Back To The Start (One Tree Hill)

Chapter 7

Julian's POV

Psychiatric Clinic, Los Angeles

It wasn't easy for me to go to the clinic because I didn't know what to expect there this time. But I bravely went this way every day, and have been doing so for almost two weeks now. After my mother's suicide attempt, my father immediately had ordered to commit her to a psychiatric clinic. He had believed that he had done his duty with his doing. And he hadn't even visited her since that day. Even worse, my father intended to finally file for divorce. Never, I swore, would I abandon someone who was close to me and in trouble. I took another deep breath before entering my mother's room. She looked at me, with that helpless and desperate look I found hard to bear.

"Julian! Help me! They want to hold me here for good!"

I walked up to her and hugged her. "No, Mom," I said softly. "They just want you to get well again."

"But I'm not sick. They think that, but I'm not."

I closed my eyes. Each time we argued about the same topic, and every time I said the same thing like a broken record. "You're an alcoholic, Mom. And you suffer from depression. You tried to kill yourself. That's not normal behavior."

"But I'm not crazy, right?"

She looked at me pleadingly, and I gently stroked her hair. "No, Mom, you are not crazy. It will only take a while for you to recover completely and leave the clinic."

"I want to come with you now. Please, Julian, take me with you! We forget everything that happened and start from scratch. Just the two of us. As it has always been and always will be."

I looked at her in disbelief. How could she even assume for a second that I would ever forget the view of her lifeless, bleeding body in the tub? This would remain etched into my memory forever, reminding me of my duty never to leave her.

"Did you contact her again?"

I frowned quizzically because I had no idea who she meant.

"That girl from Tree Hill... Brooke Davis?"

Brooke! My heart skipped a beat. For weeks I hadn't thought of her because I had just been too busy with schooling and the task of looking after my mom. How many weeks have it been since we last saw each other? Three weeks, five weeks, two months? I had completely lost track of time, because every day was somehow the same. I remembered her question and shook my head mechanically.

"That's good. You should focus on your education now. One day comes the day when you will find the right woman you may want to marry, with whom you'd like to have children. You're still so young, Julian. Just take your time."

I already found her, I thought silently. The woman with whom I could have imagined all this. And I lost her again. But I couldn't say that to my mother. She wouldn't understand or try to talk me out of it. All the weeks before I hadn't thought about Brooke, and the realization that I still loved her, hit me hard now. "I have to go," I said to my mother and headed for the door.

"But you just came," she said, puzzled.

"I'll be back tomorrow," I promised. "And then I'll stay a little longer." I wanted to be alone now with my heartache, my loss and the memories. When I left the clinic a short time later and went to my car, I remembered the promise that I had given to my mother shortly after she woke up in the clinic, 'Please Julian, don't leave me! You're the only one I have.' And I gave her my promise never to leave her. How high the price was, I realized only now. I reached my car, got in and drove away. I hadn't gotten far when my cell phone rang. Was it telepathy, or why did I see Brooke's picture on the display? I had simply deleted her last calls that my mailbox had recorded without listening to them, because I didn't know what to say to her. But now I was just a blink of an eye away from talking to her in person. And my heart began to beat faster with excitement as I reached for my phone and forgot for a moment that I was in the midst of heavy traffic. As the driver in front suddenly slowed down, I had no chance to stop. I heard the sound of cracking, bending metal and saw a huge cloud of fire and smoke before everything around me went black.