Back To The Start (One Tree Hill)

Chapter 4

Julian's POV

I can't remember ever having cycled home from school so fast. When I arrived at our house, I was completely out of breath. While I unlocked the door with trembling fingers and then took two steps at a time, sprinting upwards, I wondered what would await me this time. She had sounded really desperate and anxious on the phone. But my imagination was far from reality when I pushed open my mother's bedroom door and found her lifeless body on the floor. With one glance around, I noticed the half-empty bottles that lay next to her and the tube of pills that was also already half emptied. Pure fear let me hold my breath as I dropped to my knees beside her, groping for her pulse with trembling hands. "Mom! Mom, can you hear me?" I shook her slightly, making sure she was still alive. But she didn't respond to my words. Half blind, because tears were blurring my vision, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I called 9-1-1 and then everything happened quickly. Paramedics and a doctor stormed into our house, laid my mother on a stretcher, and carried her to the ambulance. I was allowed to ride in the back because there was no more space in the front. And as we drove with blue light and sirens to the hospital, I held her hand and prayed that she would survive. While my mother got medical treatment at the hospital, I had to wait outside in the waiting area and suddenly wished that Brooke was here. Although we hadn't known each other for a long time, I knew that I could trust her. But maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part, because I so yearned for someone with whom I could share my worries.

"Julian Norris?"

I looked up as the doctor approached me. "Yes?"

"Your mother is out of danger. We pumped her stomach out and gave her an infusion."

"How... how long will she have to stay in the hospital?" I asked, feeling my heart beat faster with relief.

"Only one day. She's even responsive and assured us that it was not her intention to kill herself, but that she simply underestimated the effect of alcohol together with sleeping pills."

He smiled, and all of a sudden I felt just ice-cold rage. It was so typical of her to downplay her addiction. She urgently needed help. Help that I couldn't give her. "She needs help," I mumbled, surprised that I had actually voiced the words loudly.

"You mean she drinks on occasion?"

I nodded silently because I didn't know what else to say. For years I had watched how she slowly destroyed herself. Here we were at a point where I couldn't and didn't want to bear it anymore.

"Well, in that case, your mother might want to think about therapy."

I rolled my eyes. You could rather teach a horse to fly, than to make my mother accept professional help. It was not like I didn't try. But as long as she didn't accept that she was ill, I couldn't help her.

"You live alone with your mother?"

I looked at the doctor thoughtfully for a moment before I nodded. 'Yes, all my life,' I silently added, though it wasn't quite true. But that's how it felt to me because my dad was married to his job and lived his life far away from ours.

"Your father is still alive?"

I nodded again, though it didn't really matter if he was alive or dead. It made almost no difference, because he was never there anyway and didn't care about us either.

"Then you should let your father know. Maybe he can convince your mother to take therapy."

"I hardly believe that, but... thanks." I got up. "Can I see her?"

The doctor nodded and then took me to the room where my mother was lying. As I pushed the door open and faced her, I felt a stab in my heart. She had been such a wonderful, lovable person before she had succumbed to alcohol. And now she was just a shadow of herself. She just didn't deserve this. With a few steps, I was at her bedside and took her in my arms. "I'm sorry, I wasn't there sooner," I said quietly, burying my face against her shoulder. She held me tight, and I let the tears flow that I had tried to suppress all the time.