Divergence: Choices

Chapter 10

I arrive at Zeke's apartment just after eight. He raises his eyebrows at me when he see's that I am clearly nervous. I don't waste anytime telling him everything I have uncovered from Max's laptop using mirroring software, to Eric's emails, and late night train rides.

Zeke stares at me wide eyed and in disbelief that our faction, our home, is crumbling beneath us. I clear my throat before continuing. "Honestly Zeke, everything I have found points to Erudite using Dauntless as an army, I'm just not sure what for yet. Tris has more information, she will be here at nine."

"Why didn't you tell me, when all of this started?" Zeke ask, almost as if he is insulted for being left out.

"I wasn't sure what I was really seeing, you know I'm overly suspicious of everyone already. I wanted to make sure my hatred of Eric wasn't blinding me from the truth. But when Tris mentioned something this morning, I knew for sure."

Zeke nods, accepting my answer. It is ten till nine now, I am not sure if Tris will even show or not, her words still echoing in my mind. A knock at the door tears mr from my thoughts and doubts. Zeke ushers Tris in whose eyes have yet to leave the ground.

She takes a seat across the room, remaining silent as if she is waiting to be summoned to speak.

"Tris?" I ask cautiously, my words bringing her eyes to mine. "This morning you were telling me about a conversation you overheard last night, this is a safe place to continue that conversation, if you're ready."

She wrings her hands nervously before beginning. "I was unable to sleep last night, I had gone to get a drink of water, and while walking back to the dorm I heard voices. I stopped in the hallway in order to listen, it was Eric talking to a woman, I recognized her voice, it was Janeane Mathews."

"Did you hear what they were discussing?" I ask her, Zeke giving her his full attention.

Tris nods and continues. "Janeane was informing Eric that she had Max appoint him as leadership for the sole purpose of hunting down Divergent rebels here in Dauntless. They are using the initiation process to find them, she wanted to know if any had been discovered yet."

I stopped breathing at the word Divergent. I look at Zeke, who's face has lost color. We have never discussed Uriah being Divergent, based on his expression I am guessing he knows and is now terrified for his brothers life.

I try to remain calm. "Is there anything else?"

Tris now looks even more nervous, glancing back and forth between Zeke and I. "On visiting day, my mother, from Abnegation came to see me. She wasn't allowed to visit my brother Caleb who transferred to Erudite, they had banned Abnegation members from their visiting day."

I look at her confused, wondering where this is going. "She asked me to visit him for her, to make sure he is okay as well as ask about a new serum that is being created. Supposedly a serum that Divergent's are not immune to. That Erudite had taken a great interest in Divergent's and are actively searching for them in each faction. She told me that anyone found to be Divergent is in great danger."

Her words send fear striking through my body. Zeke lets out a long breath, he must have been holding it. This may be the first time I have ever seen him speechless.

"That's all I know." Tris says breaking the new found silence. "I should be getting back to the dorms now." She stands up, obviously in a hurry to leave.

I shoot Zeke a look, indicating I need a minute alone with her. He smirks at me before wordlessly walking into his bedroom and closing the door.

Tris looks at me, it is the first time she hasn't glanced away since this morning.

"Tris..." I start but don't know how to finish, I don't know what words will fix this. "I'm so sorry." I sigh. "I only held extra simulations today thinking your simulation would be last night's attack, I wanted to give you an opportunity to face it in private before landscapes. I never... thought that.." I fumble over words.

Tris stares at me intently. "I never meant to make you feel that way, that I was rejecting you." My breaths are quickening, and my voice is shaky as I continue. "Last night, you had been through something traumatic, and were hurt. I didn't know how clear you were thinking and didn't want to take advantage of you in a vulnerable situation. That is the only reason I di.. I didn't respond more."

I have to look away, my cheeks are flushed at the thought of the things I wanted to do last night. How good her lips felt pressed against my skin, and how much I want to feel them again.

"You saw my bare body today. Simulation or not, it was still my body." Her face is now red, her eyes glazed over with tears.

I stare at her trying to will her to feel my understanding, I know the vulnerability and humiliation she feels right now from her Abnegation roots. "Yes, I did." I say straight forward, there is no reason to try to deny it or downplay it.

Tears stain her cheeks now. Without hesitation I stride forward and pull her into my arms, fuck the rules. Her head pressed against my chest as I press one hand into the small of her back while the other runs through her hair.

"I'm so embarrassed." She confesses, barely audible through her sobs.

"You shouldn't be." I whisper into her hair. I want to tell her how beautiful I think she is, but that is too forward in this moment.

"Easy for you to say, it wasn't your thing being displayed on a screen." I try to stifle my small laugh but I fail.

"No, no it wasn't." I chuckle as I pull back enough to look at her. "But, my first time seeing a woman that way was on a screen, today, actually. Some might say that is just as embarrassing based on Dauntless standards hmm." I hope my admission will make her feel more at ease.

Tris studies me looking for any indication that I may be lying, she finds none, instead she offers an almost sympathetic smile.

I bring my hand down to wipe away the tears that have yet to dry on her cheeks. Her grey eyes pierce me, suddenly I feel brave. I slowly lean down, as if I may startle her and gently press my lips to her neck.

I pull back a little. "Is this okay?" My voice is quite and full of nerves. Tris responds by lifting her head a little, exposing more skin of her neck to me. I quickly press my mouth back to the exposes flesh, this time parting my lips enough to taste her skin.

Tris's grasp on me tightens when I plant a light kiss on her jaw, trying to work up the courage to make it to her lips. I pull back, resting my forehead on hers. Both of us close our eyes, breathing heavily and take the moment in.

Zeke's bedroom door opens, Tris jumps back from me looking flustered. Zeke raises his eyebrows. "Sorry, it got quite so I thought it was safe to come out. I can go back in if you guys wan't to finish." His face holds a little smirk at his words.

I shoot him a death glare that he just laughs at. I turn towards the door and nod at Tris to follow. I wait for her to pass, pressing my palm between her shoulder blades to guide her. "I'll walk you back."

"You don't have to."

"I know-I want to. I want to know you're safe."

The walk is quite, but not uncomfortable. I find myself shoving my hands deep in my pockets to resist the urge to reach for her hand. We stop just outside the dorms bit a safe distance away where we wouldn't be noticed.

"Thank you, for walking me back." She shuffles her foot in front of her, keeping her eyes on the ground. She is nervous, so am I.

She finally looks up at me. The corners of my lips tug upwards as I nod at her, my eyes only able to focus on one thing, her lips.

I internally plead with myself to make that move, to give in to my desire. Tris shifts her eyes between mine and my lips. I close my eyes, I am a coward.

"I'll see you tomorrow Tris, try to get some rest." She gives me a slight smile before walking away.

Damn.