Back To The Start (One Tree Hill)

Chapter 40

Brooke's POV

Brooke's and Julian's house

One year later

Unbelievable, how fast the time had passed by. It was the 17th of November, the day the twins were born a year ago. Today was their first birthday, and I had invited my friends and their children for coffee and cake in the afternoon to celebrate the big event with them. I had planned to celebrate twice because otherwise it would have become too turbulent. Because Haley and Peyton had also got their babies. Lydia, Haley's daughter, was four, Sawyer, Peyton's little girl, two months old. And of course Jamie was invited as well. A guest especially expected from Justin because they were still inseparable. Sylvia had helped me with the cake baking and setting the table and then had driven to my mother. No idea what they were doing, but I guessed it was a surprise for the twins. Julian had called from work that it would be later. He was busy with a new film project, even though the 'Ravens' series was still very successful on television. We had moved to the Norris' house, Julian's parents' house. Sylvia had bought it, but Julian had insisted on paying the costs. We had been living there for six months and enjoyed having more space available than in my old house. Even though Jude and Davis still shared a nursery, they would eventually get older and be happy to have more space then. Just as happy as Julian and me, because we too had our own offices. With my mother together, I had started 'Baker Man', a clothing line for boys and fathers, and even had opened a store in town that also was very successful. Everything was perfect and I was very happy except for one thing; I longed for a little daughter. Since Lydia and Sawyer were born, the desire had even grown bigger. And even though I loved the twins and Justin and would never give them away anymore, something was missing in my life. I had no time to brood over it when the first guests arrived.

"Hey!" I greeted my friends, Haley and Peyton, and let them enter. "You can put your baby girls down there on the sofa. And you, Jamie can go upstairs to Justin right away. He's already waiting for you." I nodded to him and laughed as he ran quickly up the stairs.

"Phew, there he goes," Haley said with a grin. "Come here and let me hug you!"

I hugged her and then looked at Peyton, who had sat down on the sofa and held Sawyer in her arms. "Sorry, but I didn't have the time to breastfeed her before." She grinned. "I'll do it quickly."

"No problem. Take your time," I said, looking at Haley. "How are you and your baby girl?"

"We have a lot of sleepless nights right now," she sighed. "I think she is teething. But during the day she sleeps like a stone." She frowned at her daughter, who was sleeping peacefully in her Maxi-Cosi.

"Yes, I can remember those times." I pointed upwards. "I'll get the twins. Otherwise they will oversleep their birthday."

"Let them sleep," Peyton said quickly as she watched Sawyer drink at her breast. "We can use the time to talk a little. It's been so long since I've had a really civilized conversation."

Haley laughed. "With 'civilized' you certainly don't mean the baby topic, right?"

"But that's exactly what I mean," she admitted sheepishly. "Brooke and you have a lot of experience. I've only been a mother for about eight weeks and I'm desperate because I still don't know why she's crying."

"Give it some time," I reassured her. "Believe me, even after a year, I'm not a 'perfect' mother. I think you will never be perfect. But at least the nights have become more bearable now. The first months were terrible. They took turns with waking and screaming, Julian even threatened to give them up for adoption."

"Yeah, I remember you telling that," Peyton said with a chuckle. "But I hardly believe he really would have done it. He loves his sons like crazy. "

I nodded. "Yes, he does," I admitted. "And I'm sure he would be just as fond of a little daughter." I couldn't explain why both suddenly stared at me oddly, until Haley started to talk.

"Does that mean you're pregnant again!" She exclaimed in disbelief.

I glanced quickly at Peyton, who looked just as shocked. "Oh no, I'm not pregnant," I hurried to say. "Not yet at least."

Of course, Haley had to pick up on my remark.

"Not yet?" She repeated. "Are you implying that you and Julian are practicing again to have another baby?"

I felt my cheeks heat up. Why couldn't I shut my mouth? If I told them about my desire for a girl, they would think I was crazy anyway. Besides, it was completely impossible to predetermine the gender. But it was true that I couldn't think of another thing right now, although I should be happy with what I already had; namely the twins and Justin. But I also knew that Julian felt the same way, though he would never admit it. We both knew how risky another pregnancy would be. And yet I had seen his shining eyes when he first had held the babies of my friends in his arms. And so he had spontaneously agreed to take over the sponsorship for the little Sawyer. Haley had asked me before, so we were both godparents now. My silence had probably been too long, because Haley grabbed my arm.

"Brooke, you know how crazy that is, right?" She gasped. "Did you forget what you went through during your pregnancy with the twins?"

I nodded. Of course I knew it, and yes, it was crazy, but I couldn't suppress my feelings. But first I had to convince Julian. "That was just a hypothetical consideration," I said, forcing a smile. "We are not practicing for another baby." I looked up. "I think it's time to wake up the twins from their nap," I said and turned to the stairs.

"Wait, I'm coming with you!"

Haley ran after me and together we entered the nursery, where my sons lay peacefully sleeping in their cribs.

"Like two little angels," she said, sighing softly.

I laughed. "Yes, when they sleep. But wait until I 'release' them. Jude crawls like a world champion and Davis pulls himself up everywhere and takes his first steps. We have locked all the stairs with fences, because he even tried to crawl up the stairs. I tell you, the playpen was the best purchase we ever made for the twins."

Haley laughed. "Yes, I know that from Jamie. Once they're able to walk, nothing is safe from them."

"Speaking of Jamie..." I looked through the open door to the room across the hall, Justin's room. "It's so quiet in there. Do you think we should have a look?"

Haley nodded and walked to the door, opening it quietly. Smiling, she turned to me and gestured to me that I should be quiet. I looked through the crack of the door and saw both boys squatting on the floor, playing with Justin's Lego bricks. "Let's not disturb them," I whispered, closing the door quietly behind me.

"Let's get the twins, then we'll go down and have some coffee and cake," Haley suggested. "I'm really hungry now."

I nodded, smiling, and together we went back to the nursery to wake up the twins.