Divergence: Choices

Chapter 21

The sun has began to set, Zeke will be here soon. "Tris." I murmur, we need to get ready. She stirs a bit, her eyes still red from crying. The sight causes a pang in my chest. "Hey?" I say softly, sweeping the hair out of her face. "Are you- we, are we okay?" I ask her nervously.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so messed up. I just, felt wrong for enjoying that."

I nod, knowing the guilt from Abnegation all to well. "I understand, we can take things slower, much slower." I assure her again. She reaches up and pecks my lips before standing.

"Can I borrow a sweat shirt so I don't have to go back to the dorm?" She ask in a more relaxed tone. I start rummaging through my clothes, finding the smallest one I have and handing it to her.

"You know, you could keep some things of yours here, if you wanted." I say rubbing the back of my neck nervously.

"You wouldn't mind?" She ask me with a smile.

"Not at all, I know you will get your own place next week, but I hope you'll still want to stay here sometimes.... or all the time." I say, realizing too late how desperate I sound.

"Are you asking me to live here, Tobias?" She ask with a very neutral tone.

My ears instantly go hot. "I wouldn't mind it." I say with a shy smile. She wraps her arms around my neck pulling me down for a short soft kiss. She doesn't indicate how she feels about staying here, I won't bring it up again, it's her choice.

Zeke arrives, carting the paintball supplies letting us know the others are waiting at the tracks. Tris walks ahead to meet Uriah and Marlene, spacing out the distance between us. Zeke also brought my gun from the control room, I didn't want to alarm Tris by thinking there is a reason I would need it. We start towards the tracks to meet the others, I pull Zeke to the side when we reach the door. "Zeke,  if something goes wrong, get her back here safely." I tell him without our eyes meeting. He claps a hand against my back, it's meaning is stronger than words.

The air is cool and the night is still. Uriah and Marlene are bantering back and forth about who will win, Tris stands back watching them with somewhat of an envious look. It never occurred to me that she may want to be able to act that way in public with me, I plan to rectify that situation soon enough. I hear the train in the distance, it's time to jump.

Zeke divides up the teams, purposely placing Tris and I on opposite teams to make it less suspicious when we disappear. The teams jump separately, Tris is to meet me at the Ferris wheel. As soon as my feet hit the ground I take off running, explaining I would scout for Zeke's team. I see Tris before she has even made it to our spot, running up behind her and grabbing her hand. "C'mon, we have to move quickly." I say already out of breath.

Abnegation is only a mile from here, we should make it there in less than ten minutes. My heart is pounding when we start to see the dark streets, minimal lights peering through the plain grey houses. I pull Tris off the road, finding a dark space behind an abandoned building to have a moment to catch our breath.

Our breathing has slowed, our moods have shifted, her eyes look grey and fierce in the moonlight. I pull her close to me, running my hands through her hair and cupping her face. I rest my forehead on hers, trying to pull strength from her. "Tris, if something goes wrong, Zeke, he will get you back, I want you to go with him." I tell her softly.

She pulls back, looking at me in disbelief. "I'm not leaving here without you Tobias." I want to argue, but I already know she won't listen. I press my lips to hers, the kiss is brief, but says all the words we need to between us. 

We slink behind housing, hiding in the shadow to remain unseen. Natalie should be home alone, there is a council meeting tonight that should occupy Andrew. When we reach her home my heart feels as though it is going burst through my chest. My breathing must be unsteady because without looking at me Tris grabs my hand and holds it to her chest. It takes me back to the moment I knew for certain she had feelings for me. I concentrate on her breaths, matching mine to hers before dropping my hand back down.