When we first met . . .

Chapter 25🥀

"I'm sorry," I tell him.

" I am really thankful you told me the truth." He says and I'm not sure I understand what he's talking about. "About the other guy" he clarifies. "That's why I gave you another chance. I was hurt. We were only like a week in our relationship and everything was still new to me but I figured it out. This was new to you to and you felt intimidated by my fame. I don't blame you. Even other girls I tried something with that were also famous sometimes got a bit intimidated. I can see it on your face. That you're scared." He moves his face away as if he is frustrated with me.

"Look I don't blame you. I know how it must feel for you. But I'm just another normal guy with a job that's a bit different. But I want you to treat me like I'm some dude you met at a concert by mistake. Not some famous dude that's makes you doubt yourself." I swallow the lump that formed in my throat.

"I'm sorry I treated you that way. It's just so hard. I can't help but think I'll probably never be good enough for you. And you are so sweet and kind and I really like being with you. I don't do it on purpose. I don't want to push you away." I kiss him. "Please let's forget about this. I know you are not just some famous guy, but I can't just ignore it. The fame and the tour, the fans everything it's a part of your life. I'm so happy I met you. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. I wouldn't change a thing about you." I say truthfully. His eyes are on mine staring deep into my soul sending shivers down my spins.

He leans in, kissing me, invading into my mouth and I let him. I want him. I don't him to leave. I can't believe I was so foolish. He moves his mouth to my neck biting and kissing softly as I slowly take his shirt off.

His hands move the ham of my dress up, and he's gliding his hands up and down my back before pulling it off me. His little grin as he checks me out once I'm out of the dress makes me laugh and to shut me up he takes y mouth with his.

His hands take their time moving against my body before they strangle with taking my bra off.

He inhales making me shy all of a sudden. "I really missed this," he says looking me in the eyes.

"my boobs?" I ask half seriously half jokily.

"you" his hands move to my hair pulling me close to him so he could kiss me. When I'm almost out of breath his mouth leaves mine, letting me take in air as his lips move south, down to my breasts.

A moan escapes my mouth making me feel shy that I bite my lip so hard afterward almost making it bleed, but I let it go eventually. His hands holding my face in place, one hand on my cheek the other tangled in my hair.

He lifts me up, walking me with his hands holding my hips as his lips move back to my lips taking me to his bed,

He throws me on the bed and in one swift move he takes my underwear off starting to kiss me down there,  not prepared at all for his sweet assault another moan escapes my mouth as I shift to let him continue. Fuck this feels good.

He continues teasing me, oh Jesus. "Shawn stop, I'm going to come" I try to stop myself from exploding right now. Without having to ask twice he stops, standing in front of me giving me a knowing look before climbing on me giving me a chest-kiss and his head moves to my neck, gathering all my strength I push him, so now I am on top of him. I give him a wicked smile before I take his boxers, freeing his erection, leaving him naked underneath me

He sits down to give me a kiss and I oblige. His hands move to my hips lifting me so I'm sitting on him as I had before on the couch in the living room.

He stares in my eyes, letting me know that we're ok. That he cares for me, that I mean to him as much as he means to me.

I nod at his letting know I got his message even if he hasn't said a word. His smile is wide as his lips his mine.

"ready?" he whispers on my lips. I smile at him and I nod again.

He starts slowly easing into me. Oh fuck. I almost forgot what he feels like, he starts slow but just I adjust he goes a bit faster.

He kisses me neck almost sending me over the edge, He goes faster, and faster, and I can't take it anymore, and I let go "Fuck.." I fall on top of him. After a few seconds, steadying our breaths, I finally speak up

"That was amazing," I say to his shoulder. "Yeah. It was" he agrees, kissing my forehead.

"How is it to be famous?" I ask out of the blue. Knowing I startled him as his whole body tense and shift underneath me. "Nothing related to our last conversation" I reassure him.

He giggles, relaxing a bit.  "Weird." He says. "I remember myself 6 or 7 years ago. Oh wow, I never thought all this would happen to me... I feel like so many people really started appreciating me... and to listen to me, to my music, and what I got to say. And you know it's really incredible how people can relate to someone through the music... and to see so many people, fans coming over from all around the world just to see me. Just to hear my voice. It's crazy."

"It sounds crazy!" I say. "I can't even imagine being famous. You need to think about everything you do. How people will react to that. It's just, it seems so hard. I really have no idea how people are famous"

"Yeah." He agrees with me. "Sometimes it is really hard. I can sit at a restaurant and get a panic attack when a fan asks me if she can get my autograph... But you know at the end of the day I do what I love. And people see that... so it's really worth it. But yeah you have to be really strong. All the time." He says. "It's not as simple as it looks on the outside. People are watching my every move, I can barely go visit my family and just have a fun Saturday with my family without people coming over. That's why I haven't had a girlfriend, until now..." he says Referring to our earlier conversation.

"What do you mean?"

"A lot of times I thought I found someone I like, But the fame and the fans didn't give me the privacy I needed. I couldn't go out with someone without thinking straight away we are serious and asking on wedding dates and it's just..." He starts chuckling.  "t's just, I can't really go on dates and do stuff like guys my age do you know? I can't go to the mall. I can't go to Walmart, or even to go out and buy some food. I can't do anything without people coming over and asking all these questions... won't lie, it's just really hard to live your life. But it's also really fun." He says.

"A lot of times girls used the fact I was famous for their own. They told their friends before anything really happened, they took pictures of me, they told secrets of mine to others... it was hard finding a girl that could see who I really am when I'm off stage when I'm not Shawn Mendes the singer when I'm just Shawn Mendes the Canadian boy who likes to play music and to be happy"

"So how come you trust me? How come you don't think I am telling all my friends about us?" I ask. "Which I'm not," I add quickly. "I haven't told anyone. But how come you trust me? And you tell me stuff? Send me pictures and you gave me your number? And you slept with me on our first date? I don't get it" I say go confused.

"I don't know, sometimes you just got take some risks, I felt like you were trustworthy." He says. And I smile again. "I think you also forgot that You had no idea who I was when we met."

"Weren't you suspicious?" I ask.

"Of course I was," he says. "At first. But I thought about it, and I said why not give you a chance?"

"So how can you be famous?" I ask. "That's not what I meant" I shake my head. "I meant... how can you trust people? Isn't it hard? To be famous? People must treat you differently and awkwardly"

"Well, not everyone. And not all the time. I have a lot of friends that know what's it like and they can relate and we can hang out and they will treat me like friends should. But you know, even the basic things are really hard to do." He says "But at the end of the day I get to do what I love, and it's not that I can't go out, I just need to be really patient with people... and when you think about it, if I wasn't a famous singer, we would have never met... so there is some good stuff that comes out of the fame." He smiles and I kiss him.