Back To The Start (One Tree Hill)

Chapter 36

Julian's POV

In the hospital

Brooke slept soundly as I kissed her on the forehead and then left her room. Although I should have been tired, since it was already close to midnight, I only felt restless. Previously, I had called our friends and family and had informed them about the birth of the twins and that mother and babies were well. I paced nervously back and forth in front of the door, when a doctor approached me.

"Mr. Baker? Don't you want to drive home? Your wife will sleep now. The procedure was very exhausting, physically and emotionally. And you should get some rest, too."

I shook my head. "I can't sleep anyway," I said, stroking the stubble on my chin. "Besides, I want to be there when she wakes up."

The doctor smiled. "Understandable. But as I said, your wife will surely sleep for several hours now."

"I'm going to the waiting room," I decided and was about to leave when he spoke to me again.

"I have a better idea," he said thoughtfully. "Come with me."

He made a gesture, and hesitantly I followed him. "Where are we going?" I asked curiously.

"I thought you might want to see your twins," he said, smiling. "Both are still in the incubator and are being artificially ventilated and fed, but their condition is stable. I see no reason why you shouldn't visit them."

With a mixture of fear and nervous anticipation, I followed the doctor to the premature infant ward. He opened a door and let me enter. I looked at him questioningly, and he gave me an encouraging nod.

"Just go in there. If you have any questions, I'm waiting outside."

He stayed outside and left me alone with my worries and fears. Hesitating, I approached the two incubators and first read the name tags, Jude Baker and Davis Baker, before taking a look inside. My stomach tightened and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. They were so small and looked so helpless, with these tubes everywhere. Slowly I stepped between the two and put my hands on the lid of the glass beds. "Hey, guys," I said in a trembling voice. "This is your daddy. Don't be afraid of those weird devices standing around you. You are going to make it. And you know why? Your mom is Brooke Davis, and this woman is the strongest person I've ever met." I paused for a moment and looked down at them before finally turning away and leaving the room. All the time inside of the room I had tried to stay strong. How could they have taken the courage to fight for their lives if I collapsed in front of them? But when I stood outside in the hall, I gave up the fight against the tears. I quickly left the premature ward and headed back to Brooke. I just wanted to be with her now, to feel her vicinity, even though I knew she was asleep and probably wouldn't even know I was with her. I had almost reached her room when I saw Haley approaching me. I didn't need to say much, because she already seemed to recognize how I felt and took me silently in her arms.

"Julian! I came as fast as I could. How are Brooke and the twins?" She asked with concern.

I carefully freed myself from her arms and wiped the tears from my face. "Brooke is fine," I told her, my voice hoarse. "And the twins are also well considering the circumstances that they were six weeks early."

"I don't understand," Haley said, frowning. "I had been with her before. We ate cake and talked and she showed me the nursery." She shook her head. "She was fine when I left."

I remembered Brooke's condition when I had found her in our bedroom. And even then she had refused to go to the hospital. "She was probably already in labor and just didn't want to show it to you," I said softly.

She thought for a moment. "She had back pain," she suddenly remembered. "But she said she had that for a while. I didn't pay much attention, because I had that too, shortly before Jamie's birth." She lowered her head guiltily. "I'm so sorry, Julian! If I had known that she was in labor, I never would have left her alone!"

"Don't blame yourself. We made it in time," I said reassuringly and forced a smile.

"Have you seen the babies?" She asked curiously.

I nodded. "They are so small and fragile, Haley," I said desperately. "I wish I could do something to help them."

"You can." She nodded eagerly. "Ask the doctors what is allowed. I informed myself. There is even the possibility that you can have them with you. 'Kangaroo Care' is the name of the practice holding your baby on your bare chest. They need to feel mom's and dad's heartbeat and their body warmth."

I had to smile involuntarily. "You've been well informed."

"As the future godmother, I also have an obligation to look after their well-being," she explained with a smile. "And as your friend, I'm here to take over your place. You should go home and rest, Julian."

She put a hand on my shoulder and looked at me with a serious, worried face.

"The next few days and weeks are going to be exhausting enough. You'll need a lot of strength and as long as Brooke is asleep, you should rest, too." She smiled. "I told Justin that he had two little brothers, and he's looking forward to meet them. Well, exciting times are coming up for you five."

I looked at her in surprise. It was only then that I realized that Brooke and I were responsible for three children now. "That sounds nice and scary at the same time," I confessed, frowning.

Haley laughed. "It sounds like many sleepless nights. That's why you should sleep as long as you can."

"Okay." I threw my arms defensively in the air. "You won. I'll drive home and try to sleep for a few hours. Are you staying here with Brooke?"

She nodded. "And if she wakes up I'll call you, I promise."

I smiled and then hugged her briefly. "Thanks, Haley!"

"And now go!"

She made a gesture as if she wanted to shoo me away, I turned and walked to the elevator to ride down to the exit.