Breeder ~ A Kylo Ren Fanfiction

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I'd never felt more of two minds then I did after Olga's execution. Everyone, even the women who hadn't seen the spectacle in person, wept and trembled from the shock and horror. I did the same, sometimes, but other times, it was nearly impossible to keep the smile off my face. Ben was going to help me escape, help me get back home to my family. I wouldn't have to hand my child over to them like a piece of meat for the First Order to cook and season as they see fit.

He loves you, a voice in my head. If he felt anything less than true love, he wouldn't let you go.

I shook the thought away, focusing on dressing for bed. Out of nowhere, Anika started giggling even as she sniffed back tears.

"What are you laughing about?"

"They think they've won," she whispered, climbing under the sheets. "But they've lost dearly. Now everyone, even the most devoted Breeders, knows what they are."

A month passed without Ben visiting. Each day, the gestation suites felt smaller and smaller, closing in on me. A couple of the other women started cracking up, one even getting hauled off to the box, but most recovered after a quick injection of by swallowing a pill. I tried to steady myself by counting backwards from a hundred or cutting up my food into tiny pieces, but I felt my mind slipping away. If I and a few others hadn't been taken down to the medical bay for an examination, I might have ended up in the box myself.

I was assigned to a different doctor and nurse pair this time, both greeted me with consternation. "If you want him to leave, you can tell me," the nurse whispered.

Before I could ask what she meant, we entered the private exam room and I stopped short, surprised by the sight of a towering man in all black standing in the midst of pale greens, whites, and silvers, his militarist presence so in contrast with the medical equipment.

"Commander Ren," I gasped. "What are you-"

"I wanted to see the sonogram of the child," he said as way of hasty explanation.

I turned to face the doctor. "Is this usual for a four-month check-up?"

"No, it isn't, I told the commander as much."

The nurse and doctor both looked at me pointedly, waiting for me to give the word. I wondered what they'd do if I wanted him gone, wondered what power any of these people possibly thought they had over the Supreme Leader's apprentice.

"It's fine, he can stay."

I climbed onto the reclined chair, parting my legs so the doctor could insert the probe, turning the instrument back and forth. 

"There, you see, that's him, that's your son."

Ben leaned in, face indecipherable. "What is that, just there?"

"Oh, he's sucking his thumb, that can happen at around sixteen weeks."

He sniffed once, leaning back. "Give us the room.

"Pardon?"

"I'd like to have some privacy with my Breeder, now."

The doctor and nurse exchanged a perturbed look, but left us alone, Ben locking the door behind them.

"What is it?" I asked.

He didn't respond, lower lip trembling as he threw his arms around my neck, lacing his fingers through my tangled hair, kissing my brown, my cheeks, my lips. "My son is sucking his thumb." His hand slid over my belly, which had grown substantially in the past month, though still smaller than most would be at four months, smaller than Klint and Farrow. "He won't even know who I am."

"Yes he will," I said, cupping his cheek. "I'll tell him, I'll tell him everything I know about you."

Ben snorted, wiping away his stray tears. "You'll tell our son his father was a rapist and a brute who stole you away from your family."

"You didn't steal me, the Order did, and you're going to save me." When he didn't respond, my pulse jumped into my throat. "You are still planning on helping me, aren't you?"

He looked up at the image on the sonogram machine, biting his lower lip. "It's hard for me, you know. You're the only person I've ever really loved, and that boy in your stomach is my son too, giving you both up is ripping me apart." I didn't speak, knowing if I accused him of going back on his word, it would only push him further away from me, but I wanted more than anything to throttle some sense into him. "But Starkiller isn't safe for you anymore, and it certainly won't be for this little guy, either. The trouble is, I have no idea how to get you off- planet discreetly."

"What about the escape pods in the bunker you took me to that one time?"

"You've been planning your escape that long, have you?" Ben asked. I nodded, looking down at my hands. "That night, I felt so much love, so much longing and desire, but it wasn't for me. You wanted to go home, go back to your husband. I suppose I'm a fool for thinking otherwise."

"No, Ben, please..." I took his face in my hands, pulling his lips to mine.

He kissed me back briefly, but it felt pained. Eventually, he broked the kiss, my hands falling from his hair as he took two steps back. "Let's go, before they start banging on the door."