Mind Games ♟

Chapter 4: The Panic Room

"Nicole I can't believe you would punch your own cousin? And she's nothing but nice to you."
That's an understatement Chanel had it coming. "You act as if killed her," I said calling out my mother's overreaction.
"You know what I don't care I'm going back to work, and when I come back your dad and I will decide what to do with you. And I hope you aren't lashing out Because of Stefan."

Mr. Cage waited patiently for Derek to come to sit so that he can get some answers. "Look I've already talked to."-
Cage raised his hand to silence Derek. "I'm not here about that." He says. 

"Then why are you here?" Derek asked as he was sitting down.

 "I'm here about Nicole." Cage said. 

"Okay, what about her?" Derek asked crossing his arms.

 "Records show that she came here to visit you, is that correct?"

 Derek nods as he clasps his hands together. "Yeah, about these texts that she was receiving but she told me they stopped a while ago. I told her it might've been Chanel since she has every motive to kill him for exposing her. Chanel lived to torture both of them...but when I found out he was fooling around with her...she betrayed me, sure I beat his ass but I wouldn't kill him...she betrayed me...after all, I've done for her." Derek lowers his head.

"You have a little brother, don't you," Cage asked. 

"Yeah, I do."

"Then you must know how it feels to lose one." 

Derek looks away from Cage's dopy eyes. "I didn't kill him." Derek sincerely says. 

"Then who did?" Cage heavily sighed at Derek's expression. "Let me guess you can't tell me either? Who are you protecting?" Cage asked. 

"Nicole, she doesn't need to know what happened...if she finds out the person who did, may kill her or it may kill her."

Music overflows my ears, setting me in a devastating mood. I felt like shit, and for what? Punching a ruthless bitch like my cousin? And to matters worse my mother made me feel bad for standing up for myself. I shouldn't be blaming them, I am a worthless stupid foolish girl. I want the hate no anger and the pain oh the pain is the worst because I can't control it, I just want it to end. I want a way out of this loneliness. I sauntered over to my parent's cabinet and grab their special 1960s red wine, the one they've been meaning to open on their thirtieth anniversary and I opened the bottle, 'do it, do the one thing that will end your suffering, no one will miss you.' I take a large gulp. 

"No," I said almost on the verge of tears. Kick, scream just ignore it, you're bigger than this.

'Drown in it, it's way less painful than hanging yourself.'

So this is what I have come to? Without even realizing that I was in the bathroom I take another sip, this time it burned with regret. Opening the cabinet I take out my mom's meds and pour a couple into my hand. Slowly hesitantly I drown the pills with wine. The whole time I was crying like the pathetic piece of garbage that I am. I turn to the shower, turn it on, and slowly climb in.

Detective Cage sat at his desk investigating the evidence, my diary specifically truly engaged with my inner thoughts. He stops to focus on one line. "Life isn't so easy when you're alone, I guess it's okay since I'd rather be alone than be surrounded by people who pretend they give a damn about me. Derek said that I shouldn't blame myself, but how could I not? I just want it to go away.

Slamming my diary down he darted quickly grabs his coat and rushes to his car.

When he arrived at my house he hesitantly raised his hand to knock on the door. He finally got the courage to bang on the door, "Nicole? Nicole? Open up!" He yells as if I could hear him. He runs his right shoulder into the door causing the door to spring open and he runs to the living room before hearing the shower he rushes down the hall and into the bathroom. He quickly turns off the water and kneels to me to check for a pulse.

 "Okay good you're still breathing..alright let me get you out of here."

At the hospital both my parents rush in and straight to the desk. "Hi, I'm here for Nicole Tyler...is she okay?" The secretary directs her to my room. Outside she finds my doctor looking at a clipboard.

 "Hi, is our daughter okay?" My father says. 

"Mr. And Mrs. Tyler, yes she is fine...we just had to pump her stomach you are very lucky someone was there to catch her in time."

"Can we see her?"

"Yes."

I groan in agony as I slowly open my eyes and turned my head towards him. "What are you doing in my room?" I asked rubbing my head.

 "I'm not actually, you're in a hospital." I frown, "oh for a second I thought I was in hell."

He shakes his head at my insensitive joke. "Why'd you do it?" He asked. 

"I don't know." In fact, I do know I just don't want to tell him. "Everyone has a reason to do something." I shrugged indifferently about the situation I glance over out the window. 

"Was it for Stefan?"

"No...it was for me, I didn't want to feel anything anymore...wait did you read my diary?" Shamefully he nods, "yes...but you have to know I just wanted answers."

I turn away from his gaze, "you should've let me die...I wasn't worth it." I hesitated to sit up. "Nic...you're not worthless."

"My cousin and everyone else seems to think so," I said. 

"Hey, look at me."- I turn to him. "You are not worthless."

"And you're not so bad," I said with a smirk as I turn away from him. "Ashton."-

"What?"

"My name is Ashton." He said smiling. 

"Okay detective getting personal huh?" I asked jokingly. "Haha, you hungry?"

"Yes, I hate hospital food."

 He nods, "I feel you...Hello Mrs. Tyler, I'll be back with your burger." Ashton says getting up to leave and I salute him.