Tyler Joseph x Reader

If It Means A Lot To You

Warnings: Angst, some profanity

Word Count: 1616

Hey, darling. I hope you're good tonight.

You smiled at the text from Tyler. Despite the fact that he was in a timezone hours ahead of you, he had made sure to remind you that he was thinking of you. You typed out a quick response before setting your phone down and returning to the show you were watching.

Spending months away from Tyler was hard, but you had known what you were getting yourself into when the two of you started dating. His music career had just started to take off, and you had known that it would only be a number of months before he was playing sold out shows all over the world. The feeling that Tyler gave you wasn't one that you were willing to just throw away, though. Love meant sacrifice, and for you that sacrifice was spending most of your time miles apart.

The first months apart were always the easiest. Memories of cuddling up with Tyler on the couch and making dinner together were still fresh in your mind, and it was when you felt the most like you could make it through the tour. You knew the security would slowly fade away, but you took advantage of it while you could.

Hey, sweetie. I need you here tonight.

You debated not sending Tyler the text. He was already stressed enough from touring, and you didn't want to add him worrying about you on top of that. It had been almost four months since he had left, and the doubt was beginning to creep in.

He couldn't really be there with you, you knew that, but even seeing his face would help you feel just a little bit better. It was hard for you to talk about your insecurities because so many people would brush them off and tell you how lucky you were to be dating someone like Tyler. So many people would kill to be in your position, so you limited yourself to talking about your issues with Tyler.

Your phone began to ring, flashing Tyler's contact picture at you. You smiled as you reached for your laptop at the end of the bed.

"Hey, what's going on?" Tyler asked as soon as you answered the FaceTime call, worry evident on his face.

"I'm just having a hard night. My mind is winning the battle right now," you sighed, fiddling with the strings of your sweatshirt.

"I know it's hard right now, but every day is one day closer to coming home."

"We're almost halfway."

You and Tyler talked for a few hours until he was practically falling asleep. It took you awhile to convince him that you were feeling better, even though you weren't, so that he would finally get off the call and get some much needed rest. He would stay up all night with you if he needed to, but you knew that right now touring was more important than you were, no matter what Tyler said.

You closed your laptop and slid it back down towards the end of the bed before you pulled your knees into your chest. Tears slipped silently down your cheeks as thoughts bounced around your head. You loved Tyler more than anything, but you couldn't keep doing this. His fame was only going to continue to grow, meaning bigger shows and longer tours.

There was a decision that had to be made, and you weren't looking forward to making it.

"I can't wait through everything."

You read the line out loud to yourself a few times, not wanting to believe it despite the fact that you had written the line yourself just a few minutes ago. Keeping a journal had proved to be the best way to keep your mental health in check when Tyler was in crazy timezones hours ahead of you. Usually it brought you peace, but recently it had been forcing you to face the thoughts you had so desperately been trying to avoid.