Breeder ~ A Kylo Ren Fanfiction

15

Anika didn't return to the barracks that night, her bunk empty, and I could hardly sleep. I finally passed out maybe an hour or two before we had to wake up, but it was plenty of time for me to have a nightmare. I was in bed, on my back, staring down at my round stomach. I was pregnant, about to pop, really. There were a few healers and midwives in the room, but none of them paid me any mind, even though I knew it was time for me to deliver. And I did, but instead of coming out my vagina, it tore through my stomach, ripping up my skin and organs. And it wasn't a baby; it was a wolf with matted black fur and red eyes. It climbed onto my chest, claws digging into my flesh, ripping down to the muscle. Just as it was about to bite off my face, I woke up.

I was screaming. I didn't want to scream, but I couldn't help it. Even as the other Breeders pulled my flailing body off the top bunk, barely caught me, and dragged me towards the wash area. I couldn't stop wailing, crying and yelling until my throat was raw. They stuck me under one of the spigots and turned on the water, cold as always.

"You're here, Astrid, you're right here with us." I recognized Vera's voice, and the volume of my shouts diminished slightly. "It was just a bad dream, you're safe, you're safe."

"C'mon, she's gonna make us all late," someone said.

The woman with blue hair turned towards the crowd. "Have a little compassion; she's suffering." She turned off the water and gently pushed my hair away from my face lovingly. She had a round body and rosy cheeks, her disposition incredibly sweet. She must've raised many children before being brought to Starkiller Base. "Are you okay now?"

I nodded, clutching my chest. That night terror had been so vivid and horrifying, the images playing over and over in my mind, the face of the wolf superimposed on the crowd of Breeders surrounding me. "I'm okay, thank you."

"Good, now let's get dressed," said the same bitch from before. If Anika was here, she would say we had a new Lynx on her hands. But she wasn't here; she was still being 'punished'.

I stripped off my soggy sleep clothes, scraped a comb through my hair, and quickly cleaned my teeth. We were all going at double speed. My episode set us all back several minutes, and we had very little time to get ready on a normal morning. For the few weeks I'd been here, we'd been out of the door on time every single day. I couldn't even fathom what they'd do if we were late.

Just as everyone was pulling on their dresses, the metal door opened. When we didn't exit immediately, still scrambling into our shoes, a guard poked his head in.

"What's taking so long?"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," was all we could say as we filled out unevenly. 

I was the final one out since, after the events of last night, I'd been too distraught to lay out my clothes properly before climbing into bed. And, much to my irritation, the stormtrooper walking me to my session didn't seem to think it was important to pick up the damn pace. When I got to my room, Ren was already there, sitting on the table where he leaves his gloves. 

"You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry, there was an incident."

He stood up, folding his arms across his chest. "What kind of incident?" When I didn't respond, he rolled his eyes and gestured for me to lie on the table.

I wished I could've told him how many levels of fucked up it was for us to have sex after the shit he'd pulled last night. It didn't matter if it was just business or if he's too much of a sociopath to enjoy it: still fucking creepy.

He put his cloak under my hips like we'd done yesterday, which felt like a thousand years ago. I'd suggested we do it this way when I thought he was almost human. But last night had taught me that he was a monster, that he didn't have the capacity to feel empathy or mercy, and now, for the first time, I felt genuinely violated by having to do this with him. His hand rested on my hip, under my dress. It was cold compared to the warmth of my skin, and I recoiled slightly, but he didn't remove it. 

Once he was inside me, he put both his hands on either side of my shoulders, and I scrunched them closer around me so I wouldn't accidentally touch him. The worst thing was that his face hovered right over mine, our eyes locked. I tried to look away, but his gaze was so intense, it was almost impossible not to meet it. He finished after about ten minutes, but he stayed where he was for a while, breathing heavily.

Then, out of nowhere, he lowered himself down and kissed me. I was so startled, I didn't react for a few seconds. When I finally processed what was going on, I pushed on his chest as hard as I could. I doubted I was physically strong enough to shove him off me, but he must've felt my resistance and pulled away.

"Why the hell did you do that?" I squeaked, my voice much less forceful than I hoped it would be.

"Because I wanted to."

"You can't just do whatever you want; I'm your Breeder, not your whore."

"I don't think you're a whore," he said. "I just wanted to kiss you."

"Get off me."

"No, it's not time yet." He never broke eye contact with me, except to quickly glance back down at my lips. "Are you mad at me?"

Unable to process how he could be so oblivious, it took me a few moments to find the right words. "You brought me to a violent execution yesterday, forced me to watch against my will, just to scare me into submission and now you have the audacity to ask if I'm angry with you? Are you out of your mind?"

He paused, and then peeled himself off me. "Most Breeders are treated a lot worse than you, I hope you know that."