have children had broken another piece of her. Knowning that she would die in a span of ten years from the deadly disease that killed her whole family had changed her. Her sister losing her mind after their parents death and murdering her best friend had broken the last piece of her tattered heart.

She certainly wasn't the girl Namjoon had met all those years ago. She had become greedy, she thought by now the only way she could truly be happy was with money and fame. Love hadn't gotten her anywhere.

She had stuck by Namjoon all these years, because once upon a time he made her the happiest person alive. But now? Now, she didn't care. Namjoon wasn't the worst person to date, after all he had the money and fame she desperately craved.

But looking at him crying right now broke another piece of her heart she didn't know she even had left. She didn't love him. Not anymore. She refused to love anymore. But she did care about him even if was just a tiny bit.

She did care, he had been there for her. He wasn't too bad of a person. He deserved better than her.

Dragging herself closer to him she wrapped her arms around him as he sobbed even more into her shoulder. She could feel his shoulders trembling as he breathed her in and out.

He pulled away from her and cupping her face said some words that would always crack her heart, no matter how much she changed. She would always remember this man. This man that loved her unconditionally. This man that she has put though so much pain for the last two years. This man that even if she tried, she just couldn't seem to love anymore.

Maybe she was a monster.

Maybe Namjoon deserved better.

But Lee Ji-Hye simply did not care.

"I love you. I do. But your different. You don't love me. I know you loved me once. But that was years ago. Now, you're slowly breaking me. Taking my spirt and crushing it. Taking my confidence and leaving me with nothing. Yet why do I still keep loving you" He said softly pressing a delicate kiss onto her forehead. He leaned his body back onto hers.

She had no words, she couldn't comfort him. She didn't know how to. All she could do was hold him as he cried in her arms.

And no matter how she tried she still couldn't make herself feel for Namjoon again.

~~

I lost my glasses, and my new ones are coming in two weeks.

And I have this training thingy for school. And it's before my glasses come and I'm so blind.

I can see but like about everything is blurry. Like I can see my phone enough to write. But I can't see things far away their blurry😑

Ugh.

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