Song for the chapter: Arms- Christina Perri
Chapter 6:
The flashback comes as the water chills me to the core.
And then it's over. I can't remember anything else, just that one minute of a forgotten year and a half of my life.
I find myself forgetting how to breathe, how to stand, how to blink, I just use my hands to brace myself as I let my body fall onto my bum. I sit cross legged on the grass and put my face in my hands.
I feel like time is moving in slow motion. I hear people talking to me, but my ears won't focus on their voices. I just block them out, I block everything out and let the darkness comfort me.
My hands are shaking so badly I can hardly press my face against them.
I thought I would be happy with a memory. But no, not this one.
I can't believe this, all of their kindness to me is a lie. I'm a fucking bitch to them, and they are all bullies to me. I hate them. I can't believe this.
Because I don't hate them.
But I did.
So, does that mean I still do?
This can't be happening, everything was going perfectly. I was happy. For the first time in forever I was my real and bright eyed self, not pretending to be anything I'm not. I had no burdens from the past, and no stress for the future.
Things were perfect. Until I remembered that they're not.
I feel someone pull me to my feet by my armpits and then carry me somewhere. Light peeks between the cracks in my hands so I assume I'm inside.
Inside the house that I dreaded coming to last summer. The house that I grew to despise these boys in. The house full of secrets and lies and fake friendship. They have been playing me ever since my accident. Unless, of course, they are actually all kind and I'm just a rotten brat.
That seems more likely.
However, it still isn't very soothing.
I must be in shock from that. It's surreal to think that I have a life I don't even know about. It's scary...I'm genuinely scared of everything now.
I feel myself being placed on a bed. The person grabs my shoulders and I hear them talking to me. It's strange, I'm perfectly aware of what's happening, I just can't respond to it.
"Rosie, are you okay?" I hear the voice of Niall ask me. I freeze. And then I start to cry.
I shake my head no repeatedly, showing him I can hear him. I don't have an appropriate response for this situation, so I feel my sobs accurately represent what I'm feeling better than my words. I couldn't stop them either way.
"C'mon you need to get out of these clothes." He sighs.
He unzips my sweatshirt and I take my hands away from my face momentarily so he can take it off.
"Crap, your shirt is soaked too. Can you change it yourself, I'm not sure if you'd be okay with...my help." He asks me. I don't fucking care if Niall sees my bra at this point. I put my arms straight up, signaling I would like his help.
He cautiously pulls my shirt over my head. I keep my eyes shut, but I can hear him searching for a shirt in my dresser. He glides my arms through the sleeves and then tugs the fabric over my head. He even pulls my hair our of the back of it. I put my hands back over my eyes.
"Do you want to lay down?" He asks. I nod. Niall guides me under the covers and then pulls them to my neck, "Get some rest." He says and brushes the hair out of my face. He's leaving.
