Fresh Wounds, Old Scars

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Sherlock wanted to tell Adelaide everything thaf he had hidden from her and everyone else for years, so he waited for her to finish a work call before calling out to her, "Love?"

"Yes, Darling? Do you need something?" She asked from the kitchen. She'd gone in to fill up a bottle with ice water, one of her nightly routines.

"No, no. I want to tell you about what happened today." He replied.

She walked into the living room and set the water bottle down on the coffee table, "You ready to talk about it?"

He nodded softly, "Yes. I am ready."

"Alright." She hummed and sat down next to him on the futon. He grasped her hand and ran his thumb over her fingers as he contemplated what to tell her first.

"The two men I fought earlier today... They worked for Moriarty as his best assassins when he was alive and his network was thriving. When I went underground to dismantle the network I spent nearly a year tracking down Sebastian Moran and Neville McDermott. I finally got them in Bucharest and I thought I'd eliminated them once and for all."

"But they're still alive..."

Sherlock nodded stiffly, "Yes. The network is up and expanding again, as evidenced by the number of murder puzzles and how efficient they've been. Obviously the network is under new leadership and thus Moran and McDermott have come back. They ambushed me in that alley for revenge."

"Revenge? For taking down the network?"

"Yes. Moran especially. He was the closest to Moriarty. He was one of the snipers that day..."

Adelaide waited a few seconds before clarifying, "The day Moriarty threatened to kill John, Missus Hudson and Lestrade if you didn't jump off of St. Bart's?"

"He was the one trained on John. Mycroft's people stopped him of course but he never got over seeing his employer shoot himself. When I cornered him in Bucharest a year later he was in a blind rage. It worked to my advantage at the time, so I really did-" He started talking rapidly. Adelaide reached out and planted a quick kiss on his cheek, then rubbed his back to try and keep him calm.

"You don't need to keep berating yourself over Moran and McDermott. I know that you did what you could at the time, Sweetie."

"I thought that I had killed them and fully dismantled the network but now they're back and it's my fault!"

"You did  dismantle the network, Sherlock."

He shook his head, "If I had done a better job then they wouldn't be active now. They wouldn't be an issue now. Those two years spent playing dead are essentially wasted since I didn't succeed at weeding out the network after all. I put John, Missus Hudson, Greg and Molly through two years of pain for nothing because-"

"Sherlock, if Moriarty isn't alive and isn't the one that is leading them then this is a completely new network just based off of the old one. And it isn't all that strong yet. There is still time to destroy it before it gets too powerful. Those two years weren't in vain because it isn't technically Moriarty's network. It's someone else's," Adelaide soothed, "And you're not alone this time. You won't be fighting the battle by yourself again. I'm here to help you, and so are John, Mary, Lestrade-"

"I get the general idea, Adelaide," Sherlock almost smiled, "But... they can't help me with everything, Love."

"What do you mean, Darling?"

He exhaled and gripped her hand, "Do you recall that night after I brought you back from the hospital..? I had an episode and you helped me calm back down and that lead to us confessing our love to each other. But before that..."

Adelaide nodded slowly, "You had said that you were remembering things about Moriarty. You never did tell me what all you were actually reliving- but you made me promise that I actually did want to know because you hadn't told anyone, even John."

Sherlock drew a sharp breath, "You promised to keep my secrets and I never told you. I kept pushing it off. Delaying it because I wasn't sure how you would react. I didn't want you to pity me or leave me because of it, or to break your promise and tell John. But we're engaged and with everything that is happening, I can't keep it away from you any longer. I don't want to let my past compromise our marriage simply because you don't know."

"I never pressed because I knew that it is extremely sensitive, Sherlock. I trusted you'd tell me eventually, and I'm glad you're telling me now before we do marry. And my promise still stands. I won't tell anyone unless you give me permission to do so."

He let go of her hand. His fingers fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, " It might be easier to show you rather than tell you, Love," Adelaide just sat patiently, quick to understand what exactly he was doing. As he finished undoing the buttons he stood up and untucked it, slowly shrugging off the thin black garment. Once it was gone, all of his old scars were exposed in addition to the injuries he'd recently incurred. He didn't make eye contact with her as she stood up and came closer, "The welts and contusions are from the fight today. The others are scars from... From those two years underground. M-Minus the bullet wound in my lower abdomen."

Adelaide approached and quietly took in every mark. Sherlock didn't know what reaction to anticipate from her at that point, and just stood still so she could see. When she looked at his back she let out a deep breath bordering on a gasp, "You were tortured... And you've been hiding these memories for years.., Sherlock-"

"The scars don't hurt. Just the memories associated with them. The memories that made me lose control today, after Moran and McDermott stirred them up."

Adelaide reached out and touched one of the bigger, nastier scars that was likely left there by a whip- a collection of lash marks. It was a feather light touch but the coolness of her finger tips set a chill through him and he shuddered. She instantly retracted, "Ah! Sorry, Sherlock!"

"No, it's fine! Just cold for a second, Love..."

She came back around to where he could see her and hugged him gently, "Thank you for showing me, Sherlock. Just know that I don't think any less of you. I just wish I could have known sooner so I could have helped more. I love you."

He closed his arms tightly around her and rested his chin on her head, feeling the burden on his shoulders lighten immensely, "I love you too, Adelaide."

LOOONNNNGGGG but I hope you liked it!! Thank you for reading!! 😊😘

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