blackbox | kirishima eijirou

21 | sea discoveries

Sakura wonders how it feels like to wake up feeling okay—the steady beat of our heart, the birds chirping outside to say hi to an optimistic soul, the tree leaves rustling that soothes our clouded minds and anything that makes you feel like an.. ordinary person.

She really wonders how.

Because every time she opens her eyes to a whole new day, she feels.. a mix of morose and weariness.

Every time her gaze automatically stare at the ceiling above her, she always feels this tug in her chest like an anchor sinking it down as if it's trying to sink the ship the sailor was standing on. The tidal waves crashing over every moment whenever she tried to avoid them. The dolphins that were once gliding through the water before leaping up to say hi had disappeared, only left with the deep cerulean abyss with nothing to see from the ship.

Every time she steps out of the shelter she finds safe to take refuge, there's always a storm brewing around the corner—in the middle of the ocean, and no matter how hard the sailor tried to turn the ship around while barking orders at their crew, the currents always, always, pull them in. Sometimes a whirlpool is worse than a thunderstorm, but the sailor was glad it was just a thunderstorm.

Because if their ship were to get pulled in into a whirlpool, everyone—their memories, their smiles, their faith, their morals, would drown.

So, maybe, Sakura was grateful that the pain was only the surface and not the deep sea.

"Good morning, Sakura. How's your sleep?" Her mother poured a cup of a freshly brewed coffee on the counter.

"Good, I guess," she hoarsely replied, her throat feeling dry as she brushed past her to grab a glass of water.

"How're your exams, kiddo?" It was his turn to ask, taking a bite of his bread.

The blue girl gripped the glass of water tightly, trying to ignore the small embers running through her veins.

Don't call me that.

She turns around and leaned against the counter, noticing that both of them were already listening to her.

She almost let out a bitter chuckle, ignoring the meteorite creating a small crater on the rose-coloured surface of her heart.

Of course they would ask that of all things. They knew my exams schedule after all.

"It was okay," I'm not. "Literature was easy. I was a little cranky on History but I think I can manage. The rest of the subjects were fine too."

There was a small pause, but she didn't look at any of their faces.

She takes a sip of her drink.

"How are you struggling with History?"

She gripped the cup tighter.

"It wasn't the subject. It's the analysing part I was struggling with. And I always get the wrong evidence. I mean, I don't know. No matter how hard I try to get the correct words written, there's always something wrong."

"Hm," the mother pondered for a moment. "Maybe after you get your papers back, we'll see if we can help you."

"No, it's fine. You guys have your own work to do. You don't have to stress yourself out to help me."

A small smile Sakura finds it hard to see formed on her lips. "Okay, honey. But don't stress yourself out too by trying to solve it out on your own."

She wanted to laugh.

"Thanks," she muttered under her breath while ignoring the prickling sensation behind her eyes.

Hypocrites.