100 sleepless nights (pierce the veil)

I'm Not Okay

TRIGGER WARNING!! (If you're triggered easily please do not read. My story is not worth anything happening to you. Love you all so much for reading. Thank you. -SS13)

Violets POV

It's been a month since the fight. Caitlyn, receiving lots of attention, was adopted several days after that.

I haven't made a video in two weeks. I know people are worried, but they'll give up on me soon.

I still get letters, but I never open them. I've gotten some from Kellin and a few from Copeland and Kenadee. I have a huge stack of letters from Vic, Jaime, Tony, and Mike. Lots from Andy, Ashley, CC, Jinxx, and Jake. Letters from Trix, Austin, Luke, Alex, and even
Maddie.

I left the pile of letters on the floor and went downstairs.

"Hey Violet, you think your cool, huh? You think you can get away with that stunt because you're daddy's famous?" Yelled Daren.

I didn't even bother responding. I already knew what was going to happen.

"I asked you a question." he said. I still didn't reply, there where plenty sarcastic comments in my head but I kept them to myself.

He shoved me to the ground. My ankle screamed out in pain. I refused to let myself cry in front of him. I haven't cried since I said goodbye to everyone.

He kicked me in the side a few times, luckily it wasn't the side with the broken ribs. But it still hurt.

I tried to stand when I thought he was done. But he kicked me back down. My head was pounding and at the moment I honestly wished I was dead.

So when he finally left I went up to my room and stared at the silver piece of metal that could take my pain away, and not just for ten minutes, forever.

The hot tears silently rolled down my cheek as I picked up the weapon. I never would have thought it would end this way. What have I come to?

I made one deep cut, going all the way around my arm, and another, and another. I kept doing that until I was surrounded in a pool of blood.

I was light headed but I kept going, 1 to take the pain away. 1 for all the trouble I've caused 1 to get away from this evil earth where such bad things happen. 1 more for all the tears. 1 for all the pain, 1 for the disorders. 1 for all the hope that no longer exists.

I kept going. I could hear footsteps coming to my room. I quickly made more cuts. Somebody tried to open the door but the lock wouldn't let them.

"Violet? open up." it was Vic's voice. I must be hallucinating. It must be working, I'm almost dead.

There was a knock on the door. "violet I'm sorry, open up." he spoke.

"Violet it's Andy, come on. Open the door." Said a deep voice.

I made a few more cuts. My world started going black when I heard Alex's voice.

"Violet it's me, I love you."

My eyes where getting heavy. The suicide note was right next to me as I collapsed on the floor.

Jaime's POV

I knew something wasn't right. Why wasn't she opening?

I pushed everybody aside and kicked the door. It was old and the lock was rusty and it came open quite easily.

We all gasped at what we saw. A small, blue haired girl covered in blood was laying on the floor. She resembled Violet, but I refused to believe this was her.

She was to skinny, her clothes where torn and she was dirty. The room wreaked of blood, and I stood there starring at the girl.

Vic was the first to run up. He sat next to her body, clutching her blood covered hand, openly sobbing.

I could feel my heart, physically aching. Luke called 911 and Andy walked over and picked up a piece of paper. He unfolded it, read it, and handed it to me.

The words, her suicide note, broke my heart to read.

To my friends, fans, and family,

I want you to know that I loved you all more than life. I really tried to hang on for you, I tried to believe you where coming. But I just couldn't, it was to hard.

I know you all told me I was strong. And I'm sorry, but I'm just not. The real me cries, gets angry, and commit suicide. Strong people aren't afraid of themselves.

I also want to thank you all for letting me play rockstar for a little while. It was fun while it lasted, but we all now that I'm was never going to get that dream back. Nobody was ever going to come for me. I am, and always will be alone.

I love you all and I'm so sorry. I just couldn't take the pain anymore. And I hope that now that I'm gone you will stop worrying about me, because I'm just not worth worrying about.

You'll be okay without me, remember I'm watching. Make me proud. Xoxo

-Violet

Andy's POV

I watched as Jaime read the note and Vic sobbed. I always had a soft spot for Violet. Ever since she was really little and her mom would take her to warped to see Vic.

Growing up she was different then all the other kids. She didn't like playing Barbie or dress up with the other kids. I'll never forget the day Vic called me and told me little 5 year old Violet got in trouble for starting a mosh pit in nap time.

Every year for Halloween she dressed up like a rockstar, or a warped tour security guy. She always wanted something music related for Christmas.

I know the guys loved her to death too. Ashley came over to me.

"I can't believe she's just gone like this." He whispered.

And then I realized I was crying. Hot tears rolling down my cheek. This can't be the end. It can't.

The ambulance showed up and carried Violet out on a stretcher. Vic, Mike, Alex, Trix, an Jaime went with her in the ambulance. I drove with CC and the guys and met them at the hospital. We had to wait outside the room as they where doing surgery to stitch her back up.

Trix's POV

I couldn't stand having to wait out here as my best friend was near death. The hospital wouldn't give us details but she was nearly gone. If we hadn't found her when we did she would've been gone forever.

My best friend. She meant the world to me, and now she's hooked up to a bunch of machines and barely hanging on to life.

I got up for the eighth time and asked the nurse, "do you know how Violet is?"

"Violet Fuentes, yes. The procedure went well. You can go in soon. But no loud noises and she'll have to take it easy for quite a while. She had a few injuries when she came so she'll have to come back In soon to get those straightened out." She said gleaning down at her clipboard.

"Thank you." I said. I walked back to Vic and the guys.

"Surgery went well, we can go in in just a bit." I said. Everybody looked Immediately relieved. I went and sat by Luke.