Back To The Start (One Tree Hill)

Chapter 5

Julian's POV

I didn't know why I had agreed to Brooke's suggestion to do something else together that would have nothing to do with tutoring. But I finally gave in to her request, though I knew it was wrong. After this last date our ways would part. Just the mere thought made my heart ache. My mother had prepared everything for our move, and early in the morning we'd be on a plane to L.A. where a new life would begin for us, far away from Tree Hill, its people, shops, Brooke...

"Julian? Are you dreaming?"

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted. "What did you say?"

"I asked if you've ever been to the beach before?"

I shook my head. If I told her that I hadn't had the time because I had been busy with my homework and various intensification courses, she would probably just laugh at me.

"Then this is really the 'first time' for you?"

Her eyes gleamed mischievously, and I suddenly felt heat everywhere. "Yes, the first time," I muttered, following her slowly behind. The view was just breathtaking. The beach stretched before me in endlessness. Dozens of beach houses were along the seashore, and the blue, clear water and foaming waves invited to go for a swim. I turned to Brooke and my breath caught as I watched her slip off her shirt over her head to reveal a tiny bikini that accentuated her slim form in just the right places. It was the first time I saw Brooke in a bikini. Actually, it was the first time ever I saw a girl almost undressed. Because unlike her, I had never had a girlfriend or any sexual experiences. I quickly turned away from her. What did I just think? This was just a harmless meeting among friends, nothing more, nothing less. Brooke was my student. And we would leave it at that. Everything else would only lead to complications. As I suddenly felt hands on my shoulder, I flinched involuntarily.

"Take off your shirt, Julian. Or do you want to go into the water with it?"

She smiled and I felt heat rising inside me. As I slowly pulled my shirt over my head, I wondered how she would evaluate what she was about to see. I knew that unlike the other guys who Brooke knew, who were athletic and muscular, I was slender-chested and not very attractive. When she stood in front of me, staring up at me with her head back, I realized how big the difference in size really was between us. She would have to stand on tiptoes if she wanted to kiss me. And the way she was looking at me, it seemed she thought the same. I quickly turned away from her and ran towards the sea. "Okay, who's in the water first?" I shouted, running until the waves crashed over me. The water was cool and refreshed my heated skin. However, it didn't cool the internal heat I felt when Brooke suddenly appeared next to me. Her long hair was wet and her bikini stuck to her body like a second skin. Her nipples pressed through the thin fabric of her top, and for a moment I wondered what it would feel like to take those small, solid breasts in my hands. Terrified by my own thoughts, I ran out of the water and fell panting into the soft sand. My pulse was still at 180 when she finally showed up and dropped down next to me.

"What's wrong?"

I didn't answer her right away, but watched her for a while drawing letters in the sand, that the waves washed away almost immediately. "I can't do this," I said softly, avoiding her gaze.

"What do you mean?"

God, how naive she was! Did she really not know what feelings and thoughts she had just induced? Feelings that I was not allowed to have. I spread my arms. "This... the beach... the sea... us..." I broke off in mid-sentence and shook my head. "I'll leave Tree Hill tomorrow, Brooke," I said, glancing at her. "It would be wrong if we started something now, which we can't continue with."

"I don't want you to leave!"

I closed my eyes and struggled with my self-control. "Do you think I want this?!" I shouted desperately. "Do you think I want to leave Tree Hill?" I shook my head. "I want nothing more than to stay here. But I can't, Brooke. I have no choice. I can't leave my mother alone. She needs me." I hoped she would understand. But she just looked at me with sad eyes.

"I... I need you too."

I had no time to respond to her confession when she suddenly wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her lips to my mouth. For a moment I was too shocked by her ambush that I didn't know how to react. But as she slid her hands over my body and deepened the kiss, I gave up all resistance and succumbed to my feelings.

Hours later, when I was alone in my bed, still completely shaken by the events on the beach, I wondered why I had to fall in love just now. In 24 hours my new life in L.A. would begin. There was no future for Brooke and me. And it was no consolation that I knew that time would eventually heal the wounds. Didn't they say that you would never forget the person with whom you had sex with for the first time? I still couldn't believe that we had made love, on the beach, in broad daylight, while the waves had crashed over us. I would never have thought that I would have my 'first time' on the beach. And probably it hadn't been a satisfying experience for Brooke because I didn't really know what I was doing. But it had just felt right at that moment. As if fate had guided us. And just as we had come together the first time, we had separated the same way. I knew it was impossible for her to say goodbye to me at the airport. My mother would have had a heart attack. So we had kissed for the last time, before I got on my bike and rode home. I had promised her that I would get in touch with her as soon as I arrived in L.A.. We wanted to stay in touch, send text messages, call each other. But it was clear to both of us that it could never replace direct contact. Brooke's life went on in Tree Hill, mine in Los Angeles. And at some point the contact would break off. I closed my eyes and noticed a tear slowly running down my cheek and then falling onto the pillow where it seeped away. "I love you, Brooke Davis," I said softly, before turning to one side and finally giving up the struggle against tiredness.