Insanity Bites |z.m| |h.s|

Chapter 70: Absolution

My foot threatened to move under the flimsy sheet covering me and I bit my lip as a distraction to remain still. It was utter torture to lie here waiting, pretending to be unconscious while I waited for my father to fall asleep before I snuck out.

Time was running out, I felt the urgency with every click of the clock hand on the wall, telling me I've lost yet another second. It has been two hours since Zayn left and my father returned from where ever he was. 

A quick glance at the clock told me it was almost one o'clock a few seconds ago but my father was still awake. The lights in the rooms and corridors had been turned off, leaving only a soft glow from the emergency lights. 

There was also the glow from my fathers phone and he had been busy with it ever since he came back. I wanted to cry when it rang this time. How long could I wait? Surely he had to sleep sometime. 

He whispered the words 'baby' in a sickly sweet voice and my anger multiplied ten fold. It took all my will not to jump out of bed and smash his phone on to the floor. After everything that has happened, he still had the audacity to cheat on my mother. 

I made a mental note to support my mother fully if I survived tonight.

After what felt like an eternity, albeit only being twenty minutes, my father returned and he finally shut his phone off. Within a few clicks of the clock I could already hear soft snores coming from the couch in the room.

I opened my eyes and peaked at him. Sure enough he was lying snugly on the couch, sleeping soundly with his mouth wide open. 

I stared at him for a few minutes making sure he was fast asleep before I sat up slowly. The corridor outside was dark and dead quiet, which definitely worked in my favor but my hands shook as I slowly pulled out the needle in my wrist. 

I didn't even feel the pain. I felt numb all over as the fear of action finally sunk in.

Was I really going to kill Zayn? No matter how many times I've envisioned that scenario, I never really imagined carrying it out. I never had the guts to, or maybe because I never really wanted to.

Zayn made me feel things. Things I've never felt before with anyone else. He made me feel warm with desire, burning with passion, drunk with emotion, pain so sharp it felt like a knife cutting through my skin. 

But then my thoughts flitted to Harry. Harry also made me feel things. He made me feel special, appreciated, calm and his company was one of the only things keeping me sane. He made me feel worth the trouble and God knows how much I've depended on him these past few weeks.

The answer was simple. The choice blatantly obvious. I should not feel, just act. It is what Zayn wanted anyway.

 I remained as soundless as possible as I pushed the sheet aside and stepped on to the floor. The cold tiles made me shiver and I looked around for shoes but I couldn't find any spare ones in the room. My father stirred a little and I decided I would have to go barefoot for now.

A drop of blood fell on to the floor and I looked at my hand to see it bleeding from where the needle was. I pressed my thumb to it and walked out briskly. I had to squint at the sign boards looking for the exit sign. I didn't have my glasses and every sound that came from any direction made me jump.

I saw the blurred outlines of a sign that looked like it said exit so I quickly walked along the corridor that lead to it. My heart nearly popped out of my chest when the sound of a woman's voice echoed through the air.

I ducked behind the row of chairs in the waiting area just in time as a nurse walked right past me. She didn't see me and she seemed to be rushing somewhere as she talked to a man standing someplace I couldn't see.