Back To The Start (One Tree Hill)

Chapter 11

Julian's POV

Hotel room

I was convinced that I did the right thing when I threw my clothes carelessly into my travel bag and then zipped it up. It was the only wise thing to do. I couldn't produce the movie. Not after I had learned that Brooke had aborted our child. I dropped onto the bed and closed my eyes. I saw her again, looking at me with her big, brown, tear-wet eyes, begging for my forgiveness. But I couldn't forgive her that. In no way. She had killed our baby because she wanted to carry on with her lazy life. I had read the book. I wasn't stupid. And she probably hadn't even cared. Not about the day on the beach when this miracle had come into existence, nor when she had decided not to have it. My hands involuntarily clenched into fists. It hadn't been just her decision. We should have decided that together. And suddenly I remembered something that I had almost forgotten. The calls, dozens of entries on my mailbox. The call on the day I had my accident. My heart skipped a beat. She had tried to reach me, I suddenly realized. She had wanted to tell me that she was pregnant, and I simply ignored her calls! The realization hit me like a punch in the stomach. It was my fault that our baby was dead! I've been so absorbed in my own thoughts that I didn't notice someone entering the room.

"Thank God, I reached you in time!"

I looked up and noticed that my vision was blurry. I quickly rubbed my eyes to wipe away the tears. "What do you want, Peyton?"

"Just talk to you, Julian. May I sit down?"

I was too tired to argue with her, so I nodded and moved aside so she could sit next to me.

"I know what happened between you and Brooke," she came straight to the point. "Haley and I were with her earlier. She's completely devastated."

"The... the trouble Brooke allegedly had at that time," I began hesitantly. "It wasn't because her parents split, was it?"

Peyton shook her head. "No, Brooke had just learned about her pregnancy. I only found out later when it was already too late." She sighed softly. "It was terrible for her. First she loses you and then the baby too."

"What?" I raised my head and looked at her in disbelief.

"She lost it, Julian. What did you think?"

"I..." Suddenly my mouth went dry. Brooke hadn't aborted the baby, she had suffered a miscarriage. Oh man, what an idiot I was!

"She was in the third month of her pregnancy when she got a heavy bleeding. Haley and I took her to the hospital, but the doctors couldn't save the baby", Peyton went on.

"It's my fault," I stammered, watching Peyton frown at me. "She tried to call me," I confessed. "If only I had responded to one of her calls, then maybe our baby would still be alive."

"No, Julian. Absolutely not." She shook her head." Such things just happen without a reason." She grimaced. "Now that I've told you everything... Are you rethinking the decision about the movie?"

I looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and then nodded. "But before I can continue with the movie, I have to talk to Brooke. I just rushed out of the house without listening to her."

She got up. "Then let's go together. You can unpack your things later."

I was glad that Peyton had been so honest with me. And when we left my hotel room together, I realized that I just found my first real friend in Tree Hill.

Brooke's POV

Haley had left the house after spending more than two hours with me, talking and comforting me. It was good to be able to talk to her about everything. She had been there for me back then and knew how I felt now. Peyton hadn't called back. So, apparently, she hadn't succeeded in changing Julian's mind. I decided to end the day and go to bed when there was a knock at the door. My eyes went to the clock. Who else wanted something from me shortly before midnight? Curiously, I went to the door, opened it and then reflexively held my breath. Julian stood in front of me, holding a huge bouquet of red roses in his arms, and he grinned at me with that smile that I hadn't been able to resist ever since.

"May I come in?"

My throat was tight, I just nodded while my heart was pounding so loud I was afraid he might hear it.

"I came to apologize," he said in a gentle voice. "For everything I said and did. And also for everything that I didn't say and didn't do. I know that I can't undo the last few years. 5 years is a long time. But I hope you can forgive me and give us another chance."

Not only my heart was pounding, but my legs were suddenly soft as rubber as well. He looked pleadingly at me with his dark brown eyes and I could only nod because I was lost for words. When he smiled, I couldn't resist him anymore. I made a step towards him, took the roses out of his hands and dropped them carelessly to the floor before wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my mouth to his. I heard him moan softly and deepened the kiss until we were completely out of breath and needed a break.

"I love you, Brooke Davis," he whispered softly.

I ran my fingers through his dark, wavy hair and pulled him closer to my lips. "Show me," I breathed to him, closing my eyes as he suddenly lifted me up onto his arms and carried me over to the bedroom.

Julian's POV

I thought I was dreaming when I awoke in Brooke's bed the next morning. She lay next to me; beautiful, naked, in deep sleep. I took the opportunity to look at her and felt my heart pounding as I remembered the last couple hours. We had made love, intensively, passionately, as if we wanted to make up for the last 5 years. Although I did have a few relationships after Brooke, it was nothing like what I experienced last night. As if she had noticed that I was staring at her all the time, she suddenly opened her eyes and grinned at me.

"Good Morning! Did you sleep well?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not much. There was someone who held me back from sleep."

She laughed. "You could have said 'no' the third time, but I thought you didn't have enough."

"I didn't," I confessed, leaning over to kiss her gently. "That was just incredible. I know now why you were so popular in high school."

"Hey, don't be so sassy!" She said pouting and then grinned. "You weren't that bad either. Seems like you've learned a bit in the last 5 years."

"A little," I confessed with a smile, sliding my fingers through her hair. "But nobody inspired me as much as you did."

"Did I just dream it, or did you really say 'I love you' to me?" She asked softly.

"No, you didn't dream that." I ran my lips over her cheek. "And if you want, I'll gladly repeat it again." I tenderly bit her earlobe. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too," she confessed. "I never stopped loving you, even though there were a lot of guys in my life after you. But I didn't love them as much as I loved you."

"Not even Lucas Scott?"

"He never really loved me," she said softly. "He always only wanted Peyton. But he was there for me after I..."

I knew how the sentence would go on when she stopped and lowered her head. "Hey..." I lifted her chin gently. "Peyton told me everything. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you."

"I'm still lighting a candle on his or her death anniversary," she confessed softly. "Foolish, right?"

My stomach contracted painfully. "No, not at all. Everyone mourns in their own way," I said softly, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"Should I make breakfast now, or would you like to cuddle a little more?" She suddenly changed the topic.

"Cuddle a bit more," I replied with a grin, pulling her closer to me and placing my lips to her mouth.