forgotten {{fillie}}

• f o r t y • s i x •

Finn's POV:

Millie, Sadie, Caleb, Gaten, Noah, Natalia, Joe, Charlie, David, Winona and I all sat around a table at a slightly upscale restaurant.

"To Fillie!" Natalia announced, raising her glass.

"To Fillie!" Joe agreed, raising his glass too, clinking it against Natalia's.

"And to their outstanding photographer," Natalie added, glancing over to Joe.

"Agreed!" Caleb chimed in, and we all lifted our cups and glasses, tapping them gently against one another's.

"Guys, even though I do appreciate all of this," Millie said beside me, and I turned my head to look at her, "We didn't have to go out for dinner just because Finn and I said we're together."

"Yeah," I added, and she looked up at me with a sad smile.

"Are you kidding? Of course we had to go out for you guys!" Charlie said. It was nice and all, for sure, but it just felt weird.

We talked for a while longer about random topics, anywhere from season three to general life. Our food arrived at our long table, and it was delicious to say the least. Millie looked like she was having a great time, so as long as she was happy, I was too.

"I'll pay the bill," I offered when we had all finished our meals.

"Nonsense! We're out here for you," Winona shut me down.

"Yeah, we'll pay," David added, and the two pulled out their wallets to sort out the money. Suddenly, a wave of anxiety washed over me.

"Thank you," Millie said quietly. 

I needed to get out of there.

"I'm gonna go get some air," I stated, then pushed my chair out to stand up. I pushed my chair in before turning to the door, and pushed it open until the cool breeze hit my face.

"Deep breaths, deep breaths," I murmured to myself, eyes darting around manicly. I inhaled sharply, then exhaled deeply at first, but eventually calmed down.

I have situational anxiety.

It means whenever I get uncomfortable in the moment of a situation, I have a fully-fledged anxiety attack. It can be anything from just a few deep breaths to going to the emergency room. I always have to expect the worst.

I didn't really know what had triggered the attack, but I feel like it was a combination of things. Natalie toasting, Charlie piping up, Winona and David paying the bill.

I stood at the edge of the curb, staring out into the night sky. Too bad there weren't any stars though, damn city light pollution.

"Finn?" a small British voice asked. I turned slowly on my heel, tilting my head to see Millie approaching me cautiously. My entire body was shaking, and I could feel my eyes water.

"Hi," I mumbled shakily.

"Is everything okay?" Millie asked, taking large steps towards me. 

"M-Mhm," I stuttered, and her eyebrows knitted together in concern.

"Finn," she sighed, crossing her arms.

"Okay, I'm just-I'm just freaking out, okay," I responded, barely holding it together.

"Oh my God are you having an anxiety attack!?" she exclaimed, her voice full of worry.

"Yep, uh-huh," I blurted quickly, and she grabbed my arm, setting me down on a nearby bench.

"Finn, breathe," Millie told me, and I tried to regulate my inhales and exhales. But it was no use.

"C-c-call Nick," I stammered, my face growing hot as my fingers trembled even more.